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You know you have Colitis when...

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Ulcerative Colitis
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Posted 4/8/2010 9:32 PM (GMT 0)
You KNOW you have UC when you KNOW that the TP with aloe lanolin and lotion were MADE JUST FOR YOU!
Posted 4/11/2010 1:03 PM (GMT 0)
You often think about the days when you only had to poop once per day and it was in solid form.
Posted 4/11/2010 3:35 PM (GMT 0)
This is the best thread ever! I haven't laughed so hard in who knows when!!

The flashlight, the reading material (though usually I don't have time to read), the stock of TP, knowing the brands, being the family/friend colonoscopy advisor....

I am the first one my family/friends call when they have prolonged D and need advice.
Posted 4/12/2010 12:25 AM (GMT 0)
You know you have UC if you saw the seat of my truck! ;)
Posted 4/12/2010 11:22 AM (GMT 0)
When you read this thread and shake your head saying "Yep! Yep! So true!". :)
Posted 4/12/2010 1:16 PM (GMT 0)
Anthony - one of my biggest fears - soiling the seat of my new Lincoln!  Last car my husband soiled the seat on the way home from surgery - no control!  GEEZ!  At least he would understand if anyone would!

ElaineNY

Posted 4/12/2010 5:40 PM (GMT 0)

When if one more person says about food "everything in moderation", your want to say "how about you take a tall glass of ex-lax, followed by jalapeno peppers....enjoy THIS in moderation"

When you arrive to the ski resort a few mins before your buddies get there, decide to sneak in a poo in peace, they arrive, catch a smell and one says "Well, Captain Colitis is here"

When you feel a fart coming on and you stop walking, look at your significant other and say "hold on.................................ok..just air" and are super relieved

You guys are the best!! Great thread - good laugh!!

Posted 4/13/2010 1:24 PM (GMT 0)
when you have to change your own pants after an accident more often than you do your toddlers

Posted 4/14/2010 12:58 AM (GMT 0)
When you wear diapers! .... I will admit, yeah, I wear em. I prolly should have been wearing them a year ago, but I was too stubborn thanks to all the Italian blood in me ;). The funny thing is, I haven't had an accident in them yet. A lot of anxiety I would assume it is alleviating. BTW, the guy at the FORD shop asked me what happened to my seat (it is that bad) ... I just told him that I spilled chinese food all over it one day. He was like: "Dude, I know what you mean". In my mind I was like: "Dude, you have no f'in clue!" ;)
Posted 4/14/2010 6:20 AM (GMT 0)
ewww, pretty gross Anthony!
Posted 4/14/2010 9:29 AM (GMT 0)
LOL this thread just gets better and better! Brings me smiles
Posted 4/14/2010 2:41 PM (GMT 0)
Ok this one happened to me last night and it's not the first time:

When you have dreams about poo'ing.
Posted 4/14/2010 2:56 PM (GMT 0)
JM21204- LOL that happens to me too!!
Posted 4/14/2010 3:02 PM (GMT 0)
JM, one time I had a dream that I used the bathroom and I kept trying to get someone to come into the bathroom to tell them that there is something seriously wrong with me and my poo but no one seen interested and ignored me! But I've had A LOT of dreams involving poo! LOL
Posted 4/14/2010 3:17 PM (GMT 0)
That's a good one. I can relate. I've had dreams in which I didn't make it to the toilet, and it wasn't because I needed to pee.
Posted 4/14/2010 5:23 PM (GMT 0)
OMG, yes - the DREAMS!!! lol
Posted 4/14/2010 5:40 PM (GMT 0)
When you finish almost an entire Master's thesis on the toilet with the laptop and my notes. Notes done on the toilet too. Really. Too bad my job would not let me work from the bathroom.
Posted 4/15/2010 4:20 AM (GMT 0)
Haha, I can relate to almost all of these!

When you can read the back of a soap bottle like it's the best novel ever.

When you have to ask if the place has a bathroom before you decide to go somewhere with a friend.

When you can't even make your GI appointment because you're stuck on the toilet.

When you talk to yourself in your mind in the car. Saying things like, "Come on, you can make it! Just get there! There's a bathroom there! You can do it! Just squeeeeze! Come on!"

When you start to section out the time it takes to get somewhere. For instance: "Okay it's a 30 minute drive... just make it 15 minutes.. that's not long... (15 minutes into it) "make it 5 more minutes.. if you need to go you can pull over" (10 minutes into it) That's just TWO rounds of 5 minutes.. WOO HOO! (3 minutes away) Just around the corner now!!!!

When you don't even care anymore if the public restroom is dirty or not... you just want a bathroom period.
Posted 4/19/2010 10:51 AM (GMT 0)
... when you have a roll of paper towels in your car, and use them

... when you are the master of flushing and washing your hands while on the phone without people noticing

malkavian- apparently not hanging out with too many 20 something guys... totally abundant in poop related conversation
durangokid- yeah 3 hours early is good, if you have that luxury than you wont have to endure my old routine!

get up, toilet, shower, toilet again (the worst, i hate to shower than crap), drive, crap in woods off highway, get on train into nyc and then hold it all the way to the office. thank god those days are over
Posted 4/19/2010 4:12 PM (GMT 0)
when you learn how to say (bathroom) in 7 languages
Posted 4/19/2010 4:28 PM (GMT 0)
Haha, I dream all the time that I got up to go to the bathroom but I really didn't and then I wonder why I still have to go. Actually, this is an all night thing. I'm up every hour and then spend the other 59 minutes fretting about having to go and dreaming about it.
Posted 4/22/2010 10:37 PM (GMT 0)
yeah  You have the bathroom remodeled,'cause you want a nicer room to spend your time in.
Posted 4/22/2010 11:21 PM (GMT 0)
You run to the bathroom and it's not because you need to pee.
Posted 4/23/2010 6:55 PM (GMT 0)
You know you have UC when you sit in your GI's waiting room and wonder how the hell he got away with putting only one bathroom (unisex) in the waiting room.
Posted 4/23/2010 8:15 PM (GMT 0)
The last time I was in my GI's waiting room I got to overhear a conversation between two assistants. They were complaining bitterly about having to clean the bathroom. I felt sorry for them.
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