I’m so glad you raised these issues John. I’ve felt extremely torn over these very things. But firstly, and most importantly, I hope things continue to improve and progress in the right direction for you. And quite clearly, you have found the right place for help, support and advice!
When I found HW, my hair was on fire. Actually, I was pretty much self-immolated by that time. Neither my partner nor I had ever suffered anything more than a head cold, and we’d certainly never heard the acronym ‘PSA’ before. The Big ‘C’ word absolutely terrified the carp out of us, and we both had vastly different reactions to the news. GG shut down and went into self-preservation mode, while I completely fell apart. If it wasn’t for the sage advice of Tall Allen, and his (at times) stern admonishments to get my sheet together, I’d probably still be wheeling in circles right now. And there were others who were so incredibly kind and welcoming, I just couldn’t believe our luck at finding such an incredible forum and resource. You know who you are!
Since that time, I’ve tried to pay it forward by welcoming and consoling new folk, but my lack of in-depth knowledge regarding PCa often prevents me from saying anything; particularly when metastatic and very high risk men (and their significant others) join up. Some forum members have previously indicated they will only respond to high-risk participants, which also makes me reluctant to speak up, as this has the effect of suggesting HW is a siloed environment. The cradle rocking comment from Island Time is a 100% fair assessment, and case in point here too.
There are also many brilliant regular participants, who (without meaning to, I’m sure), can make you feel somewhat irrelevant.
It could simply be paranoia on my part, but I sense that amongst a certain cohort there lurks some disdain for those of us who aren’t as clever or highly educated, and that a somewhat elitist clique exists, if I dare use that term (although this notion has been fiercely defended in another thread as I vaguely recall).
So please understand my reluctance to jump in - it’s not because I don’t want to give a great big cyber hug to those who have just joined; it’s because I’m about
as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike.
Meantime… I’ll probably still respond to the odd message, but will mainly read. I just hope that doesn’t come across as selfish, or “I’ve taken what I want, now I’m off”, because it’s honestly not like that.
With healing wishes and very best to you all
Jaybee & GG
Post Edited (Jaybee&GG) : 7/4/2018 2:39:39 AM (GMT-6)