Shame of IBD

So I'm seeing a therapist to work on some "stuff" and of course UC came up. She says in her 30 years of practicing she's never met someone so ashamed of having an IBD. I told her that speaking of UC is not exactly the same thing as mentioning going for physio for a sore shoulder - she DISAGREED!

I told her that the top ten words associated with this disease : stool, diareah, blood, mucus, bowel, etc weren't words that were comfortably used by most people. I had to explain the shame I felt around carrying boxes of enemas home, using enemas, going for procedures. Then there's the uncomfortableness that other people have ( the few that know) asking how my 'tummy' is - anything to avoid the word bowel.

I am very grateful that it is not cancer or MS or Parkinsons, I count my blessings, I really do. I admit tho that as shallow as it may sound, I have shame associated with this condition.

Can anyone relate to this?

i'd find a different therapist, maybe one who can exhibit a little empathy. this is hard to talk about and even harder to deal with, but it is nothing to be ashamed about. every night i put my almost 6 year old in a diaper. several times he's told me he doesn't want to be a baby. i say wearing a diaper doesn't make him a baby, it just keeps him from waking up covered in poop. using an enema doesn't make you a freak, it helps keep you healthy. i hope you can find a way to change your outlook on this, being ashamed just makes it all harder. know that we are here for you.

Many of us (most?) are high achievers or at least have high goals for ourselves and our lives, so it hurts our sense of self-image to be un-normal. I don't want the pharmacy tech to blare out what my condition is, that's my business.

I'm not ashamed of having UC but I also don't want everyone in the world to know it, in the same way I don't want them to know my bank balance or my exact age

I agree that your therapist does not understand the emotional difference between physio and UC, not a good sign.

Not to make less of our condition since I know the depths of UC well but I read a biography of Lauren Hillenbrand who wrote "Seabiscuit". She has chronic fatigue syndrome, some days unable to rise from bed and days she cannot leave home or even go downstairs, and there is no operation to make that better.

And of course we can be grateful we don't have inoperable cancer. We have UC with it's myriad unpleasant life-altering symptoms. I think the worst thing is it's hard to get sympathy for it from people who don't have it because it's not "nice". They cannot imagine that an adult cannot control their bowels. And it is not discussed in polite company.

We are not alone. We have HealingWell friends who know what our life is like, really know. For this I am grateful.

It's the luck of the draw...some people go through life for the most part well and others not so well, some die prematurely from their afflictions, some have problems that although not fatal can cause embarssement, pain or both, some even need to have their loved ones clean them after a bowel movement because they aren't able, and some aren't even fortunate enough to have someone to help clean them; but I assure you there is nothing ever to be ashamed of, nothing.

Be well

I was wasted away from a flare. And my then therapist said, "Women would kill to look like you." I didn't go back. Find another therapist.

I have always been a very open person so it doesn't make me feel ashamed at all to talk about it or to buy enemas or anything. I talk about it with all of my co-workers, family members... I post about it openly on my Facebook and everything. I mean, everybody poops! We just go a little more and a lot more gross than most! And we can't help it. I have found out people I know have UC because I am so open about it... I just found out my best friends dad has it! My hair stylists brother has it. And a girl I went to college with has it. Makes you feel not so alone... Just like being on this forum, but different because you personally know them! For me it's more of a 'why in the hell am I so unlucky that I have to have this disease in the first place' kind of feeling. Not shame. But I can understand how you would feel that way. Just remember... Everybody has blood, mucus, and stool that comes out of their body in some way, shape, or form!

i use to feel embarrassed or ashamed. But the more I share with friends/family, the better I feel. I remember being on a business trip with two colleagues. Ate a normal lunch. normal meaning nothing that I knew would trigger me. Wound up in the bathroom for probably 20min. 10min of wiping alone :-( I've had doors broken down by people who couldn't wait b/c I was still in the bathroom :-( Now looking back it's funny, because like someone else said, we all have to use the bathroom.

I became even more understanding this past weekend, a bunch of us were on a get-a-way and one day I mentioned to a friend, bad day, 5 times to the bathroom today, and only one was substantial. She replied she's gone 7 times today. I was floored. She is a healthy young fit girl, and from alcohol the previous night(I don't drink) went numerous times. And she was SO normal, SO happy, SO unaffected by it. It really makes me think that I shouldn't be so down if I have to go a bunch.