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Posted 9/15/2009 1:56 AM (GMT 0)
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I just got my medical card in the mail saying I need access to bathrooms in public places. I posted the pic on my facebook and a debate followed as well as some anger on my part.

I took out last names sept for mine since I don't care if you guys know me :D <--I took out your last name anyway for security purposes.  This is an open forum and we discourage the use of last names.  wink


Here's the comments.
Cory: Unfortunately at my business, i get reamed if i let someone in my bathroom. its in my stockroom and its a liability issue. im instructed to state that we have no restroom in the building and refer patrons to the nearest mall restroom (which thankfully is close by)
about an hour ago · Delete

Kara : yes, well even so... this is more of a medical emergency.. not just anyone asking for the restroom.. its serious
about an hour ago · Delete

Joseph: Kara: Excuse me sir, I really have to go potty. I have a disease. Owner: Sry, restroom only for employee's. Kara: I have a card that says U should let me. Owner: Sry, rules are rules. Kara: Fine, Ill just crap on ur floor. Have a good day.
about an hour ago · Delete

Kara : exactly... except it's not a joke.. it would literally happen.
about an hour ago · Delete

Joseph: I know. I wasnt joking. If i was u i would just crap on there floor if they said to Eff off.
about an hour ago · Delete

Kara : :)
56 minutes ago · Delete

Cory: I wouldn't say to eff off, I'd have to lie and say I don't have a restroom in the store... and then clean up a mess lol

My grandma has to wear a colostomy bag, I've seen how tough it is, I'm sowwie :-(
36 minutes ago · Delete

Kara : see i think that's unbelievably ****ed up and messed up that you can't just follow me to the darned restricted bathroom and stay outside the door... its ridiculous that an actual human being would allow another to humiliate themselves in public by having a bowelmovement in a store...instead of making an exception knowing this person has a medical issue and doesnt give a crap about whats back there
34 minutes ago · Delete

Kara : OH and you havent seen anything until you crap in a car and you have to go walk with your soiled pants into a gas station to freaking clean it up.

ID MUCH rather have a bag.
30 minutes ago · Delete

Justin: I would just go in the assumed direction of where the facilities would be and not even bother asking. If they seriously try and stop me...I would look at them and say "Are you seriously going to attempt to prevent this movement?" And if they persist, knock them to the ground and crap on their face.
19 minutes ago · Delete

Kara : lol it just makes me mad that people are so stupid and ignorant. I really wish those people would have ONE day in their lives with a severe case of UC. I'd love to hear them tell me no after that.
18 minutes ago · Delete

Justin: Well, give me an hour and any cooking ingredients I want...I can make your wish come true!
17 minutes ago · Delete

Kara : hahaha......you're silly. Unfortunately it's still not quite the same :-P
15 minutes ago · Delete

Justin: I know its not quite the same...they will suffer though! At least the would get a nice "taste" MWAHAHAHA!
14 minutes ago · Delete

Kara : hahahaha.
11 minutes ago · Delete

Kara : Unfortunately.. I'm not talking only about mall stores.. I'm talking about stores that are independant... not allowing you to go potty.
11 minutes ago · Delete

Cory: Look at it from my side...

I realize that what you go through sucks ass. But if someone produces a card I've never seen, heard of,that demands access to my bathroom that isn't public or visible... No one should know I even have one...I've NEVER seen that happen before, I can get in serious trouble with my supervisor over letting someone in my bathroom, I would just direct you to the nearest bathroom, which is pretty darn close to my store. In the case of an emergency, I'd walk you to it so there wouldn't be a problem of finding it.

The chances of having someone come in who has a valid, real emergency and needs to use a restroom that quick are very low. The chances of me getting in trouble? 99%... Read More
11 minutes ago · Delete

Cory: Obviously, I know you, so if you just so happened to be in my store, I'd definitely let you use my bathroom lol.

Now what does piss me off are gas stations that don't let people use their bathrooms and claim they're "Out of Order" just because the owner is tired of cleaning it. I've picked a lock before to get into a gas station bathroom and it was perfectly fine and clean.
10 minutes ago · Delete

Kara : i know you're not stupid or ignorant it just pisses me the **** off that stores are stupid and ignorant :D
10 minutes ago · Delete

Justin : There is always another side. I don't think you were in the cross hairs, it was a general target to a mass audience.
9 minutes ago · Delete

Cory: Yah, I can understand independent stores that have no bathroom or nearby access to one... that's just stupid.

People have to use restrooms occasionally. If you don't have one nearby, make a public one. Or don't operate a publically open business.
9 minutes ago · Delete

Kara : and over 1.5 million people have those diseases... its not as rare as you think. ITS JUST NOT TALKED about ****ing world.

