Posted 12/13/2020 12:19 PM (GMT 0)
Giannat,
So, so sorry to hear this. This is absolutely the appropriate place to ask this. What to expect with hospice? Much depends on the program that you're in, but there are similarities. I can share what I experienced with hospice care for my parents.
Likely, they will bring a hospital bed into your home. So be thinking about where to put it. You'll need electricity near, to power the bed, and for an oxygen machine.
Once he's there, a doctor or nurse will come and discuss with you their specific details. Generally, they will provide limited medications, all designed for palliative care--any treatment medications will be stopped immediately. This includes IV fluids.
After that, in my parent's case (dad in 2004, mom in 2017), we arranged for 24 hour aides to come. The aide will need a comfortable chair in the room where the bed is, or nearby, and they usually want a lamp near their chair. Their job is to keep him comfortable. Bathe him, shave him if he or you wants that, other things for his comfort. The aide is also there to keep you company, and to help you through the process. I can't give the ones we encountered enough praise.
How long does it take? It can take as little as a day or two, or it can take weeks. So much depends on his condition. If he's able to eat and drink (especially drink), then it lasts longer. Once he stops taking water by mouth, death will happen in a few days, a week at most. They will probably put a foley catheter in, and will monitor his urine output. Eventually it will stop, and, again, death will occur in a few days.
The important thing is that hospice has him in a familiar environment, at home. You're there. It's an opportunity for family and friends to come and say goodbye. You have help there, both to care for him, and for yourself. The aides will ask questions, get to know both of you, and will guide you down the path.
A personal thing that meant a great deal at the time....and is still a perfect summary of what it's like. We brought my mother home for hospice late in the day, too late to arrange for overnight care the first night, so we took shifts that first night.
The second night, an aide came, a middle aged african-american woman. After she arrived, and we arranged the room for her as she needed, she asked my mother's name (Audrey). She took her hand between hers and said, "Miss Audrey, my name is Dolores, and I'm going to sit with you tonight." It was perfect. My wife and I went to bed shortly after that, and slept well. Dolores dimmed the lights, we had the classical music station quietly on the radio, pictures of my dad, and her grandchildren and great-grandchild near for her to see. In the end she passed peacefully at the end of the 4th day---she was never able to take food or water by mouth after they removed her feeding tube at the hospital.