embarrassed??

ok so i just got diagnosed with UC about umm 3 months ago and i have told my friends what i have but i dont explain it. i am too embarrassed to explain because i think they wont understand! because i am 13 and my friends probably just wouldn't get it and they wouldn't talk to me. its so

frustrating because i want to tell someone about it, but they won't understand. help!

Post Edited (winkerblink) : 4/24/2008 4:33:04 PM (GMT-6)

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. A lot of adults have a hard time understanding to but it has to be so much worse with people your age.

You don't need to explain to those you don't think will understand. Pick and choose who you tell. I always expalin as ulcers in my colon or just bleeding in my digestive tract.

This might sound weird but what about a teacher or counsler at school? I am a teacher in a middle school and just in my little school there are 3 teachers with either UC or crohns. It can be uncomfrtable to talk to adults about something that you are embarrassed about but believe me they won't laugh at you.

It takes time but as you get used to having UC it gets less embarrassing. If you've looked around here you see we talk very openly about going to the bathroom and when talking about pain and stuff. Here you can talk about all the stuff you are embarrassed about, we have all been there.

Have you looked at CCFA? they have a camp just for kids with IBD. Might be something to talk to your parents about. Even the counlers there have IBD so everyone understands. A lot of kids go every year even when they are not flaring. Its just nice to know that others go through what we do.

Good luck and welcome to healingwell!

When you told your friends that you have UC, how did they react? Did any of them ask you what is it? IF so, maybe you should just give a brief explanation to them. If they still seem interested then you can give them more details. That way you won't feel hurt by the others who don't care to listen.

Trust me, there are many adults that don't understand this disease when it's explained to them, so your friends may care, but just can't understand what you are going through.

I would suggest telling only those friends that seem interested to know what you are going through.

Perhaps you can tell them that it's like getting food poisoning, and that usually people get it for a few days, but you have to go through it for a much longer time because your body thinks something bad is in it.

Good Luck! Try to tell at least one of your really understanding friends...that should help you release what you're feeling and maybe that friend can help you share your story. It's not good to keep it inside, you will feel more stressed.

I hope things work out. Please keep us posted and let us know what happens. Just remember, you are not alone. Take care.

I was diagnosed with UC at 15 1/2 (October 2006, 10th grade). I had been out of school 9 weeks so obviously my friends knew I was sick. My best friends asked if I was okay because they hadn't seen me in a while. I told them that I had UC. I didn't go into detail much. I said basically I have ulcers in my colon or large intestine (I realized people don't always understand they are the same organ). If they ask what some of the symptoms are I say a lot of cramping and trips to the bathroom. My close friends went online and read what it was. My friends are really supportive and when I was sick again this year (October again and now) they would bring home some of the work I was missing in my classes. They always IM me if they haven't talked to me in a few days to see how I am. My friends also like to joke around with my UC. One of my guy friends said he was going to buy me sudoku toilet paper because I was in the bathroom all the time and I love playing sudoku (he never did buy it for me).

It definitely is hard especially at a young age to have UC. If I was 13 and one of my friends told me that they had UC I'm not sure I would understand what was going on. I don't think many people at any age understand what we go through. I would tell your friends that you have UC and if they want to know more than to ask you. You don't have to get very graphic. Sometimes I tell people that I am friends with but not close friends with that it is like having a never ending stomach virus. It usually gets the point across.

Finding a teacher or someone to talk to is nice too. I am close with my 6th grade history teacher. My friend and I would come back to the middle school sometimes to hang out or helping clean his classroom. Not long after I was diagnosed my friend and I were helping him around his classroom. He had known I was sick and I told him I had UC. Next thing I find out is he has Crohn's. He was really helpful when I was trying different medications to find one that worked. He even said it is nice to know someone else who has similar issues. I also found out that a girl in chorus with me has Crohn's. I have never talked to her face to face but talk to her online. She was having trouble also and it is good to know there is someone there for moral support.

Only tell your friends what you are comfortable telling. A true friend will try to understand the best they can. I don't think my friends totally understood at first but they try. And there is always this board where all your friends understand what your going through.

I have had UC since I was 15 (Freshman year). My suggestion to you would be to tell your trusted friends. Because remember, kids tend to spread information. So if you don't want your whole grade to know, only tell those who you know will be understanding about it.

I usually tell people I have inflammation in the intestines if i don't want to go into detail (Im in the same situation as you since Im in high school).

I was 15 when I started getting sick and had just turned 16, got sent to the hospital for a month, and missed 3 months of school. Of course this was back in the dark ages (1961)......and the meds and knowledge were limited. No one talked much to me, but talked about me a lot...with that look of tsk, tsk.
Everything from poor parenting (which was not true) to diet to nerves was blamed. I felt like a freak and was embarrassed for years to talk about it. I never heard of the disease, and felt like I was the only person in the world. Thank heavens now there is the net and I hope the adults in your life can hook you up with school counselors, health counselors and other medical professionals.

I did come back from pan colitis to left side and went away to college and have lived a happy and productive life as a teacher. So don't think you can't have everything you want. You can do it all. But do use everything available, and understand that you can and will go forward.
Talk to people.....it helps. And adults can help you to deal with kids your age and explaining it to them
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