How to handle relatives who thrive on medical dramas?

PeterDA You wrote "The one fear that is overblown -- the one place where I can offer reassurance -- is in the case of the fear of how embarrassing it will be if his blabbermouth mom tells everyone in town he has prostate cancer."

Actually, self employed guys do have a justifiable fear of letting that info out. That gossip could place their business in jeopardy.
Their next contract might be given to someone else because the customer might think he cannot do the work. Of course they would not be so overt as to admit it. We already know of a couple of guys who know their competition would tell potential customers to avoid cancer boy since he will be preoccupied with his treatment and recovery. (Not entirely untrue - said by a cancer boy himself)
It is the guys either retired, working for government, schools or big companies who are open to spreading the news.
Single guys and self employed... not so much.
Jeff

Jeff,

In my first comment on this thread,

the first thing that I said...
was "If you are trying to keep your surgery a close-kept secret for any important reason -- public knowledge might harm your business being a common example -- then you can't tell your mom because she can't keep a secret. If, on the other hand..."

So I am not talking about "cancer boy" whose business might be hurt. That is legit.

What I am talking about is men with cancer who are so afraid of simple embarrassment that they have to deal with the disease entirely alone, with no one to talk to about their cancer, their plans to deal with it, and their worries.

Thanks for the advice logoslidat.

At times this thread took a little different direction than I imagined. I fully realize that this issue isn't close to what some on this forum are facing. But those who are on that difficult road usually started where I am now, so perhaps some things bother me that would usually slide off my back. Basically, I just wanted a little friendly advice and perhaps relate a little with some who have had a similar experience. Most of you did that and thank you.

I like everything clock nut said, except, tho senility is the cause in some folks, there are folks who never grow out of their need for attention, which btw is not the same as sharing themselves with other, tho as in everything there is a fine line that can be crossed and most folks cross it now and then. I mean anyone want to volunteer as an example as one who doesn't? You are welcome dreamerboy and listen to an older big band hit from the day. "Dream" "…things never are as bad as they seem", which kinda brings us full circle in the spectrum of advice on this thread.

DreamerBoy,

I guess we are all different. I don't mind other people knowing that "I had" prostate cancer; its just the way I see the world.

My experience after telling people were quite positive. I told my wife before she went to church that the URO had called to say I had cancer. The church was a great support to her and me.

Once the wider community knew, I had calls from well wishers. One young fellow travelled 200km to install UV sheeting on my bedroom windows. So I could still lie in bed and view the world outside without suffering Australia's heat. The others moved the recliner into my bedroom (just little things); and the TV guy installed cable all in readiness for me when I returned from Hospital.

Since the words gotten round that I had and is still dealing with the disease, a few people have come to support us regularly whilst others came for a chat. In my case once I had the RP, the help from others (even strangers) were invaluable.

Of course we all have the right to privacy, and If I suspect that I would get bad consequences from telling others I might not do so; but then again my experience has been mostly good.I've also had very sincere people tell what alternative methods they've used, which ranged from Kankung (water crest) to drinking pomegranate juice.

Lastly, I want my prostate back... But I know that's not possible. There is no point in wanting things that I cant get, it just causes unnecessary stress and anxiety. Most of us post op wanted No ED, No Incontinence but thats what most of us got. So rather than wanting everything to be OK on the day I had my catheter removed, I let the day unfold.

My first toilet visit after the catheter came out was rather eventful, I pee'ed on everything. Rather than stress over it, because I wanted things to be good, my wife and I just laughed because it was the first day of my "new normal". There is a joy in letting the day unfold because I knew then and today that I'm OK - my old Christian faith!

All the best to you too, DreamerBoy!
.

The visual of that congregation in the small emergency room is priceless. It would make a great cartoon, you would never know if the look on the patients face was from the constipation or the congregation!!

I do have to say they were certainly good singers, it just wasn't the place. I understand some people's needs during illness vary but jeez can't you wait until you are actually admitted and know you may be there for a while?

An ER visit isn't the place for that unless its a very serious life threatening event. Then we have special rooms for the families to gather in for comfort and privacy.

ROFL! I am a leave me alone kind of person when sick in any way..... I am with you when you say it would be torture. The woman was also reveling in the attention as well... Not sure if she told everyone it was much more serious than it was or not but hey HIPPA.... We just smiled and tried to cram in there to do our jobs.

Ask for a bedpan, blow a few farts, and see what they do.