Survivor's Guilt: EXPERIENCES ?

Being a veteran, I am okay with the "battle brothers" metaphor. I like my brain thinking I am in a war and I am bringing in the big guns to win the battles and ultimately the war on the cancer inside. Yes, all these metaphors can be overused but for me, so be it. To me, I am not yet a survivor, I am in treatment and the war rages on. Heading back to the front lines... -JR

I think each of us has to put our disease into a context that works in our head. To find words to describe something that really cannot be defined. We, each of us, come into our situation with previous baggage, and we apply what we know to this strange, unknown thing we are all dealing with.

For some, the battlefield metaphors work--I would think they are particularly apt for those with high risk cases--where the fight for every day of life "after" is real and ongoing. To you guys, I can observe, I can help as I am able, but at a certain level I really can't relate. Yes, we have the same disease, but no, in another way, we don't.

For me, I do prefer the perspective that I have a Disease. In fact, I've had the "big C" diagnosed in my body twice now. Both times, however, I chose a treatment, and except for regular checks to make sure it's not reappearing, I can call myself cured. I'm not a survivor, for to be a survivor, one has to be a victim first. I did not choose this disease, a combination of factors gave it to me. None of us chose it. No one ever woke up one morning and said, "I think I'll see what I can do to make sure I develop cancer".

I have all the respect in the world for those who are, and who have, struggled mightily with cancers. For many, the fact that they are alive at all 5 years, 10 years, or longer after diagnosis is amazing. For those, I see one common trait that we see in our friend Todd: An embrace of life, and living to the fullest because of the realization that in truth, Today, Now, is all any of us have. And I can learn from that attitude.

Guilt? No. Discomfort with the labels that others would display on us? Yeah.

Though I'm no longer interested in prolonging this discussion, I did find this article on the topic that may be of interest. Cancer patients can and do deal with this, whether or not "guilt" is the best word for the emotion or not.

www.cancertodaymag.org/Summer2016/Pages/Weakening-the-Grip-of-Survivor-Guilt.aspx

This thread aggravated me so deeply, I'm going to be away from this forum for a while. My overall frustration level in so many areas of life has reached a peak, and I can't stand it anymore. Something has to change. I can eliminate some sources of frustration, and not others. So I'm walking away from the frustrations that I visit on myself, this forum being an example all too often.

Someone please welcome the G9 folks that arrive in the meantime. I'll probably be back in a while.