maybe this is a vent...

Ok so I have had UC for 5 years. I couldn't tell a close person just how sick I am during the first year. But the next year I realized I must try to tell her how sick I am. Yet every time I would ask her to meet up with me so that we could talk. She would make up some stupid excuse. *_* Then about 4 years later by chance I found out she had been hurt while in South Africa. And of course I ran and asked her about it. She wouldn't say much, but she could tell I was quite worried about her. I know how it is being in pain and then having to deal with the mental memory of it. *Maybe a snake bite isn't that much cause to be worried about , so after that I w8ed for a bit before I called her. I don't know why I called her but I did but she thought I was still stuck on the whole serpent incident. I told her that I am not talking about what happened the last week of school. No I told her that I have been sick with UC. She doesn’t know what that UC is but she sure as hell knew what infusions were. Ya umm I know she cried... Is this tragic?

That is why i had to write it all out. I keep playing the whole phone call over and over in my head. Good God she is stubborn!!

I forgot to mention that we were good friends in grade school.

Um, I'm not sure I understand the story what you're point exactly is...

LyndaC said...
 Think you might have to explain some more, I'm confused

5 years ago I went silent because of my illness. Not once did she ask me what was wrong. So I left, the hardist thing I had to do. Then this past year she got bit by a snake when she was in Africa. So I talked to her about it. "if you can call not looking in the face and me shaking like a slinky a talk..." But at that time she didn't know that i was sick or how sick i was. So i called her up last month, this is how it went.

M: Hello. This is...

R: The snake bite wasn't that bad! (i forget what i said before this but i sounded upset so she thought i was talking about her)

M: I am not talking about the snake bite, but since you brought it up it just shows how much i care about ya.

R: silence...

M: I have Ulcertive Colitis. *i lamely try to explain over the phone....so i'll skip that part...*

R:  *laughs* (but not the ha ha or sure whatever kind...more like a mental brake down kind of laugh.)

After that i hear the phone hit the counter...and some sobs. (I hate making people cry)

Is it really that hard for people to understand that even though we look fine, we are not??  But I see what you mean.If she really cared then she would have asked me long ago how well I was.Why do people have to be so self centered?! Now I think the next time we see each other she won't be able to look me in the eye, not out of anger but out of shame...Ya that might be right. We are going to MSU together in the fall.Tiss fun...Maybe then well hang out sometime..IDK.   

Ah, thanks for the clarification.

Yep, a lot of people are self-centered. You guys were only 13 when you first got sick, so it might have been hard for her and others at that age to be considerate and whatnot. But if she's not so understanding now, maybe she's not really a friend then.  Pretty much all of the "friends" that I've had have been self-centered. And once I got UC, I never bothered telling them and have cut them out of my life.

I still don't get any of it.... what does a snake bite have to do with anything? Why wouldn't you just tell a friend what was wrong with you if you were sick? Why bother telling her at all after so much time had passed? I dunno... you 2 obviously aren't close friends anymore, so who cares how she reacts? Or am I still missing something?

Well a good friend might cry but it would be followed with 'how are you coping' or 'can I do anything to help'.....instead it seems like she's thinking 'how does this affect me'...just my thoughts on it though.

Thanks: LyndaC,Eva Lou,ediekristen,sweetmelody.You gave me better insight to all of this. *gives hug*