when do you stop being a "newbie"?

So, I had this big realization on friday that I haven't had this disease nearly long enough to have faced the tremendous emotional/intellectual/physical adjustments it requires. Even though I have had it 10 months (tomorrow, actually), 6 of those were on prednisone, which, for me, worked really well, so I lead my life totally normally, running, eating everything, no blood, etc. Now I have been off pred 4 months and am having to learn how to live with UC without the steroids, and I am realizing that this is a long, steep learning curve. not just figuring out foods and the new rhythms of my body, but also figuring out how to absorb the news, letting myself be angry, or sad, and just accepting all of this. I am wondering when I will quit feeling like I have accepted it. I know that like everything else about this DD we all experience it differently and we adjust differently, but I am wondering, when did you start feeling like you could let go of your sadness/disappointment/anger, etc, and when did you feel like you understood what was going on enough to not be a "newbie"????

as for my earlier post, my "brewing flare" is not worsening. not yet improving, but definitely not declining, so thanks for your advice and here's hoping Imuran does its job.....

I feel the same as Becky. Even though I've had this for 15 years, there are times that I don't know what the heck is going on. Even though I have accepted this DD, I still try to fight it - meaning that there are times that I wish it wasn't so (denial maybe?). I also have days where I feel like doing nothing but cry because of all the things I have missed out on over the years. But on a brighter note, I have those wonderful days that nothing is going to bring me down - even if I'm flaring with this disease. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that with Uc can come a roller coaster of emotions and, at least for me, I do the best that I can and only do what I am able. I don't set high expectations on myself because I don't want the disappointment of letting myself down. And I'm totally ok with that. I've come to terms with that a long time ago.

It's a lengthy learning process. I started feeling less a newbie about 3 1/2 yrs after diagnosis, when I was finally able to arrange a polypectomy. At that time, in the early 1980s, the hospital where my gastro was affiliated still required patients to stay over the night before + night after the procedure. I was absolutely terrified of going there, but my gastro had promised to show me the polyps once they were extracted. Somehow that enabled me to stick it out. Through the fog of Demerol/Versed and whatever other sedative they gave me, I heard the gastro say: " O.K., you wanted to see your polyps; here they are!" She was standing at the foot of my gurney, holding them up in the kind of clear plastic container that class rings used to be packed in. THAT struck me as funny-- so I felt very relaxed, for the 1st time in several yrs of dealing with The Colon Problems. It was a turning point in my UC road. There have since been several others! (But that's true of life in general, I think.) / Old Hat (nearly 30 yrs with left-sided UC ... [etc.])

I appreciate your thoughts. sounds like I have a long road ahead.

I have been diagnosed for a little over a year and find myself on a emotional roller coaster a lot.  I agree with others, some days you when you think you have a grip on it, you get another down swing.  As I posted earlier, relationships are my biggest challenge at the moment.  As if the disease doesnt make you feel unattractive at times as it is!! Its been really hard on me as well and am considering setting up a meeting with a therapist that specializes in chronic illness. 

Good luck, I try to keep telling myself there is always someone worse off than me.  But the bottled up feelings seem to pour out some days!

UCLIFE,

  I'm about your age and feel a huge challenge as far as relationships go too.  If you ever want to compare thoughts, my email is in my profile and I would love to hear from someone in my same boat!

Becky