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For Fun - You Know you have UC When-

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Posted 5/24/2009 4:27 AM (GMT 0)
These are all too funny! I just read them to my husband and we were laughing so hard we were crying! Worst part I told him is that it's all true! Thanks to all of you for laughing in the face of this DD. It's the only way to make it through...and I'm glad I have all of you to get through the stuff with!
Posted 5/24/2009 1:24 PM (GMT 0)
These aren't all original, this thread has been around before ( happy to see it back, its the BEST)

 You know you have UC when:

 You get your mail order meds and your neighbors think you just got a new TV set.

 You have 3 sizes of pants in your closet and you have fit into all of them in the past year.

 Sticking something up your  bum just isn't a big deal anymore.

 You have scented candles AND air fresheners in your bathroom.

 The nurses in the colonoscopy suite remember you.

 Some people know the nuances of fine wine, you know the nuances of poo.

 When you travel, your meds have their own suitcase.

 The russian roulette one had me in tears.....

 Love and laughter to all, Merry

 

Posted 5/24/2009 6:50 PM (GMT 0)
You know that you have UC when-- you're about to pay for a 4-pack of tp at the local discount drugstore & the cashier announces proudly that the 12-pack is on sale. / Old Hat (30 yrs with left-sided UC ... [etc.])
Posted 5/24/2009 9:51 PM (GMT 0)
You know you have UC when you laugh during rectal exams, suppositories and enemas. (At the age of 7!)
Posted 5/24/2009 10:38 PM (GMT 0)

Joylu said...

sweetmelody said...
You know you have UC when:

You are watching a movie and they're in the middle of nowhere walking and all you can think is... there's no bathrooms there!

OMG this made me laugh out loud.  I thought I was the only one who watched movies and TV and think things like this!!

I do this too!!

Posted 5/24/2009 11:05 PM (GMT 0)
Russian roulette! TOO FUNNY!!!!
Posted 5/25/2009 4:41 PM (GMT 0)
You know you have UC ....
when you are sleeping and roll onto your left side and then you immediately have to make a midnight, 2am,and 4am run to the bathroom
when you are in a public restroom and have to flush the toilet multiple times to drown out the wonderful "music" coming from your bum
Posted 5/25/2009 4:49 PM (GMT 0)
You know you have UC when you're constantly looking for sales on toilet paper
Posted 5/25/2009 6:40 PM (GMT 0)
you know you have uc when...

if anyone you know moans of food poisoning or has a bad curry etc you actually dont care as you know theyll get over it!

or secretly you enjoy them being in your shoes as they always think your over reacting devil

you know you have uc when your life revolves around your bowels

when the idea of a spaceman in his spacesuit makes you sweat, how would you get outta that suit!

Posted 5/25/2009 9:15 PM (GMT 0)
when you look at a pair of pants that has buttons all down the front instead of a zipper and think... there's no way i have time to unbutton all of those!

when the idea of being on a boat,canoe, kayak...etc with no bathroom freaks you out
Posted 5/26/2009 3:17 AM (GMT 0)
When: the topic of the conversation, or the person you are talking to doesn't matter...Gotta Go NOW!!!
Posted 5/26/2009 11:31 AM (GMT 0)
When your much older in laws ask advice on the prep for a colonoscopy.

When you can empathize with a friend who has a stomach bug but get jealous because you know their D will eventually stop.

You watch people running down the sidewalk and wonder if they have to go to the bathroom.

These are all so funny! Yes this has been discussed on here before but it's still funny because everyone always has something different. In fact, our last one was on the True guts website.
Posted 5/26/2009 12:02 PM (GMT 0)
When you load your pockets with Kleenexes JUST IN CASE!
When your face turns red all of a sudden, and you stop talking mid-conversation and all you can think to yourself is 'Please not now!'
You know all the 'good/clean' toilets around town!
Look for the least used/frequented toilet at work and claim it your own!
'Think that your guts have a weird sense of knowing when you're near a toilet!!!!' Don't know how but mine does and I get the worst urges right when I'm near a restroom! It's got a mind of it's own.