In the case of a mall store.. its understandable.. cuz there usually are bathrooms nearly around every corner....

im talking more about independant stores.
8 minutes ago · Delete

Kara : I think I'm more mad because I've been in a Crate and Barrel... HUGE store... that wasnt in a mall.. and had an emergency and lady even after i told her i had a stomach disease STILL said SORRY NO BATHROOMS im like ***** IM GONNA ****IN crap ON YOU!
7 minutes ago · Delete

Kara : thankfully across the street there was a burger place and i ran in JUST in time to get on the potty and have awful bloody diahrea :)
7 minutes ago · Delete[img]

Post Edited By Moderator (Red_34) : 9/15/2009 9:09:01 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 9/15/2009 3:01 AM (GMT 0)
I can see how this is a controversial issue. If you have to allow people to use the bathroom, it opens the door to having to allow street people or junkies to use your bathroom. While I understand that everyone needs a bathroom, I also understand that these people may not clean up after themselves and it can be a health liability. It also means a small woman might have to let a big scary man use her bathroom when she is working alone in a store, that is definitely not safe. Sorry but if I were working in a store alone at night, I don't think I can trust that a big, scary man actually wants to use my bathroom and doesn't want to harm me or rob my store. It's a tough call. I think in 99% of the situations you can safely let someone use your bathroom but there is that 1% chance that something bad could happen especially in a small independently owned shop. I think that is why owners are so against letting people use bathrooms, it is unsafe for the employee and probably sets them up for a lawsuit if something happens. It is discriminatory to choose who can use your bathroom and who can't based on looks, so they can't assume you're safe and the person next to you is not.

Not saying I agree with it but the world is full of hateful people. Everyone has to look out for themself. I would never care about the "rules" but I do care about my safety. Maybe it is different because I live in a huge city with a lot of crime. If I lived in a safe town, I would be less worried about something happening.

If I go to a gas station and they won't let me use their bathroom, I leave and go to another gas station. I won't get gas if I have to use the toilet and there is no toilet available. Their loss.

Can't anyone get the IBD card? Even people without IBD?

Can I add you as a friend?

I am playing devils advocate here. Those are the reasons I can see for not letting people into your toilet tongue

Posted 9/15/2009 2:43 PM (GMT 0)

Check this out from a Conn. online newspaper....

http://www.ctnewsjunkie.com/health_care/advocates_seek_bathroom_access.php

Posted 9/15/2009 4:23 PM (GMT 0)

I rarely ask- I'm either in a place where I already know where the bathrooms are (supermarket, library, mall), or I pull over & go on the side of the road, or in the backseat of my car (tinted windows...). And come to think of it- I know where EVERY bathroom is in EVERY store I go into. Even the ones marked "employees only"- I just go into those! I don't shop all that much, so really this whole thing shouldn't be an issue. I mean, in 90% of the places you go to, there are public bathrooms. If someone is that concerned about bathroom access they probably shouldn't go out.

Posted 9/15/2009 4:29 PM (GMT 0)
 If someone is that concerned about bathroom access they probably shouldn't go out.

Oh, this may be true in some cases.  BUT - my pharmacy will not allow the public to use the restroom.  I have to go next door, get the key to the restroom and use it - the Dollar Store. (and considering I am handicap and use a cane)  So, I have to go to the pharmacy for medication and sometimes have to wait for it.  I have to think about planning so I will not have to go when there.  It is not convenient or fun! 

Most of the time I don't have a problem asking and having white hair and using a cane gets me a lot further than you young people I am sure.  You see - we are allowed to have bladder and bowel problems due to our age.  Talk about discrimination - it sort of is!! 

ElaineNY

Posted 9/15/2009 4:56 PM (GMT 0)
Elaine, I'd have to change pharmacies. Seriously, if I'm in a place that has one of those "no public restrooms" signs, I make a point never to go back. If they have the right to not have a public restroom, I have the right to not patronize their business.

If everyone who had IBD or IBS and all of their friends and family boycotted the no public restroom businesses, they might stop thinking it's "too expensive" (their usual excuse) to provide one.
Posted 9/15/2009 5:13 PM (GMT 0)
I'm just glad that here in MI they passed Ally's Law. It is legally forbidden to not allow Ibd'ers access to public restroom no matter where the business is and who owns it. Not that I've had to use one because I typically know where the restrooms are. But there was one time I was in CVS and my daughter had to pee really bad. Luckily they were kind enough to allow us to go in back but they had an employee come with us.
Posted 9/15/2009 5:16 PM (GMT 0)
I can certainly see the point of everyone here, but I can also see the point of the store where THEY are the ones who have to clean up the mess that it seems most people leave after they go, either urinating or bms.

