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Posted 10/22/2008 8:52 AM (GMT 0)
Have any of you had people make comments to you like: 'I had the flu once so I know exactly how you feel.' Or 'You should have no trouble having a baby. You are so used to your stomach hurting that contractions will be nothing for you.' I even had someone tell me that they had a really bad stomach ache and then when I made a comment about my stomache hurting they said, 'yeah, but you're used to it.'

Has anyone else experienced this and if so how do you respond?

Posted 10/22/2008 10:19 AM (GMT 0)
I get it all the time too, so I simply let it go.... these "normies" have no clue that their agonizing day or two of stomach or flu pain or whatever is still like a walk in the park versus what many of us go through every day.  I have had my own parents puzzled asking me to describe what sort of pain I am feeling.  We can be like Eskimos describing dozens of different types of snow to someone who has lived their whole life in the tropics- i.e. where would I begin?

Posted 10/22/2008 11:14 AM (GMT 0)
Oh yes...when I went the ER after being in pain and not eating for 12 days or drinking for 4 days....

I asked the Dr. "How can my body survive without eating or drinking?"

His response was....in a sarcastic tone...."You certainly don't look malnourished to me!"

Bear in mind.... I am 5 feet tall and weigh 125 lbs.  - its not as if I am obese!

Some Dr's just....SUCK!

Posted 10/22/2008 1:06 PM (GMT 0)
When people complain about their mundane illnesses, I just remind myself that it's important to them, and listen. Or if they go on too long, I tell them they should see their doctor and either change the subject or walk away.

For the ER doctor: "I didn't say I was malnourished. I said I haven't been able to eat or drink for four days." We do get a lot of opportunities to practice our assertiveness skills, don't we?
Posted 10/22/2008 1:57 PM (GMT 0)

people just do not know what we go through.  I have some friends that really just have no clue but are really great in other ways and I have some friends that are so understanding it is unbeliveable.

Not everyone will ever 'get it'.  Judilyn is right, it is good practice on standing up for ourselves. My original pc care Dr. was like you don't have colitis, you ate wow potato chips one time so this is why you have this problem, even though your Mom had it does not mean you do. 

Dr's are people too some are idiots just like everyone else.

Posted 10/22/2008 5:34 PM (GMT 0)
My own mother who has diverticulitis has told me just to eat (spicy chicken wings) and suffer the consequences! Oh no, I won't put my body through that. Even she didn't understand.
Posted 10/22/2008 6:15 PM (GMT 0)
The stupidest thing anyone ever said to me was they wished they could also have crohn's so they could stay at home and not have to go to work...she then actually asked me (supposedly jokingly I'm hoping) to give her a stool sample so she could say it was hers and then be able to stay home as well.

It's important to realize that people are simply stupid when stupid things come out of their mouths and those people are the last type of people you should let ruffle your feathers, they are just not worth it. Dr.s included!

:)
Posted 10/22/2008 6:30 PM (GMT 0)

Since newly diagnosed at age 68 - my comments are all related to age.  Oh, all the people my age know exactly where my pain is and running to the bathroom.  Younger people think "there she goes again - old people are always whining about their health".  As for doctors - they go to school a LONG time - learn a lot - but do they have a class in how to deal with all kinds of people and have some compassion along the way.

ElaineNY

Posted 10/22/2008 6:48 PM (GMT 0)
People can be very clueless sometimes. I am at work today waiting for my GI doc to call. I feel like my stomach is about to explode. It husts for me to get up and walk. People are looking at me crazy like "it's just a stomach ache". I try to come to work whenever I can just to prove that Im not faking. Probablty should've stayed home today. SOme people are just jerks.
Posted 10/22/2008 7:22 PM (GMT 0)
Ignorance is bliss. If youve never experienced it, you would never know. Dont let it bother you.

Ive had plenty of asanine comments.
Posted 10/22/2008 8:19 PM (GMT 0)

You bet ignorance is bliss.  I have some friends that worry about me and others that get mad at me when i say umm i have been sick for lets seee.....6 years! They go ya sure you are just saying that. STUPID...

Then i have the people that complain about how i don't do a dam thing every day.

-i don't work

-i just go to school

-so how the hell do you say you know how life can be hectic...

*that is where i roll my eyes and say UC IS A FULL TIME JOB!!!*

And some professors are the biggist critiques of this. How can you be gone for a week...and expect me to think you are sick if you don't look like you have been to the hospital....STUPID!!!

