Jazzed,
I'm so sorry that you're caught between a rock and a hard place.
Seeing from your signature that there was cancer at the bladder neck, I wouldn't be surprised that your surgeon had to cut it close there and wasn't able to fully preserve it, perhaps with damage to the internal sphincter. It sounds like you are doing all that you can with the PT and kegels, which will with time give you better control of the external sphincter at the pelvic floor.
The positive margin at the bladder neck with Gleason 4, and the presence of tertiary Gleason 5 means that there is risk in waiting. Perhaps your doctor will want to start you on ADT now, which might prevent further cancer growth and might give you a few more months to recover continence before beginning adjuvant radiation.
Perhaps you can talk to your doctor about
adding pelvic floor electrical stimulation and biofeedback to your regimen to hasten the recovery process. In one study, adding these techniques and beginning them soon after catheter removal hastened continence recovery, with 63% of men regaining continence after just 4 weeks, compared to 30% among men instructed to do pelvic floor muscle exercises. Another study that started after a year of incontinence showed no incremental improvement to biofeedback and electrical stimulation, so it may be that starting early is important.
Here's the study:
Early Recovery of Urinary Continence After Radical Prostatectomy Using Early Pelvic Floor Electrical Stimulation and Biofeedback Associated Treatment- Allen