Your frustration is coming through loud and clear, and you are asking many of the right questions. I'd like to give you a pep talk about
patient empowerment. Those good questions are exactly what you should be asking his doctors - that's what the meetings are for. If the doctor doesn't mention a PET scan, it's up to YOU to find out about
it. All key decisions are in your hands, and if you don't speak up, those decisions will be made for you.
You should always go into meetings prepared with questions
in writing. Here are some tips for managing the doctor/patient relationship:
/pcnrv.blogspot.com/2017/12/managing-doctorpatient-relationship.htmlGetting back to the PET scans. The reason I gave you those links is so that you would call them to see if your husband qualifies. you don't have to rely on anyone else to do this - call them yourself. They usually welcome calls from patients.
To address the other points you raised...
The doctor was right to let you know upfront what the odds of success are, and what salvage is possible if it isn't successful. They should also inform you about
the potential side effects of treatment and the approximate odds of those occurring. it's a LOT to take in, so take notes.
The hormone therapy will prevent any further progression for a very long time, probably at least 10 years. But when it is used as part of brachy boost therapy they would only give it for 6 months to a year, probably. Side effects generally are cumulative, so short-term use has fewer side effects. He will probably experience hot flashes and emotional lability while he is on it, and his libido will drop to zero. (very similar to a post-menopausal woman). It's all reversible when he stops taking it, although the reversal will not be instantaneous.
It is true that if he has permanent seeds as part of his therapy, pregnant women, pets, and children should not be in close contact for several weeks. You may wish to sleep apart for that time, although you are not in a vulnerable risk category. There is a different kind of brachytherapy, called "high dose rate brachytherapy" (HDR-BT) where nothing is left inside, so there is no danger of radiation exposure to others. I think Moffitt now offers HDR-BT.
There is one of the world's pioneer (seed) brachytherapy doctors in Florida - John Sylvester at 21st Century Oncology in Bradenton.