WoW that felt good. redface redface :-) :-) smilewinkgrin wink

Thank You. smurf

Posted 10/22/2008 8:25 PM (GMT 0)

pb4 said...
The stupidest thing anyone ever said to me was they wished they could also have crohn's so they could stay at home and not have to go to work...she then actually asked me (supposedly jokingly I'm hoping) to give her a stool sample so she could say it was hers and then be able to stay home as well.

It's important to realize that people are simply stupid when stupid things come out of their mouths and those people are the last type of people you should let ruffle your feathers, they are just not worth it. Dr.s included!

:)

Good God i wouldn't wish this on my worst foe! Let alone someone I know and can semi respect...I say semi because any self-respecting person would never say that. But it is funny.

rolleyes  

Posted 10/22/2008 8:39 PM (GMT 0)
I've had far too many comments like that in the past and it used to bother me.I don't let them bother me now, ignorant people will always be ignorant.
Posted 10/22/2008 11:08 PM (GMT 0)
I love the "I wish I could have what you have so I could be skinny like you"
Posted 10/23/2008 1:14 AM (GMT 0)
I also hate people that dont think you are sick because you look fine. how do you look normal and fine anyway?

I remember post transplant I was on the subway and i needed to sit down. An old lady got on and people frowned at me because I didnt give up my seat. But truly, she wasnt that old, she seemed able bodied, and I was not. I just didnt look sick.
Posted 10/25/2008 3:01 AM (GMT 0)

pb4 said...
The stupidest thing anyone ever said to me was they wished they could also have crohn's so they could stay at home and not have to go to work...

I probably would have punched her.

Posted 10/25/2008 4:49 AM (GMT 0)
We did a thread on this about a yr & a half ago, with emphasis on people offering us unwanted advice. I remember that Shrek wondered if these types behave the same way toward cancer patients! / Old Hat (nearly 30 yrs with left-sided UC ... [etc.])
Posted 10/25/2008 7:06 AM (GMT 0)
I didn't have to do anything, about 5 yrs ago I found out she has severe IBS...but she doesn't qualify to stay at home as a result of it...I solely rely on karma, and once again it bit someone in the "ass" that should have thought before she spoke, you know what they say, "careful what you wish for, you might just get it"

BTW, she made those comments to me 17 yrs ago when I first got sick, so karma might have been slow at it but better late then never, not that I wished any harm on her of course, I didn't have to, she said something stupid and must have really meant it because karma got her.

:)
Posted 10/25/2008 2:24 PM (GMT 0)
No, Old Hat - cancer patients are treated differently.  My husband has lung cancer and I have UC.  Poor "Paul" (husband) he has cancer AND he has to deal with his sick wife (sarcastic thinking).  Oh well, I would rather have UC than cancer but yes there is a lot of difference in the treatment as far as compassion, etc.  I KNOW many people don't think what I have is any big deal - I would not wish it on my worst enemy however.

ElaineNY

Posted 10/25/2008 3:17 PM (GMT 0)
People don't get it because they've never experienced it and there's still alot of ignorance about IBD because it's not the type of thing most folks feel comfortable talking about. Same with colon cancer. Kudos to Katie Couric for trying to educate people.

A lot of people don't understand the digestive system in general. I have an aunt who always asks how my "stomach" is feeling. I have UC. It's my COLON that's affected, not my stomach.
Posted 10/25/2008 4:54 PM (GMT 0)
princesa - One of my best friends always asks about my "stomach" too! I haven't corrected him yet, but it kind of aggravates me.
Posted 10/25/2008 4:58 PM (GMT 0)
Now you guys are letting technical things aggravate you, I always refer to my stomach bugging me, I never say my colon is bugging me, you can't expect people to relate to my colon is bugging me compared to my stomach is bugging me besides which, isn't it your stomach that hurts/aches due to your colon being inflamed?

:)
Posted 10/25/2008 5:37 PM (GMT 0)
I usually say my "tummy," or my colon, since it isn't actually my stomach. Plus, tummy is such a cuter word.
Posted 10/25/2008 6:09 PM (GMT 0)

Now there is a good question!  I don't believe that my colon has anything to do with my stomach hurting.  If I have GERD or stomach aches it is due to digestion, something I ate, etc. but nothing to do with my colon.  Maybe I am wrong!

To be fair to those who don't understand - I am 68 and probably did not understand either until about 2 years ago - I always thought it was all "stomach" problems!

ElaineNY

Posted 10/25/2008 6:56 PM (GMT 0)
In correlation with intestinal issues people relate it to stomach/tummy issues so since there still are too many people that have no idea about IBD, telling them you have stomach/tummy issues is easier for them to relate to than saying colon or bowel issues, besides which I know many if not most IBDers do have tummy/stomach pain as a result of having IBD.

:)
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