Diane D. said...
Thank you for your responses.
I guess there are not many things that are as horrible as what our imaginations can come up with. It's just that we hear so many terrible stories that ruin people's lives! A great deal of them here...No one wants to be caught up in an additional nightmare when they're at a difficult time and they're SO vulnerable. In my case, the phrase "better safe than sorry" is a heavy load to bare. It's like, if you let your guard down THAT will be the one time that the unthinkable happens. Sigh...
My mother died "on her own terms" in August 2019. My sister was away and I went to check on Mom and Dad in the morning after they weren't answering the phone to check in. I knocked and no one answered. I knocked and rang the bell several times. No answer. I banged on windows and checked all the doors. Everything was locked up tight. I called 911, and with the help on my brother in law, the fire dept broke in. Dad was fine but Mom was sick with what she called "the flu". We convinced her to go to the hospital. Oddly enough, she offered NO resistance. (That should have been a clue...)
She appeared fine that night and I was so happy that finally, FINALLY she would be in a doctor's care! I was with her in the evening and my sister was able to fly home and be there for her that next morning. But by the next afternoon she was gone. It was like she and her body made an abrupt decision to "let go" between the time I was there and my sister came...and then she just quietly fell apart. The doctor couldn't do much about it and I could tell he felt really bad, he was young. But, as the saying goes, it was just her time...plain and simple.
I went back and got dad and he came up in his wheelchair. Both my brothers arrived. So she was surrounded by family. No one was crying or even sobbing. It was "nice" and calm but loving none the less. We're Germans so we don't get emotional.
SIMPLE was such a good word for the whole thing. None of the "complications" arose of which I was fearful. No dramatic fanfare or struggle like in movies. Not to belittle anything, but it was an easy death, just like she wanted...Knowing where you're going helps quite a bit, LOL. Having had a "head start" on us, she just left earlier than us,that's all. We'll all meet up later.
I'm SO glad she missed out on this Covid crap and all the hospital restrictions!! She would have been terrified to be alone all that time. THAT was "grace". Thank you Lord. I can't imagine how families are dealing with loved one's passing on these days!
I do apologize, I didn't realize that the date of your thread was over a year ago. I understand what you are saying because I'd been helping my dad for over year, but now, my body and mental illness can't allow me to do it anymore. I had to make a tough choice to request nursing home for him, but it wasn't easy on me.
I hope I didn't sound too direct with my earlier comment, but I truly believe that we common people are held too accountable for the medical condition of our loved ones when we haven't been professionally trained to do the job; whereas, medically trained personnel are not held to an even higher standard.
What I mean is this, GOD forbid an unthinkable event occurred under your sister's care at home with your mother, well, the law well could've been able to hold your sister responsible, as opposed to the same thing happening in a medical community, and the matter would more likely not even raise a significant thought unless the family spoke up.
This causes me a bit of irritability because we loved ones aren't professionally trained to take care of people and they are, so I believe that the ones to rightly be held to higher care standards should be them and not us. Glad to hear that everything was peaceful though, that's important.
Post Edited (hemet-guyNeedEncouragemen) : 6/21/2020 6:24:54 PM (GMT-6)