It's Friday somewhere

To move away from the misogyny charges, here is one of my favs:

In the spring of the year, a sheriff in Louisiana pulled over a pick-em-up truck for speeding. As the deputy approached the cab, he noticed that there was a box of machetes in the truck bed. The conversation went like this:

Son, I've got to give you a speeding ticket, and you really need to explain the machetes back there. It better be good, or I'll find something to run you in for.

Sheriff, here's the deal, I'm a pretty good juggler, and I figure I'm going to make myself a little money down in the quarter next week during Mardi Gras. That's the story, and it's the truth.

Son, well, that might be a tall tale, or it might even be true. Get out of the truck, real slow now, and go around back and show me. If you're for real, I'll let you go. Sheaths off, by the way.

So, the young man gets out of the truck, grabs the 4 machetes, takes off the sheaths, and starts juggling along the side of the road. about that time, ol' Boudreaux and Thibadeaux are passing by. Boudreaux, who is driving sees the flashers a ways back and slows down to a perfectly legal speed, pulls over and passes by. As they pass, the take in the scene, police car with flashers on, sheriff standing there with is hands on hips watching a young man juggling unsheathed machetes. They go on by, and about a half-mile up the road, Boudreaux puts the hammer down and gets the heck out of there. Boudreaux turns to Thibadeaux and says,

Thibadeaux, I hope like H*** i never get pulled over for DUI in THIS parish! That's the worst field sobriety test I've ever seen!

(I'm going to throw this in. It's a somewhat amusing experience I had the other day while preparing my income tax online.

It's true, I'm finding out. Embracing a little humor while going through a very stressful time really does help.

Maybe it will also lighten somebody else's mood on this Friday, and there's even a practical tax tip at the end of the story).

I've been doing my annual IRS tax return online for years now, as probably most of us have, and have never had a problem, until a little glitch recently.

I had started up and was running the particular tax prep app I use, and have used for years, but which I will not name out of respect for a possible violation of the forum's rule against commercial referencing. (Let's just say the app's initials are TT and leave it at that).

It wasn't hard to do, since TT's format is good, moving screen-by-screen through the various tax issues (reporting income, claiming deductions, entering data, etc.), and it does this by a succession of simple question-and-answer screens. As noted, it wasn't difficult, but did require a certain level of care and concentration since, obviously, a wrong answer on the user's part on one screen might send subsequent calculations down the wrong path on others.

So, being careful in my answers, with a few of them requiring me to turn from the monitor and consult data in some folders a couple of times, I completed the necessary data input in about 40 minutes.

"Very good, we are almost done!" the happy TT text read on the screen. And then "All you need to do now is click on the "I am not a robot" button below, and then we'll be ready to send your return to the IRS!"

So I dutifully clicked on the "Robot? Not me!" button and that's when all the fun began.

Clicking on it caused the little robot box to be replaced now by a little white circle going round and round.

But that's all it did! It just kept going round and round!

Uh-oh, I thought, this isn't looking good. And it wasn't. After several minutes of watching the little white circle just going round and round and round, I realized, to my great dissatisfaction, that everything was now frozen up.

"Oh no," I thought (well, actually, &#$^)#@ was what I was actually thinking at the moment). "I'm going to have to CTRL-ALT-DELETE out of here, lose all that data I just input over the past 40 minutes, sign on to TT a second time, and start all over! *&^%$"

So, with a heavy sigh, that's what I did. But getting into TT again, I was absolutely delighted to read the message the TT app had popped up on my screen just as soon as I had reaccessed the program:

Well, hello Stephen! We notice that you left us suddenly a few minutes ago, but we're happy to report that all the data that you had input up until the time you departed was saved, and has now reloaded for you to continue and complete your session."

"Yes, yes, thank you, thank you, TT!" I mentally blurted out, "Computerwise, you da Man!"

So all I really had to do at that time was hit the little not-a-robot button again, which I did, holding my breath that it would work this time, and, by golly, it did! The little white circle was, after a few seconds, wonderfully replaced with a nice, large, checkmark!

And after that it was just a matter of a few more clicks, and, lo, my 2021 return was off to the IRS in Washington!

So the story does have a happy ending. And as for the good piece of advice, the "tax tip" mentioned above?

Well, they probably all do it, but if you do use an online tax preparation app yourself, you just might want to confirm ahead of time that it does indeed save your input into it as it goes along (hey, a power outage can happen at any time!), and that if you do happen to encounter something like the experience I describe above, a rapid recovery will be immediately possible, as happened in my case.

But in any event, best wishes to everyone for a successful tax filing and a large return, and may your filing go smoothly!

(And, again, even a little humor can go a long way during a difficult time).

logoslidat said...
2019 hey whats with the jewish jokes...OH I know...you are Jewish...so...its ok and yeh Prato is too...no problem with a mod...betcha couldn't wait till friday...the rest of ya are pathetic... in your swells of swill on your ride to the bottom....good lord what is wrong with you people??? I mean...2019... explain please...really let us in on your thought process...that was an orgy of thrusts...I mean overkill...Were you panting and drooling as you went on and on....I guess...black...gay muslem...disabled...any thing for a laugh hey...Moderators earn you power... for God's sake...

I'm sorry you didn't appreciate the corny old jokes, logo. As we all know, humor is subjective.

As always, I salute your bravery in the face of what you've been through!

Huh. 2019Guy doesn't look **%%##. I'm never offended by Henny Youngman or Rodney Dangerfield. In fact my parents taught me to never accept candy from a stranger. Unless he offers you a ride.

Interesting comments. So much for the 1st amendment.

2019Guy said...
Interesting comments. So much for the 1st amendment.

2019, first of all -- I generally love your jokes and appreciate that you give us some needed OT levity. In fact I often steal them and use them when I send out my weekly tennis lineups. I'm sorry you deleted the non-controversial ones because they were really funny. But I trust you understand that this is really not about the 1st amendment. However seemingly benign, I think we all know that jokes or comments that emphasize religious, ethnic or racial stereotypes can be hurtful. We are first and foremost a support forum so I am simply asking that we all remember that as we post. Trust you understand.

Jim

We've probably all "cancelled" ourselves by the age of 10.

Being on ADT can give you perspective sometimes. 😉

And then there is the cowboy who sang "If you don't leave me alone...I'll find someone who will" that would be me in a bar on chestnut and fillmore...The City...the 60's...first thing when ya move to a place...ya gots to find a watering hole and a gal or to love ya...I found both but not for first or last time...A tear in my eyes..."to all the girls I loved before" .... then I married...and the wife and I love the memories since and the shares before...A memoir written before lived...a squire of the times...true ba doors and liars...sieved...shiver me timbers all...logo

Rob Lee...ya just don't get it do ya... just don't get it...tracks in the mud...throats cooled in suds distilled in thick heads of block...ah words delving deep and true...best to ignore...less a soul stroke befalls

Most of us here are men, and also parents. How about the genre of Bad Dad Jokes. They may be politically incorrect...but the victims are us. The dads who know them, tell them, and love them.

I just ordered an chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.

My wife said I was immature. I told her to get out of my tree fort.

What concert costs .45 for a ticket? 50 Cent featuring Nickleback.

hey gents...ya don't bother me...I just figure y'all all just a bunch of dirty old men doing what dirty old men do...exposing ya selves to to each other...cheap thrills...I say...but hey!!!