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Posted 11/18/2014 3:40 AM (GMT 0)
I've never responded to him, but followed. Has anyone heard how he's doing? He hasn't posted here in awhile. Thanks.
Posted 11/18/2014 4:17 AM (GMT 0)
This is the last thread he started

https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=35&m=3241654
Posted 11/18/2014 6:33 AM (GMT 0)
you could also email David. you can get his address from his profile.

ed
Posted 5/14/2017 7:30 AM (GMT 0)
Hello ~ I haven't been around for awhile and was wondering if anyone has heard from Purgatory? Any news from An?

Happy Mother's Day to all the special ladies in our lives!
Posted 5/14/2017 2:51 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Aimzee,

Saw my name in your post.
Paul is doing well, last PSA reading in March was 0.02, stable.
Nothing to report really, we are busy and racing around a bit too much, but generally enjoying life.
Hope Ron is doing better with his issues.

David doesn't post as much as he used to, he has a lot of medical issues on his plate and because they are not PC related I imagine that most of us don't understand the breadth of what he is going through.

Hope you are well...
An
Posted 5/15/2017 11:46 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for asking

Getting ready to start a 3 day a week Intensive Outpatient Program for the PTSD with the VA. They recently re-evaluated my condition as critical and serious after over 7 months of weekly therapy. Next step if this doesn't work unfortunately will be in-patient care. Just can't shake the deep depression and the PTSD going on at the same time.

Later this month, finally get to see a new neurology team, as the shaking has extended to my legs, mouth and jaw, and even my upper body at time.

It's still a rough ride, won't bore with all the details. May 10th was a magic number for me, surprised I am still here. I honestly thought that was it for me.

Appreciate those asking about me, and your concern. I know I am not much use to those here any more. Hard to believe I ever clocked up over 25K posts here in the past. Many more people with knowledge here these days to make up the slack.
Posted 5/16/2017 1:00 AM (GMT 0)
Hang in there Dave, we are all pulling for you....
Posted 5/16/2017 1:02 AM (GMT 0)
Hello David,

So good to hear from you. Hope your new therapy will work some magic and you will begin to feel better. I never correct anyone here, but I must say that you are so wrong when you say that you are not much use to anyone here - you are an inspiration to so many facing very difficult medical situations. Best of luck in this new treatment - Suzanne
Posted 5/16/2017 1:46 AM (GMT 0)
Never been the same since my PC dx in 2008. At first, no big deal, another surgery, I would tough it out and get on with my life. Boy, was I wrong - with all the set-backs, side effects, damage from treatments, etc - nearly 9 years later, just a shell of who I use to be.

Not like I don't try to help myself, been in cancer rehab for over 6 years, rarely missing a session. The VA has become a 2nd home to me.

I survive, yes, but I can no longer feel joy or happiness in anything else in my life. I just go through the motions. Almost 7 years of continuous severe chronic pain doesn't do much for ones mind either.

It's hard at times not to feel like this is some kind of deserved punishment, to coin my own name, a type of purgatory. But I don't know what I did to deserve it. Just a regular run of the meal sinner, nothing special.

I still enjoy reading stories here of those winning the fight. Never makes me jealous, just glad for the person in question.

I have so much wrong going on in my body and mind, the good part, is that I rarely think about the fact that I am still dealing with Stage III metastatic prostate cancer. I have no intentions of fighting it whenever mets raise their ugly head, my wife backs that decision.

My quality of life is so low, have no interest in doing anything palliative just to do short time life extension. Don't expect anyone to agree or follow my example. Personal choice.

As a 4x cancer survivor, I have learned a lot over the years. You have to pick your fights and battles.
Posted 5/16/2017 2:01 AM (GMT 0)
Sorry you are feeling so low, David. I know you are fighting with everything you have just to keep it together as much as you do. Hopefully the bit of "intensive outpatient" will give you back some joy in a corner or two of life. If you ever need to talk more one on one feel free to drop me an email - I certainly understand whatever choices you make with the limited options available. (I know typing has gotten difficult, can be available by phone on request.) It's your life, your choice, and while I may (or not) choose differently for myself I will always, always, defend your right to make your choices without criticism or judgement.

Peace.
Posted 5/16/2017 2:27 AM (GMT 0)
thanks lynn

hands not as shaky tonight, so thought I would take advantage.

I virtually can no longer text and most aps on my phone are too hard to work with my fingers. Another hard one is using my debit card, putting in my PIN. I get real self conscious in stores.

My voice oddly, is losing more and more volume or projection. I can't tell on my end, but others had to keep asking me to repeat stuff, or to try to talk louder. Was always known to have a strong clear voice.

The shaking, the voice bit and my frozen shoulder are potential signs of Parkinson's. Really hoping to not having to deal with that. Whatever it is, things are worsening, and it appears to be neurological in nature.

Despite it all, I still see and know people way worse off than me. My 26 year old DIL has the worse level possible of Chrohn's. My daughter suffers from an ultra rare disorder, where childbirth would likely be fatal to her, something she was born with, but wasn't known or dx'd until she was about 25.

No one says life has to be fair
Posted 5/16/2017 1:14 PM (GMT 0)
Mrs. George said regarding Purgatory:

"… I never correct anyone here, but I must say that you are so wrong when you say that you are not much use to anyone here - you are an inspiration to so many facing very difficult medical situations."

I can only add "Amen" to that. It is so often the case that we all have a much more profound an impact on those around us than we ourselves ever realize, and that has certainly been the case with you, David.

It's the stone tossed into the pond thing. The ripples just keep expanding outward, affecting everything in their path. The input you have given to this forum has been like that.

