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Reflecting on things (probably sappy)

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Posted 3/24/2009 7:11 PM (GMT 0)
So last night, when I was rocking my son to sleep (he's five months), I started thinking how lucky I was to have him and the utter joy he brings to my life.  Previously, I'd been feeling pretty sorry for myself, given that I got this DD so soon after his birth, and how hard it's been being so sick and having a new baby.  Luckily, he's a really good baby...he sleeps well and is usually happy.  Still, though, there were days where I was just too sick to care for him like I felt I should, and I felt like I'd been cheated somehow, or that I wasn't being as good of a mom as I should be. 

However, I also think that it's a good thing that I had him to focus on...I think it's kept me from dwelling on the negatives of this disease.  After all, wouldn't you rather play with a sweet little baby than sit and think about your colon?  And what's more comforting and calming than cuddling a sleeping baby?  And what makes your heart sing more than a baby giving you a big smile and laugh? 

Sorry, I'm being a sappy new mommy...

Posted 3/24/2009 7:24 PM (GMT 0)
How nice! Babies are so sweet.

I'm am also very blessed, not with children but with a comfortable life -- tackling challenges greater than most that have made me strong -- but a very comfortable life that I can take personal credit for achieving.

As you may know, I don't reveal my disease to anyone, yet I know many people credit me with being the happiest, luckiest person they know! It's like a very clever secret. That makes me smile, and people smile back.
Posted 3/24/2009 7:43 PM (GMT 0)
It's wonderful that you are focusing on the good things life has to offer. And what better thing than your sweet baby. They are so innocent! My friend and I just came back from a beautiful walk in the sunshine with tons of yellow flowers covering the fields. This is my favorite time of year to walk and I look forward to the wildflowers every year. Another nice thing; even though my boyfriend is unemployed....every morning he kisses me goodbye and says..."Make it a good day!" I love that. So cuddle that baby, enjoy today for today...yesterday's worries are gone, and we can't know what tomorrow will bring. Enjoy that little guy of yours....sigh....wish I was rocking him too. :-)

Posted 3/24/2009 7:47 PM (GMT 0)
Yes, babies are so sweet (from what I vaguely remember) although I had 2 babies and they were like night and day, the second one was very colic and it was hell on us all, especially since the first was like a perfect angle with great sleeping patterns and no colic issues...however when they turn into teenagers it can really turn your life upside down if the angel baby turns into a demond teenager LOL, of course I'm not saying that my teenagers are horrible or anything, they just really keep you on your toes and it's interesting to say the least. Now my first born is already out on her own and she's managing pretty good so we've obviously done some things right, a couple more yrs and my youngest (baby) will likely be out on his own too, that will be an especially weird feeling to have no kids at home after 20 yrs of having them practically by your side...it goes by faster than you'd ever think (except of course the bumpy roads feel like they're never gonna end and you can't wait for those times to speed up LOL).

:)
Posted 3/24/2009 8:11 PM (GMT 0)

Then you are a Grandmother and it starts all over again - but someone else has the responsibilities - love it!

ElaineNY

Posted 3/24/2009 9:23 PM (GMT 0)
I felt that way with my children even though I didn't have a disease--guilty on days that I was too tired or sick to be as patient as I should or unable do as much as I should. I think it's the contrast, a child is such a precious gift, you wish you could care for them perfectly. Too bad none of us are perfect. I think that is a common feeling, if you didn't have UC it would be something else. Ironically, after being so ill, I care less about being a perfect mother. I'm just thankful that I was given this time to enjoy my little blessings.
Posted 3/25/2009 12:08 AM (GMT 0)
My kids are no longer babies either - but are still young enough for me to cuddle and snuggle them.  And there's nothing I look forward to more than my morning hugs and kisses when they wake up!  So keep on cuddling that baby of yours - it really is a very special time.

Posted 3/25/2009 12:27 AM (GMT 0)
Enjoy every minute of it!
Posted 3/25/2009 4:55 AM (GMT 0)
The point is that it's not all or nothing. It's difficult to recognise and focus on the blessings/positives of one's life while living with a disease that controls a most intimate portion of it. It really sucks that you got UC so soon after the birth of your son....you have every right to be angry about that...it's not fair...but you have moved on to living with it now that you're starting to feel better.

All you can do is your best to look after yourself, realise your limitations when you're not feeling well and try to not punish yourself for it.

Eventually you'll find the balance. There will be ups and downs, with your disease and with your son as he grows and experiences his own life as well as you learning to be a mom on the continuum. One never knows what the future will be....so enjoy the now as best you can.

quincy
Posted 3/25/2009 11:29 AM (GMT 0)
This disease started for me when I was pregnant so I've had it for my daughter's entire 6 years of life. There were many hard days in the beginning like when I would have to set her down in the middle of the night during a feeding so that I could run to the bathroom, it was heart breaking. She truly is a blessing and the only child I am going to have, so I really cherish my time with her. I agree that focusing on our children really does help. I'm very active in my daughter's school as well as her other activities. There are days where I just don't feel like doing anything but because of her I have to.
Posted 3/25/2009 12:40 PM (GMT 0)
I am very secure in my knowledge of this DD and I have come to terms and peace with it as well. If I knew then what I know now, I would have relished my children more when they were babies. I sometimes wish that I could turn back the clock and live it over again. Even having Uc! Babies can make almost anyone smile regardless of the circumstances. Live it up now and cherish every moment.
Posted 3/25/2009 3:28 PM (GMT 0)

Thanks, everyone for the kind words.

Here's a picture of him...he *loves* baths, as you can see!

VIEW IMAGE


Posted 3/25/2009 3:47 PM (GMT 0)

SO CUTE!!!!!!!  Could definitely help MY UC symptoms!!

ElaineNY

Posted 3/25/2009 3:48 PM (GMT 0)
Elaine, if you lived close enough (I live in WA state, and see that you live in NY), I'd let you come over and rock him! :) Babies can always use extra grandmas!
Posted 3/25/2009 3:50 PM (GMT 0)
I would love that!  Elaine

Posted 3/25/2009 4:02 PM (GMT 0)
Awww he is just too adorable!!!
Posted 3/25/2009 4:07 PM (GMT 0)
I'll come rock....I live in California! He is adorable! Thanks for making my day, Fruitgirl!

Posted 3/25/2009 6:37 PM (GMT 0)
Well no wonder you turned into "sappy mom" OMG he's defintiely squeezable, what a cutie!

:)
Posted 3/25/2009 6:54 PM (GMT 0)
Your son is adorable. I'm right there with you. My little girl is 11 weeks old. She always smiles and brightens my day.
Posted 3/25/2009 7:31 PM (GMT 0)
What a sweetie....seems bathtime is a hit!
Posted 3/25/2009 8:07 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks again, all! That picture is the background on my computer here at work, and it makes me smile every time I see it (and it makes me want to go get him from daycare!).

Carol, come on up and rock him! I have to warn you, though, he's a drool monster right now...we think he's getting some teeth and has discovered how to blow raspberries as well!
Posted 3/25/2009 8:10 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Fruitgirl, that would be fun! I have six great nieces/nephews ranging from 3 months to 8 years old, and I've been loving them all to pieces. The part I love is rocking them when they are babies though...so sweet.
Posted 3/25/2009 8:31 PM (GMT 0)
What a doll! He's super cute. Just looking at that picture makes a person smile.
Posted 3/25/2009 9:46 PM (GMT 0)
Aww, he's so adorable!
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