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A Few Saturday Tom Swifties

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Posted 8/16/2020 3:40 AM (GMT 0)
"I used to own that copper mine!" Tom exclaimed.
"The sun is setting" Tom said darkly.
"I'll make more desserts" Tom retorted.
"I can't hear anything!" Tom said deftly.
"I'd like to stop by the mausoleum," Tom said cryptically.
"Pass me the shellfish," said Tom crabbily.
"We just struck oil!" Tom gushed.
"Get to the back of the ship!" Tom said sternly.
"I have no flowers," Tom said lackadaisically.
"I forgot what I needed at the store," Tom said listlessly.
"I'd like my money back, and some," said Tom with interest.
"I decided to come back to the group," Tom rejoined.
"I love hot dogs," said Tom with relish.
"If you want me, I shall be in the attic," Tom said, loftily.
"I'd have gotten an A on the paper, but I got knocked down a grade for not turning it in on time", Tom said belatedly.
"I'll have another martini," said Tom dryly.
"Pass me another chip" said Tom crisply.
"I'm wearing a ribbon around my arm," said Tom with abandon.
"Baa," said Tom sheepishly.
"Stay away from that turtle!" Tom snapped.
"I'm throwing this soup on the ground!" said Tom with wanton disregard.
Posted 8/16/2020 11:21 AM (GMT 0)
And if Tom were a Forum member:

"I'm done with my prostate radiation!" Tom beamed.
"I'd better see my urologist," Tom said haltingly.
"My Viagra is kicking in," Tom said expansively.
"And my Flowmax sure is, too!" Tom gushed.
"My DRE was uncomfortable," Tom inserted bruskly.
"But it was not as bad as my biopsy," Tom snapped.
"I have my blood draw tomorrow," Tom said pointedly.
"And my prostatectomy is next month," Tom added robotically

"I don't think I can make it to my sperm bank appointment," Tom suddenly ejaculated. (How's that for a climax?)


I'm here all week -- enjoy the buffet

Post Edited (DjinTonic) : 8/16/2020 6:06:18 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 8/16/2020 4:49 PM (GMT 0)
"I am undetectable" said Tom, thinking he was invisible.
"Time for my Lupron Shot," Tom interjected.

Post Edited (Wings of Eagles) : 8/16/2020 7:22:21 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 8/16/2020 5:09 PM (GMT 0)

DjinTonic said...
And if Tom were a Forum member:

"I'm done with my prostate radiation!" Tom beamed.
"I'd better see my urologist," Tom said haltingly.
"My Viagra is kicking in," Tom said expansively.
"And my Flowmax sure is, too!" Tom gushed.
"My DRE was uncomfortable," Tom inserted bruskly.
"But it was not as bad as my biopsy," Tom snapped.
"I have my blood draw tomorrow," Tom said pointedly.
"And my prostatectomy is next month," Tom added robotically

"I don't think I can make it to my sperm bank appointment," Tom suddenly ejaculated. (How's that for a climax?)


I'm here all week -- enjoy the buffet

These are wonderful, Djin, a humorous tonic! "I hope others on the Forum add some more, Tom said calculatingly"
Posted 8/16/2020 11:16 PM (GMT 0)
"I never liked bridge," Tom said wistfully.
"The rockets we used to get to the moon were much better," Tom said apologetically.
"It was a Zen thing," Tom said absent-mindedly.
"Unsere Kanzerlin ist besser," Tom sagte murkily. (okay, okay.... so sue me)
("I sure wish we could get off this darn Euro!," Angela remarked)
"Who you accusing of being negative?" Tom said, nonplussed.
"We're going to Malaysia," Tom said timorously.
"That one's for my canoe; the other's for the rowboat," Tom said paradoxically.
"Oh wow, man...," Tom said trippingly. (alt: acidly)

Post Edited (2019Guy) : 8/16/2020 7:55:36 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 8/17/2020 9:43 PM (GMT 0)
Nothing?

Tough room....
Posted 8/17/2020 9:56 PM (GMT 0)
How did I miss this thread? Wow!
Posted 8/17/2020 10:32 PM (GMT 0)

2019Guy said...
"I never liked bridge," Tom said wistfully.
"The rockets we used to get to the moon were much better," Tom said apologetically.
"It was a Zen thing," Tom said absent-mindedly.
"Unsere Kanzerlin ist besser," Tom sagte murkily. (okay, okay.... so sue me)
("I sure wish we could get off this darn Euro!," Angela remarked)
"Who you accusing of being negative?" Tom said, nonplussed.
"We're going to Malaysia," Tom said timorously.
"That one's for my canoe; the other's for the rowboat," Tom said paradoxically.
"Oh wow, man...," Tom said trippingly. (alt: acidly)

Nice!! FWIW, humor threads on a PCa forum often have a short half-life. Or no life at all.

"It's a tough crowd", Tom said ironically.
Posted 8/17/2020 11:16 PM (GMT 0)
Yep, there's bunch out there, just gotta look for 'em.

"That's one ugly hippopotamus!" said Tom hypocritically.
"Two plus two is four!" Tom added.
"Those Europeans have a lousy particle accelerator," said Tom discerningly.
"I'm flat broke," Tom said innocently.
"Sure, I'd love to dance with Fred Astaire," Tom said gingerly.
"I try to avoid the Tom Hanks movie where he plays the dumb guy," Tom said with gumption.
"I'm wearing my new wedding ring!" said Tom with abandon.
"I have frosted the cake," said Tom enticingly.
"I wish I hadn't sold my NES," Tom said disconsolately.
"Be vewy quiet, I'm hunting wabbits," said Tom, befuddled.

And perhaps the most appropriate one under the present circumstances:

"This thread is making me groan!" needled Tom.
Posted 8/18/2020 12:02 AM (GMT 0)
Good ones, 81!

(alt: "I'm steamed!" Tom said ironically.)
Posted 8/18/2020 1:44 AM (GMT 0)
"I'm going on hormone therapy!" Tom said excitedly.
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