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Ulcerative Colitis
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Posted 8/5/2008 3:20 PM (GMT 0)
I don't know if any of you have noticed my absence - hopefully someone did - c'mon make me feel wanted  :-)   Anyway, I am in the process of getting gma ready to be place in an assisted living center.  For anyone that don't know who gma is, I've talked about her alot on here, she is my grandmother who moved in with me about 4 years ago.  She has Alzheimers and has been getting progressively worse.  That is why I had to make the heavy decision to place her in a home.  So I've been getting her packed and ready; she is supposed to get in there sometime this week.  A lot of stress??? Oh yeah.  And we are also residing our house.  We have people coming and going left right and center.  While I'm tickled pink that finally after 9 years that this is happening, it is taking a toll on my health.  I feel like a lump because I can't help.  The guys are doing it all as well as one of my gal pals.  I try to help but end up hurting (because of the discs in my neck) so then I have to stop.  Frustrating?? You bet.  My daughter is also giving me grief - I won't go into details but lets just say she is only 12 wanting to do things what 16 year olds do - not good stuff.  More stress?? Uh huh..........so guess what?? Surprise! I'm flaring again.  mad   I have been off steroid enemas now for 2 weeks and I so don't want to go back on them!  I am tired of this crap - yes pun intended.  I am now having that burning yellow/green bile type D.  It doesn't hurt when I go yet but I know that is coming.  I am beginning to get cramps and liquid goo in the gut feeling.  My hip joints are starting to hurt again - my other clue a flare is here.  I am just so tired of dealing with it all that I just want to hide in a corner and stay there for a month.  Ok vent over.....
Posted 8/5/2008 3:26 PM (GMT 0)
Oh Red! So sorry to hear about the flare from all of the stress. How miserable!

Thinking about you and sending you (((hugs)))!
Posted 8/5/2008 3:33 PM (GMT 0)
Oh no Sherry! I am so sorry you are feeling bad. I was just thinking about you and gma this morning. Please keep us posted on her move to the nursing home and how you are feeling!
Posted 8/5/2008 3:37 PM (GMT 0)
Oh Sherry; you have so many things going on right now. I hope that things get better, and that the flaring stops. As for the moving end of things....I think my boyfriend and I finally made the decision to give it up and let others help us. I pay for a lot of things now that I would have never even dreamed of paying someone to do years ago. So don't beat yourself up; sometimes we just have to give in. Take care my friend, and know I'm thinking about you.

Posted 8/5/2008 4:05 PM (GMT 0)
Can't help with a thing but can offer you online *hugz* hope you can find a small peace in knowing that you are doing what's best for gma with placing her in an assisted living environment. I worked one for many years and know that they will keep a very good eye on her. The staff are understanding and know it's not easy for you just as it's not easy for her so let them help you and she adjust to it all. It will all work out.
Posted 8/5/2008 4:11 PM (GMT 0)
Sherry....listen to Carol. You have to know when to step back and not feel you're the only one in control of things. Maybe it's time for you to connect with your daughter, go out and do something just with her and not talk about all the crappy stuff that's going on.

It's most important you connect, for the draw of doing older girl stuff can be stronger if you're turning the other way.

Yes, take care of yourself, delegate and look after your flare for now. Bandaid treatment, but maybe once g'ma is safe in her place, you'll realise some relief.

You're a tough and loving person.....but you have limitations and cannot control it all. I suggest you do some research and find ways to connect with your daughter...she must be scared for how you're feeling as well. Tough being 12, 13, 14, 15, 16....

Let us know how g'ma settles in.

quincy
Posted 8/5/2008 4:42 PM (GMT 0)
Aaagh, Sherry, I'm so sorry. I know what a difficult decision this has been, and I'm so sorry you got a flare to go along with it. With all you've got going on, don't forget to take a little time to take care of Sherry. Hope you're soon feeling better. ((((Hugs))))

Posted 8/5/2008 4:57 PM (GMT 0)
Okay I can totally relate to the teenager thing...I am sure that the stress of my own contributed greatly to my developing UC...and quitting smoking. Which by the way my DD kept bugging me about!

I have worked in a nursing home. One of the biggest upset for families is placing their parents in a home. However, it also turns out to be the best decision. It's hard to care for ailing family especially when they require full time care. it's frustrating and heartbreaking for family to watch their loved ones deteriorate. So listen carefully. You are doing the best for your grandmother, the home will care for her and look after her dignity too. When you visit she will be washed and dressed and looking well. You need to look after yourself now and your relationship with you daughter....you have to be well to look after her.

But I do relate to the 'debates' that go with teenagers....(((((0)))))
Posted 8/5/2008 5:27 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the nice words - much needed today.

I don't think it's so much a control issue but the fact that I can't is what's killing me. I used to be quite active and this past year I have been hardly able to do anything because of my back and neck. So I guess I am going thru the grieving process all over again. But instead of the Uc it's the chronic pain issues that I am dealing with now. I gave up the control issue a long time ago and have since delegated responsibilities to others. My hubby does what he can but during the day, he works (someone has to make the money) so it is up to me to care for gma. That is one reason why I decided to send her to the center. I have to think of myself as well as her wellbeing. So I know this is the right call - it's just rough but I'm sure I will endure :) I also need, like you said, to reconnect with my daughter. She needs me, especially now that she is in a tough transition period. And I just can't do that if I am preoccupied with gma. I'm hoping by the end of the year, things will have settled down as best as they can.

As for my flare, I have a call into my GI. He's at another office today so I may not hear back from him today. I am going to start back on the steroid E's to nip this one quickly.
Posted 8/5/2008 6:16 PM (GMT 0)

Ah Sherry it is times like this that we just want to crawl in a corner and cry is right.  You have every reason to feel this way.  I am sure it's a hard decision to put your gma in a nursing facility even if it is the right thing to do.  As for your daughter boy do I remember those days.  Tough ages coming up.  I think a nice girl day out is just the thing..maybe get pedicures together or go to a movie and get something to eat and just talk.  See what she is thinking.  In addition to all the crazy things going on remember to take care of yourself.  If you are tired lay down, close the door and rest.  You and everyone will pay off in the end.  I hope you feel better soon.

Stacy

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