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Welcome new member, swelborn.

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Prostate Cancer
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Posted 10/26/2013 3:21 PM (GMT 0)
I found her first posting on Devasted1's Intimacy Thread. I am starting this thread so we can make here welcome and find out more about her and her guy.
Posted 10/26/2013 5:06 PM (GMT 0)

swelborn said...
My guy withdrew after his surgery. His inability to achieve an erection really damaged his self esteem as a man. It NEVER affected my love, respect, and desire for him. We are not yet married and I do not live with him so I could have walked, but I'm still here.
I finally had to have a talk with him and help him understand that I needed him to show me he still desired me. That for me, it was important that we do what we can in the intimacy department and not let what we can't do affect our happiness. That was the turning point. He said we could try the pump he was given and I was all for it and very happy with the results. Our love life has returned and he is back to being the guy I fell in love with. The little pause when he slips away to pump is really no big deal and, really, he can last as long as I need him to. yeah
Any woman worth your time and who truly loves you should be on your side and do whatever it takes to get your relationship back to some form of normalcy. Otherwise, and I hope I don't offend, she is being very selfish.

Welcome swellborn. He is indeed lucky to have you as a partner in fighting this dread disease just as I and many others on this forum rely on our loving partners to help us fight the good fight.

LupronJim
Posted 10/27/2013 10:44 PM (GMT 0)
Hi and thank you for the welcome. Here's a little background. I am a 54 year old elementary school music teacher and my guy is 60 and manages a machine shop. We have been together for over 4 years and are planning to get married soon. We are both widowed. My late husband died of colon cancer and his late wife died of complications from rumatoid arthritis treatments.
He was diagnosed with PC in 2012 and had the DaVinci rp in November of 2012 so we are now nearing 1 year post surgery.
His post surgical biopsy gave him a Gleason 6 in one small tumor with clear margins. I don't have the report so I'm going by memory and my limited understanding of the report at the time I saw it. The surgeon said his prognosis is very good and his follow-up PSA tests have been 0.
He is fully continent but the ED is there even with drugs. He can get about half mast with Viagra so there is progress. The pump works well for us at this time. We still both hope for improvement in that area, but our love life is good despite this "inconvenience."
I am relieved that he is doing well and appears to be cured, but I will always be uneasy when it's time for another PSA test.
I wish everyone the best on this board and look forward to sharing experiences with you.
Posted 10/27/2013 11:02 PM (GMT 0)
Welcome to our corner of the world. Sorry you need to be here but it's a good place to be.

Hopefully the ED will improve a bit over time. It's very possible that he'll only ever need the surgery and the PC thing is now gone.

The PSA tests always generate a bit of anxiety. Keep us updated on the next result. We love to cheer low numbers and agonize when the tests isn't what we want.
Andrew
Posted 10/28/2013 8:18 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you Andrew. I will definitely post follow-up PSA's. I've been lurking a while and learning a lot from this site. I am at war with any cancer. I lost my husband to cancer and now my new guy has been attacked by cancer, so this is personal.
Posted 10/28/2013 9:25 PM (GMT 0)
Hello, Swelborn and welcome to Healing Well. With those stats there is a high likelihood that your guy is cured and we will all hope he gets a lifetime of zeros.

He is still not quite a year out so the ED issues will hopefully continue to improve. If not, there are lots of men and women here who can provide suggestions. Good luck and we hope you stick with us.

Jim
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