Does your doctor genuinely care how you do?

Having just read English Roger's "Disgusted by Doctor" thread, it seemed like a good lead-in to starting a thread on: Does your doctor genuinely care how you do?

This question grew out of a conversation I had recently with my older son Jeff following a routine physical exam he just had with his GP upon turning 40. (Yes, he had a PSA test as part of it, and his result was within normal limits for his age! WOOHOO!)

When talking about his physical, however, we got on the subject of physicians in general, and the discussion turned to the manner and attitudes of physicians, especially when they are giving physical examinations.

Jeff commented that his GP who had given him the physical was certainly competent, and knew how to conduct a good physical exam, etc. But then Jeff added that his doctor did seem a bit aloof, mechanical and distant, almost robotic. He added that this didn't particularly bother him, but that he did indeed notice it.

I then mentioned to Jeff that my own uro (the one who did my TURP and that I still go to) is just the opposite, and seems genuinely happy, even delighted, whenever I get a good PSA result, or make good progress in some other way. I am convinced that the man honestly cares about his patients and is genuinely pleased when he sees one of them make progress.

So, how would you rate your own physicians(s) in this area? Or are you not concerned, as long as your physician does a good job as a doctor? (Poll is above).

(P.S. Speaking of robotic, for some reason I just got this wild image in my head of the possible administering of medical physicals in the future, with actual robots performing them.

I...AM...XJ372...UNIT...I...WILL...BE...CONDUCTING...YOUR...
PHYSICAL...EXAM...WILL...YOU…PLEASE…BEND…OVER…SIR…
THIS…WON'T…HURT…A…BIT

Oh wow, talk about Brave New World!)

I have always felt that my current PCP doctor truly cares that I have the best possible heath and heath care. I've had her email me when it's time for routine blood tests, call me on the phone when test results suggested bad things that needed immediate attention and even had her call my other doctors to make sure I was getting the right treatment.

I do find a few docs from time to time that are just "medical technicians" more interested in the disease than the patient but at my clinic I've found that to be the exception rather than the rule.

and oddly enough, I've found that at my hospital I get better treated by the doctors than the nurses. The nurse at my hospital seem aloof and mostly interesting in making sure all the forms are filled out right. Their most common phrase is, "The doctor will talk to you about that," and "strip from the waist down, the doctor will be here shortly."


Andrew

I have relatives in the medical field who helped me find the best possible surgeon. I could tell immediately that their recommendation was spot on. He is very matter of fact, confident, and a bit of a perfectionist, and most importantly he has the best negative margins stats in the area. He tells it like it is and yet doesn't dismiss your fears and concerns. I know he was the best possible choice for me.

Tom

My primary care Dr. is a very thorough and caring person but my two RO’s are a different story altogether. They booth are very thorough but I find them to be very cold people.
My take is that they deal with devastation and death on a daily basis and need to insulate themselves from it.

John T:

You make a very good point. We all have a devastating illness and we need caring, compassionate practitioners. But that can often blur our vision and disguise incompetence.

Mel

Yes.

And to JohnT: there's no reason you can't have a competent doctor and one that has good compassion and people skills at the same time. They are out there.

My oncologist is the perfect combination of skill/care. No complaints. I also view a doctor on how much time he's willing to spend with a patient. My average visit with him is one hour of face time. I have had 1 1/2 hour visits with him, I believe the shortest ever in 3 years was 45 minutes. He really cares about how I am feeling and doing, and is always thinking of ways to help with my diminished quality of life.

He's answers e-mails regularly with me, usually the same day, but never more than 24 hours later. If he's tied up, he will answer through his personal nurse, who is a great person too. Couldn't count how many times he's randomly called me at home, just to see how I am doing or if I need any med changes.

So far, my newly assigned VA doctor, part of my new medical team, seems to have the same level of communication with me. Gotten calls from him at home too. Now he's more like a PCP doctor, not a specialist like my oncologist.

In my visits so far with the Neurologist, he's a good mix of skill and people skills, and is never in a hurry to rush me through a visit.

To be fair, and I ask this as a generic question (not to any member in particular). But how do you treat your time with your doctor? Do you come prepared, with questions to ask and notes to take? Do you treat the doctor with the respect that a professional deserves? To me, it works both ways. Some patients have terrible attitudes and are just plain desprectful.

David

The doctors seem to fade back after you have been diagnosed with a terminal illness...Most Oncologists have so many patients, you become just a number, a file entry....If YOU take little interest in directing your treatment, don't expect them to take the lead and seek out advanced treatments and programs for you..You'll get the standard course of treatment and we will see you again in three months....

My rad onco was always very interested in me as he asked questions unrelated to my case and spent a good deal of time with me on our visits. Even apologized once if I felt like a lab rat. Told him if it helped another keep going.

My uro was a bit more aloof and tended to avoid the tough discussions. Even so, I liked his "just the facts" approach and eschewing conjecture on the future.

My GP was a dud. Guy did not listen, studied his computer and even cut me off once to tell me he was very busy. So, I asked "what is your diagnosis". He had not been listening so I let things hang in silence until he asked me to repeat. Both of us were red faced but I think for different reasons.

My cardiologist was the best. Great guy and we often spent more time BSing than talking about my case as I was not having any issues at the time.

Whole new set of docs now as I moved about a year ago. So far, all seem to be pleasant enough and capable. Time will tell.

Don

I talked to lots of ROs and surgeons before picking a treatment plan. The surgeon I eventually picked is very busy and very much in demand. He hasn't been holding my hand every step of the way, but he has responded to every single request or issue that I've raised. I sent a question to him via a patient portal last week, asking about trying out an injectable ED drug, and I got a very nice note back. It was a note saying that not only would it would be fine, but encouraging me to do it, saying that he thought my long term potency would benefit from using the TriMix. He cc'd his nurse to have her take care of everything, and I've now got a script for TriMix at the local compounding pharmacy and an appointment this week to learn how to inject it.

At my post-surgery appointment, he had a nurse remove the catheter and do the urine testing, but he also spent enough time with me to follow up on everything. I think he walks the line pretty well, considering how busy he is.

I went to the hospital where my surgeon operates most of the time, and asked around. I was sent to the Volunteer desk, where everyone there was enthusiastic about him. They called a couple of surgery nurses who were in the coffee shop, equal enthusiasm. Then it turned out that the majority of the women and all of the guys had had him at one point or another as a surgeon, and all were there as volunteers because of their experiences.