As for whether or not we "deserve" the things that happen to us, and why some of us have to travel a rougher road than others, no one has yet come up with a satisfactory answer to that question, not even the philosophers.

So much of the formal philosophy about it seem to revolve around the observation that we "can't enjoy or appreciate the good unless we also experience the bad." Or, from an Eastern slant, because Purgatory is having a rough run of it in this life, karma will see to it that his next one is going to be pretty okay. Just two of the possibilities. You can take your pick among the philosophies.

But one thing does seem to come through, regardless of philosophical outlook: the strength and character of the individual. And for that, you have presented yourself as an extraordinary example, David.
Posted 5/16/2017 1:46 PM (GMT 0)
Punishment is handed out without regard for whether it is deserved or not. You have been going through a lot more than anyone should have to endure, but it's just random. I've always been more fortunate than I deserve. Except for this PC thing I have going on now. 25K posts means you have been fighting off the beast for a long time. Congratulations on that!
Posted 5/16/2017 4:32 PM (GMT 0)
David,
I'm sorry you are going through all this. You have not been dealt the best of hands.

I have to smile when I think about the GFMPH gathering where we exploded your old catheter leg and overnight bags. Wow! That was loud. Sonny still talks about how the concussion from the large overnight bag rocked his giant camper parked 50 yards away. I'm pretty certain there are pieces of that bag orbiting the Earth as we speak. ;-)
You were there in spirit.
Take it easy,
Jeff
Posted 5/17/2017 9:33 PM (GMT 0)
David,
just want to echo what 81gyguy already stated so nicely, you are extraordinary. Many of us have looked at your journey to find our own strength. Praying for you my Brother,
Keep the faith!
Wings aka Dan in So Cal
If I multiply my posts by 50 times, I'll be right there with you, you all time poster man! that is amazing ,indeed!
Posted 5/18/2017 9:25 PM (GMT 0)
Purgatory,
I have read things that you have posted and the one above. First of all Iam guessing your a veteran for that alone I thank you for your service to our country. Second there are times I want to throw in the towel and dump my zytiga and sit and wait. I have plenty of oxy so they "take the edge off" my bone pain. But how can I give up when I read your post. You encourage me to keep going one foot after the other, for that I again thank you. As Wings said Keep the faith cause that is all we can hold on to. We all hate our cancer but one day at a time, my friend. Again Wings is right about prayer, if you are a believer a believe in a high power, I believe in God, we all need to pray for each other
Posted 5/19/2017 1:11 AM (GMT 0)
island - thanks for your thoughts

81, thanks, you put a lot into your words in this particular case


fiddle, thanks as well

worried, I had forgotten about the blowing up my cath bag, too bad I wasn't there, but great memory. for those new, after surgery, I spent a total of 1 1/2 years on catheters, due to endless strictures, and later, due to extensive radiation damage. prior to my Urostomy surgery, I spent 51 weeks straight with a Suprapubic cath.

wings, thanks too

Thomas, thanks and good luck to you. for pain, I am on Fentanyl patch (100 mgm. swapped 48 hours) for primary pain and Oxy 10 for breakthrough pain.
Posted 5/20/2017 6:16 AM (GMT 0)
David, thank you for the update. You have such amazing courage....I just don't know how you do it. I certainly can echo the feelings of wondering what I did to deserve the things that have happened to me over the years. So many times it seems I wind up on the wrong side and the luck rarely goes my way. My bad luck continues with severe incontinence due to radiation damage. Currently awaiting AUS surgery. But sometimes good luck comes when I am not looking. Last check up Uro commented that I am way ahead of the curve as a result of SRT. He actually said he didn't expect me to be in remission after having SRT apparently because the odds were not in my favor. That sent a shiver down my spine and really gave me a new perspective. I can only hope and wish something like that can happen for you too because you certainly deserve it.
Posted 5/20/2017 2:49 PM (GMT 0)
So, we all are here again. An, I am happy for your husband. YAY! Ron's PSA is the same as Paul's - so everything is good in that department.

David, I am sadden by your deep depression and horrible pain. Just meeting you here has been a good experience for both of us. You remain an inspiration to all of us. Ron let's pain pass as he remembers what you are going through. For him, the intensity still varies from day to day. He is most fortunate that the pain killers still work. No trace of cancer - thank God. Please know you remain in our thoughts and prayers.

Hugs,
Aimzee
Posted 5/20/2017 2:56 PM (GMT 0)
Island Time, I think you're Dave, right? Over the years there have been various threads dealing with severe depression, so please know you are not alone. There is support here. What you need to figure out is what things bring a bit of brightness into your life. Maybe a favorite sports team? There are many who care and we wish you the best. Is it possible your doctor can give you something to help you along? Prayers coming your way.
Posted 6/26/2017 4:41 AM (GMT 0)
Been 'coming by' reading posts, 'specially checking on you, as well as a few others..

Keep you in prayers..
Posted 6/26/2017 2:32 PM (GMT 0)
David, all all who have posted....thanks.

As a newbe, new to the journey, your stories of courage make it impossible for me to feel sorry for myself.
Posted 8/4/2017 2:06 PM (GMT 0)
Hi David, just coming by for an update. I hope you're not experiencing great pain. Ron and I think of you often. I was thinking about the August, 2010 thread where we all posted together. Thinking about your health and quality of life. Take care. *HUGS*
Posted 8/4/2017 7:35 PM (GMT 0)
From David's profile:

Last Seen : Yesterday 7:03 PM

So he is at least stopping by. Hope he's OK.
Posted 8/5/2017 5:14 AM (GMT 0)
I have stage 4 with mets and would trade you for your stage 3 any day. Keep your head up dude and shake off the depression the best you can. I have bad days but mostly good. Keep your head up soldier and do not give up the fight
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