Scares me when people don't actually sit on seats....they squat or stand...and that's women...where aim isn't controlled.

So....just curious....to those who do use public washrooms...do you clean up after yourself too?

I've never had to use a washroom in public where I couldn't hold it, thankfully...as of yet.

q
Posted 9/15/2009 5:34 PM (GMT 0)
eyes  Scares me when people don't actually sit on seats....they squat or stand...and that's women...where aim isn't controlled.

Oh, quincy now you have hit a subject I get really mad about.  Yes, I always clean up after myself.

I also, clean up after others when the seat is wet and JUST when I have to really hurry that is the time someone peed on the seat - YUCK!!  I have bad arthritis so squatting is not a choice I have.  YUCK YUCK YUCK!!

ElaineNY

Posted 9/15/2009 6:02 PM (GMT 0)
I'm not sure what you mean- if I pee on the seat, yes I wipe it. And I check out the seat before I sit on it to see if it needs wiping. But, there have been times when the urge is there, I'm basically pooping my pants, that I have sat down on a dirty toilet seat. Not filthy, thank god, but a little damp.... gross.... But, I go home & shower ASAP, so.... See, this is why I prefer to go outside, if the urge hits- no worries about nasty public bathrooms, just squat & go.

Posted 9/15/2009 6:16 PM (GMT 0)
I check before and after too. And I always clean up my messes, if I make them.

I do carry antiseptic wipes in my purse to use as needed - grocery carts, telephones, toilet seats, etc.
Posted 9/15/2009 6:39 PM (GMT 0)
I'm not really sure Adam. Probably drop everything I had in my arms and made a beeline for home (which is only 5 minutes away) and never go there again.
Posted 9/15/2009 7:46 PM (GMT 0)

sweetmelody said...

Here's the comments.
Cory: Unfortunately at my business, i get reamed if i let someone in my bathroom. its in my stockroom and its a liability issue. im instructed to state that we have no restroom in the building and refer patrons to the nearest mall restroom (which thankfully is close by)·

Unfortunately, when I'm in a flare, I might not make it to the nearest mall restroom (which thankfully is close by). When the poo hits the inflamed part of my colon (which is near the rectum), I have trouble holding it in for even one second. I get chills that run up my spine when I try holding it in. It will be difficult for me just to make it to the bathroom in the stockroom. As for the liability issue, there could be liability issues if I'm not allowed to use the bathroom. It's humiliating to poo in ones pants in public. Moreover, there is a higher chance that I'll poo in public than I'll have something to complain about for using the bathroom. Luckily for Cory, I'm not the type that sues.

I remember once that I had to use the bathroom at Public Storage. It was obvious from my expression that I needed to use it ASAP. The woman at the desk gave me her key ring, which had a ton of keys on it. She didn't even take the time to take the bathroom key off the chain. She gave me all the keys. And I'm living in a state in which she could have refused me. Talk about liability issues. I really appreciated that she let me use the bathroom.

There was another time, I was at the post office. They refused to let me use their bathroom. They were too scared to. I dropped my packages on the counter (despite their fear of what was in them) and ran out the door. Needless to say, I didn't make it home in time. I cleaned myself up, came back in fresh pants and mailed off the packages. The car smelled like poo for some time after that.
Posted 9/15/2009 11:26 PM (GMT 0)
about 2 years, I was picking up parts for my repair shop about 50 miles away from where I work. The area is very ghetto and has lots of druggies at just about every corner. I got the urge to go and I barely made it to this gas station. Mind you I was driving around about 5mins with urgency. I ask the attendant for the key to the restroom and he says its out of order. I tell him I really need to go and Im willing to pay to use it. Still he gives me the same excuse. I even hand him a $20 and he wont budge. Finally I started to unzip my pants and tell him Im taking a crap on his floor. The look on his face was priceless. He hands me the keys immediately and I go and use the restroom. Guess what the restroom was in working order...

Anyway I have plenty of other stories like this too. Seemed relevant to this thread. The crap we UC'ers have to put up with..
Posted 9/15/2009 11:29 PM (GMT 0)
Well put -- thanks for the snicker..
The crap we UC'ers have to put up with..


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posted 9/16/2009 12:14 AM (GMT 0)
I always clean up after myself in a restroom. I don't usually make a mess but I have no problem wiping a seat before or after. Of course, before wiping a seat, I look for a cleaner stall. I don't think it is the norm to clean up after yourself - I find that most public bathrooms are pretty dirty.

Pretty funny Doz, I would have liked to have seen his face.

