The "things could be worse" attitude: effective coping strategy?

We've all heard that phrase Well things could be worse, usually uttered as an attempt to elevate one's mood, a mood that has become pretty depressed in view of one's current situation.

But how effective a coping mechanism is it, really? If used, does it really make any of us feel any better, to contemplate something even more difficult than our present circumstances, and then somehow draw comfort from the fact that we really are not (we suppose) as bad off as cousin Joe, who slipped on the ice and threw out his sacroiliac?

For an expression that's been around for ages, it gets a lot of use, but does it really help our psychological state of mind that much? Would it not be better just to accept our current condition without an attempt to make thing seem somehow better than they are by employing this kind of curious comparison to the worse situation of others, or to a potentially worse situation for ourselves?

Hence the above survey, to gauge feeling on just how much of a difference (if any) "could be worse" thinking does for people. Personally, I don't do it, as it has never picked me up to think I'm somehow going to feel better simply because it would be possible under slightly changed circumstances for me to be experiencing something so much worse than I am experiencing now.

However, maybe it does work for some people. Hey, whatever floats your boat. So whatever your take on this, please do vote in the survey above and then tell us why "could be worse" thinking works for you (or does not).

Should be an interesting discussion.

One of my favorite books is Happiness is a Serious Problem, by Dennis Prager. A big takeaway for me is how important gratitude is towards a person being happy. It seems to me that "It could be worse" is a corollary to that thought. It is not that one should take pleasure in not being in less fortunate circumstances per se; frankly having expectations and making comparisons is more likely to be detrimental to being happy. But being grateful for the circumstances you are in and finding the opportunity to enjoy life can make you happier. Prager says it better and it is a very easy read.

It is time for me to go walk the dog now. We can't go as far as we used to, but it is a gorgeous day and I can't wait to see how he is going to enjoy sniffing at whatever he does find. It could be worse and someday maybe we won't be able to go at all, but today we are going out to have a great day.

Yes, I think that had I not been diagnosed when I was and not had my prostate removed ... I could have faced far more serious consequences. I didn't flinch when I received the diagnosis and I haven't looked-back or second-guessed since. I could have been worse. Definitely.

One of my mates diagnosed with PC many years ago recounted to me the first comment by his doctor regarding his condition. Along the lines of "you did not buy this at the corner store".

Reading the posts on the forum and having many family members who have succumbed to different forms of cancer then it’s clear we all have to fight an individual battle. It seems to me there are no ground rules as in reality there are no lasting cures. We have our treatments, sometimes over many years with differing side effects for us all. Then comes the 3, 6 or 12 monthly PSA test and the thoughts of what happens next?

For me it is at times a lonely battle. Even with the most supportive partner (which I have) I always think it’s hard for none cancer patients to understand what truly goes through your mind. I find that when out for a run or walking the dog solitude brings reflection. It’s about taking each hurdle as it comes and enjoying life to the max.

The Forum provides a very valuable support mechanism (for me) as you can relate to pretty well all of the comments.

I've found a Stoic philosophy has helped me quite a bit. The philosophy does have a gratitude component but mostly it is just accepting and coming to peace with what is beyond our control. For anyone willing to explore this philosophy, "A Guide to the Good Life, The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy" is a good primer.

www.amazon.ca/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/0195374614

I like to think of myself as a "It is what it is" kind of guy with a dash of "things could be worse."

And if all else fails:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."