Loved some of the ones here. Definitely know about the clenched butt sprint and the russian roulette one had me on the floor.
I'm so glad we can get a good lough out of this. Just made my day!
Posted 5/26/2009 12:08 PM (GMT 0)
Oh one more:
When you really wish you could just wear diapers again and not have to worry about anything! Been thinking about that for a while now :-)
Posted 5/28/2009 7:35 AM (GMT 0)
you know you have uc when....

you are a master at sudoku (and only started playing a month ago)

you can finish a huge 300 page book of word searches in a week and a half

your bathroom has plastic bags from the grocery store stashed so you can puke while crapping cuz of the intense pain

you actually search for handle bars for your toilet

you can and will crap anywhere in front of anyone and dont care

someone within hearing distance of the bathroom thinks you are having a baby, when you're only doing your usual poo

your family is surprised when you are on the phone with them while NOT sittin on the can

you cant wear a skirt due to the red ring around your butt (and back of your legs) from sittin on the can for an hour and a half

just the smell of food alone actually triggers a dash to the can

you amazingly fart away (from the toilet) and its not a shart, you call everyone you know and tell them the great news!
Posted 5/28/2009 3:04 PM (GMT 0)
Someone just sent me a video of Billy Connolly talking about his colonoscopy. I don't know the exact rules here on linking to vids so I'll add this warning. There is a lot of swearing, but for those of us who can watch this be prepared. I laughed so hard that my sides hurt for 2 days.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBMsPNI6EZE
Posted 5/28/2009 8:29 PM (GMT 0)

chattyhunter said...
you know you have uc when...

if anyone you know moans of food poisoning or has a bad curry etc you actually dont care as you know theyll get over it!

or secretly you enjoy them being in your shoes as they always think your over reacting devil

you know you have uc when your life revolves around your bowels

when the idea of a spaceman in his spacesuit makes you sweat, how would you get outta that suit!

so funny about the spacesuit.  i was thinking about that the other day, oddly.  but really, most things that I see on tv or movies or when i hear a story, my first question is - but where are the bathrooms?? 

so glad i found this forum.  i have been feeling so alone with my UC - it helps that someone out there knows what i am feeling :).

Posted 5/29/2009 12:06 AM (GMT 0)
You know you have UC when:

This first thing you pay attention to when apartment hunting is how many bathrooms there are, and how far away they are from the bedroom/couch.

You make a trip to Sam's Club/Costco just to get toilet paper in bulk.

You've had to keep an extra pair of underwear and pants in your car for accidents.

Every time your stomach makes some sort of noise, your significant other asks, "Do you need a bathroom?"

You've had to bring your pillow and blanket into the bathroom so you can get to the toilet faster in the middle of the night....
Posted 5/29/2009 5:22 AM (GMT 0)
You look at other people and have "colon envy"
Posted 5/29/2009 6:56 AM (GMT 0)
You have contemplated about going up a floor to find a more isolated bathroom but go in the one on the first floor because there is no time left.
Posted 5/29/2009 3:59 PM (GMT 0)

Too funny. They're all great.

You know you have UC when...

...you do more squats than a bodybuilder.

...you get addicted to your cell phone's games. (Darn you brickbreaker.lol)

...you start stipping before you get to the restroom door.

...you may not remember those famous lyrics of the Diahrea song growing up but you can come up with some original freestyle verses on the fly.

...Some of your kids pic on you cell phone are from a very familiar vantage pint. your toilet.

...you actually had to go while reading this 3 page thread.

...your the only one in the sportsbar drinking ice tea.

 

Posted 5/29/2009 10:52 PM (GMT 0)
You know you have UC when:
after each BM you peep in to check - what all does my stool contain today !!
Posted 4/5/2011 8:53 PM (GMT 0)
Love this thread, so I thought I would repost, and add to it. Come on, let have a bit of a giggle.

You know you have UC when you don't flinch when you have to do your make up while sitting on the toilet, since you are running out of time and have to go to work.
Posted 4/5/2011 9:25 PM (GMT 0)

...when you will quite openly talk to others about your poo and what appeared in the toilet that day the same as if you were chatting about last nights football results!

I've had a good little giggle to myself tonight reading through all these!

Posted 4/5/2011 9:47 PM (GMT 0)
.... when other people mention something bathroom-related, and they blush and apologize for being graphic and change the subject - and you thought it was the just the beginning of an interesting conversation, and were ready to ask all sorts of questions.
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