Posted 9/16/2009 12:40 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks guys, Sorry Sherry.. I was so upset at the time of post that I forgot to edit the cursing...and thanks for taking out my last name anyways.

I always clean up after myself in bathrooms, but usually don't have that issue anyways cuz I always sit on the toilet... (with tp under my bottom...sometimes not if I'm in a hurry to potty) I do clean up after the other person before me though. I will never understand how people don't clean up after themselves.

I just guess I get really upset because I have crapped in my car because a gas station or an independant store wouldn't let me use their bathroom. It's not just like.. I have to go BAD.. It's I HAVE TO GO RIGHT NOW!

Anyways.. I just wanted to know if this topic upset anybody else.
Posted 9/16/2009 12:49 AM (GMT 0)
I would imagine womens restrooms are a lot cleaner than mens. I mean some of the restrooms I've had to use have been absolutely disgusting, like porto potty flies buzzing around and poop on the seat dirty but hey what choice do I have. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

Funny thing is before this disease, I couldnt even imagine pooping anywhere but home. I once held it in for 4 days on a camping trip because I didnt want to use the public restroom there. Once I got this disease, it totally opened up my mind on what other people with sicknesses have to deal with. Overall it made me a lot more symphathetic to others conditions but I also understand where the closed minded people are coming from as well.

If you've never had to deal with a disability or have someone close to you that has to deal with it, you generally have no idea how to treat or deal with those people. Its much easier to keep your distance and treat them like lepers instead of trying to understand what they're going through.

I gotta say I love this board. It gives me a chance to vent and speak my mind that I really cant share with anyone else due to no one else close to me having to deal with anything even remotely close to UC.
Posted 9/16/2009 12:51 AM (GMT 0)

supersaw said...

But what do you guys do if your on a highway and it's like 20 min to a rest stop and you get the immediate urge?

Last time it happened, I pulled over next exit and pooped behind a trash can while praying that no one comes around the corner. If I had to go real bad, Id have no issue going on the side of the freeway behind a bush or tree.
Posted 9/16/2009 12:59 AM (GMT 0)
honestly, I would probably poop in the car... thankfully so far I haven't been in that situation where I couldn't get off next exit. Seriously though... I wouldn't mind going in some bushes.

I remember I made it on a 5 hour trip to the Austin airport from Dallas... better flights are why we didn't go to DFW airport. Anyways... Got all the way to the parking lot.. I tried to make it out of the car, but I couldn't stop it... i pooped my pants right in the airport parking lot 5 hrs away from home. I had to wipe myself up as good as possible in the car and then walk soiled pants into airport and change in the bathroom. Ugh.

Oh..and Doz.. you'd be surprised... women are pretty darned nasty.. It's amazing what you may find in a women's bathroom.
Posted 9/16/2009 6:20 PM (GMT 0)

supersaw said...

sweetmelody said...

honestly, I would probably poop in the car... thankfully so far I haven't been in that situation where I couldn't get off next exit. Seriously though... I wouldn't mind going in some bushes.

I remember I made it on a 5 hour trip to the Austin airport from Dallas... better flights are why we didn't go to DFW airport. Anyways... Got all the way to the parking lot.. I tried to make it out of the car, but I couldn't stop it... i pooped my pants right in the airport parking lot 5 hrs away from home. I had to wipe myself up as good as possible in the car and then walk soiled pants into airport and change in the bathroom. Ugh.

Oh..and Doz.. you'd be surprised... women are pretty darned nasty.. It's amazing what you may find in a women's bathroom.

That sucks but I can understand, when you feel you're close to the crapper then the urge gets worse. That's why stopping at a gas station for a great relief is pretty much death if that restroom is out of order and your body was already planning to "empty itself".

I've totally done that too.. my husband SWORE this gas station would have a bathroom... and I was already trying my butt off to not go potty yet.... I said NO NO ITS TOO SMALL NO BATHROOM... he was like YES THERE IS. I said ok.. but if I get out to go and there isn't one I won't make it... got up...got to the door and he said no bathroom and I went in the car and bam ...pooped my pants
Posted 9/16/2009 10:01 PM (GMT 0)
Kara, just a FYI - Healingwell has a word censor so it wasn't me that ** out the cuss words smilewinkgrin
Posted 9/16/2009 11:01 PM (GMT 0)
lol thanks...i seriously didn't even realize when i posted... so upset ha. I'm cool now tho.
Posted 9/17/2009 2:07 PM (GMT 0)
I gotta ask, where did you get that card? I'm Canadian and I've been looking to find one for ages!
Posted 9/17/2009 5:45 PM (GMT 0)
http://myibd.org/RestroomMedalert/index.php
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