Posted 9/13/2017 6:38 PM (GMT 0)
Today is the anniversary of my RALP. Amazing how the time flies by as I get older. As someone said on a recent post, progress post-surgery is non-linear, and I think that’s some of the best advice I’ve taken from this godsend forum. I was relieved last week that my one year post-op PSA test came in as undetectable, but my local uro is keeping a weather eye on me and given my pathology, I can expect quarterly tests for quite a while yet. He’s an old friend and I am glad he’s personally invested in looking after me.
The non-linear stuff has been fairly normal from what I understand. I was probably 90% continent when the catheter came out, but had occasional spurts and sloshes for a couple of months after that. Continence steadily improved, and now I only have infrequent stress incontinence. Just when I’ve gone a week or so with no dribbles and think I’m fully watertight, I’ll cough suddenly or reach for a doorknob, and a few drops emerge, but overall, I’m happy with where I am. I think bourbon at first made me slightly less continent, but thankfully I seem to have adjusted to that. ED is still a significant issue. Sildenafil works reasonably well for me, but neither my wife nor I are big planners in that regard, so mostly it’s chemical-free and a little wobbly, but things seem to improve slowly and unevenly.
The psychological part is the hardest for now. At a year out, I’m fairly sure the PSA risk grows higher, and the pre-test anxiety that so many have described here is palpable and intense. It’s difficult to focus at work for the week (or more) leading up to the blood draw. I try not to dwell on it too much at home. I think it creates a lot more anxiety for my wife than she lets on, and so we try to be strong for each other, without talking about it too much. Keep calm and carry on, they say. It’s hardest to know what to tell my three daughters, and what not to tell them. One is out of school, and two are in college. The youngest was still at home during the diagnosis and all the scans and tests, and because of that, and because her beloved rowing coach was at the same time succumbing to breast cancer, she has taken it the hardest. So I try to deliver information in measured doses so that they don’t get too anxious about all this. But the three of them are good listeners; I try not to burden them too much and try to appear as tough as they think that I am. It’s good to have them as a cheering section.
It’s also a relief to know that I’m not alone, and there’s a great deal of solace in the shared experiences in this space. Halbert, TA, Redwing, Todd1963, Prato and everyone else, thank you for being here for me. I don’t post much at all, but I’m here sometime every day to see how everyone is doing, and get some education and inspiration from you all.