Friday Humor

https://nypost.com/2021/11/05/mans-penis-rots-after-being-bitten-by-snake-in-south-africa/

Punch line from an old classic joke..
... "The doc says yer gonna die..."

Stupid games! I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.
Now I am experiencing constant vowel movements.
The next trip to the bathroom
could spell disaster!!

Okay, these jokes made me laugh. Thanks

PREGGO? A woman went to the emergency room, where she was seen by a young new doctor. After about 3 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant.
She burst out of the room and ran down the corridor screaming.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was; after listening to her story, he calmed her down and sat her in another room.
Then the doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor's room.
"What's wrong with you?" he demanded. This woman is 63 years old, she has two grown children and several grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?!!"
The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said:
"Does she still have the hiccups?"

Today’s joke. So I heard their not making shortbread any longer!

We were all at a deer camp. No one wanted to room with Bob, because he snored so badly. We decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so we voted to take turns.

The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.

We said, "Man, what happened to you? He said, "Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."

The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.

We said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful! He said, 'Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."

The third night was Fred's turn. Fred was a tanned, older cowboy, a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said. We couldn't believe it. We said, "Man, what happened?"

He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night.. Bob sat up and watched me all night."

With age comes wisdom. 😆❤️🍷

Saw this in Sports Illustrated: A hiker stranded overnight on a Colorado trail ignored repeated calls from search and rescue because he didn't recognize the number.

Just a Reminder for everyone..... Don’t forget to bring your pots and spoons out at midnight to ring in the new year

And Please remember to Stand with your left foot up so you start the New Year out on the right foot.

Steve n Dallas said...
Just a Reminder for everyone..... Don’t forget to bring your pots and spoons out at midnight to ring in the new year.

Lol! In Tucson there's a tradition of discharging firearms at midnight. Another good reason to stay home and stay inside!

Hey Jack,
Great to see another Tucson person here. If you stick around the forum for awhile maybe some day we can meet for coffee if this virus ever settles down. Some guys prefer to get some support and then they try to forget about cancer and move on. In any case let's hope for a good year ahead.

Yep, the rain is nice.

Logo, you are surely ancient. Loved Bugs Bunny and all the rest on Saturday mornings. God speed.

Matt, I am just starting my journey here. I know I will have a ton more questions. I was a teacher for over thirty years and now I am retired. I was asked a ton of questions for which the most part I had the answers. With prostate cancer, I am the student. Best wishes and I am looking forward to the day without Covid.

Will glass coffins become popular?

Remains to be seen.