Reliving the Nightmare...a mini-vent

I am in one if my "I hate this crap" moods. I always hate this garbage, but usually I don't let it get to me.

But I am in one of those rare Deja Vu situations. Actually, another bite of the apple long after I thought that apple ship had sailed.

Five years ago, I agonized over the biopsy, then choice of tx., etc. You all know the drill. Well, obviously I chose to fail surgery and then chose to fail SRT. I then chose HT. (Isn't it wonderful to CHOOSE all these delightful things). Ok, HT did great (SE no fun at all, however). I got to go intermittant. Got off HT. T went back up and so did the PSA. So I am now back on HT, but before that (last month) I went to Mayo and did the C11 Choline scan. It found the PC in one external illiaac pelvic node. So, all of a sudden, I got a very slim chance at a "cure." (Alias reasonable long remission). So, what to do?

Here's the Deja Vu part. I have had to research surgery and radiation possibilities. The latter includes IMRT vs. SBRT. Once again, I had to consult with a surgeon, medical oncologist (3 of them before I'm done) and RO (2 of them). I ended up not consulting with the surgeon.

I still have to meet with Dr. Lam on 12/31. But it looks like this time I will go the IMRT route. Meanwhile, I have those who will push for doing nothing, just doing HT, doing IMRT, and doing SBRT. There are advocates for every choice. I will also have to juggle work and scheduling stuff. Also, where to do the radiation if I choose that. I am currently leaning to doing just the HT until my semester ends in early May and then doing the IMRT at Umich., which is 2 hours away (I'll just move there during the week for 6 weeks).

Anyway, this indeed feels like a replay of my PC nightmare of 5 years ago. I HATE THIS.

VENT OVER

Mel

Sorry Mel, it seems like Pca is the gift that keeps on giving for a number of us....in addition to what you are dealing with, as you know, I ended up with Rectal Cancer from the SRT.....had 12 inches of intestine removed then a year later a liver met from the rectal cancer. It was removed successfully on Oct 23rd .Now I am back on mop up chemo that makes HT look like a walk in the park. So let me join your rant Pca sucks big time. However I am still on the North side of the dirt so that is good.
Terry

compiler said...
I am in one if my "I hate this crap" moods. I always hate this garbage, but usually I don't let it get to me.

But I am in one of those rare Deja Vu situations.............. Meanwhile, I have those who will push for doing nothing, just doing HT, doing IMRT, and doing SBRT. There are advocates for every choice. I will also have to juggle work and scheduling stuff. Also, where to do the radiation if I choose that.......................
Anyway, this indeed feels like a replay of my PC nightmare of 5 years ago. I HATE THIS.

VENT OVER

Mel

Yep. You have well said what most of us here have either been through or are dreading going through. If we are not in a Deja Vu moment right now, every one of us, no matter which treatment we chose and how lucky(or NOT) we think we got with that choice, we all know that we might be doing it all again down the road.

And there you are with all of those consultations with all of those experts, with very smart advocates for each choice (though rarely an expert in all areas with no bias), but when it comes down to it YOU, the layman with an emotional stake in the outcome, still have to make the choice out of all of the possibilities. Wow, what fun!

Sorry Mel, I hate it for you, Brother! I do see this one possibly happy element in your vent:
"So, all of a sudden, I got a very slim chance at a "cure." (Alias reasonable long remission)." Hooray for that possibility! But right after that you have " So, what to do?" . Who the heck knows? Not me. Probably not you, not for sure anyway. And as far as the big experts, well it depends on who you ask, doesn't it?
Bill in MS

I like the part of your rant that said cure or long-term remission...

Hope you can hold on to that part when it all is too much.

Lisa

Dude:

Thanks for your kind comment and also for the email.

As I replied via email, I think I've done enough consultations. Besides my local family doctor, oncologist, and urologist, I see Dr. Hussain at Umich and of course my main guy is Dr. Lam. I also consulted with Dr. Kwon at Mayo where I did the C-11 Choline scan. So, I've seen some of the best.

I have nothing against Hopkins. They have a superb reputation. I've been a very strident advocate for going to see quality medicos. I have counseled folks to go to the better places and get second and even third opinions.

Additionally, one gets plenty of opinions from the good folks here on HW.

I've reached my limit on opinions. After I see Dr. Lam on 12/31, I'll finalize my plans

Mel

I think you're a pillar of this community, Mel. Now it's time to kick its @$$ once and for all.

Mel,

Sorry to read that you're having (understandably) a hard time. Take care, hang in there, and keep in touch with us about your progress.