Lightening Strikes Twice - Post Surgery

Hi Guys:

For those unaware, I was on Healing Well from 2007-2013 for my husband Greg. He had a rising PSA post Da Vinci surgery and was facing radiation surgery in the future. Sadly he died suddenly from a heart attack in 2013.

Fast forward a year and half through horrific grief. I reconnect with a high school classmate and start dating slowly. In the meantime his physician tells him to get a repeat PSA, as his was 4.2.

Biopsy was positive, Gleason was 6 (results exactly the same as Greg's)

Tim's sister is an RN in pre-post op of a local hospital and steers Tim to a urologist who recommends Da Vinci.

After posting most of this on healing well, I am advised to highly suggest other treatments as surgery's side effects are not always desirable. I call a sit down meeting with Tim and his sister to discuss life altering side effects and point out even if Sister thinks this urologist is wonderful, she is not in the exam room 3, 6, 12 months later to find out when his patients are still having issues with ED or incontinence. Tim expresses appreciation for my concerns, but states he has had months to settle this in his mind and he just wants to go ahead and have the surgery.

Surgery was 4-14, he did fine with it. No pain meds needed after going home the day after surgery. He found it more comfortable to sleep on his couch rather than in his bed, but that is a very minor issue. Catheter was removed one week later. He went back to work after the catheter was out.

Pathology report: Prostatic adenocarcinoma, Gleason Grade 3+3 = 6.
Percent of prostate involved with tumor 3%.
Blue inked anterior/base margin focally positive.
Left and right pelvic lymph nodes negative for cancer.
Primary tumor pT2c

The Dr. said he felt the margin was positive due to spillover when the prostate was opened. He did not feel it was a concern.

Tim goes back to the Dr. for a one month visit next week and will have a PSA done in 2 more months.

Tim was given Cialysis to help things along, although he had not needed this medication prior to surgery.

Here are the side effects so far: Tim is not cleared for any sexual activity yet, we were pleased that just doing some lengthy kissing showed that E.D. was not going to be an issue. Now the other issue - Tim has woken up three times post op soaking wet from urine. Even though he is being careful to do Kegal exercises, limit fluids at night and emptying his bladder before bedtime and anytime he wakes up during the night. I don't think he has had any issues when he is awake.

I am grateful I have walked this walk before and knew what to expect and how to support him. I am also glad he and I are able to talk about ANYTHING so we can discuss these issues. I suffer from stress incontinence and this has given Tim a new appreciation for my problem with that.

Can anyone give us thoughts on whether his night time incontinence will dissipate?

Thank you for your kindness, support and wisdom.

MrsGFM - I too saw my nighttime continence resolve first. I am now what I would consider fully continent. Still though, there have been 2 instances in the not too distant past where I woke in the morning and my briefs were pretty wet. And even last night, I woke this morning with some dampness. It happens just once in a while, but it seems to happen less and less as time goes on.

If he limits his fluid intake after say, 8PM, and continues to do his Kegels, I'm guessing it will all resolve over time

I found that there are two parts to the continence recovery. One is absolutely physical. Things have to heal and get stronger to hold things back. That process takes some time. Nighttime continence came back for me first also. Then the other side is mental. I finally chose to stop wearing the shields most days, and decided that the occasional drip wasn't any worse than the occasional drips I had pre-surgery. They just happen at different times for different reasons.