Telling boyfriend about UC

The point of my post is that most, not all, women do not want to be a mother to their significant others. The romantic aspect of the relationship is finished. Again, you can disagree or agree but if a man isn't giving emotional support to his woman, is being babied by his woman, and is sucking up all the emotional support in the relationship, the romance will go as well. A woman needs emotional support in a romantic relationship for it to be successful, and while men need some emotional support it's not high on our list. Men aren't very emotional as you can tell; we're more logical. Yes, that is the reason men don't talk about their feelings. Yes, there are differences in the genders.   So hopefully we can all agree that women need to be emotionally supported in a loving, romantic relationship. 

Now, Subdued I must have touched a nerve about your life because of the lashing dished out by you. It was a personal attack, in my opinion. Obviously, you're not getting the emotional support you need in your relationship because your boyfriend can't show it.   I don't know the details of your relationship, but you'd have a more fulfilling relationship if you were getting emotional support from your significant other, wouldn't you agree?

Then again, some women thrive on being a mother(or playing the mother role) to their significant others.  Does that describe you?   It makes these women feel needed and important, and no doubt psycholologically unhealthy.  Without exception, a romantic relationship cannot exist under these circumstances. 

I don't know about most other guys here, I don't want my girlfriend being my mother. That's just my opinion, and about most men's.

As far as dating women that are like my mother, no thanks.  I have one mother who loves me, and that's all I need. 

Post Edited (blueclassring) : 3/27/2011 2:45:08 PM (GMT-6)

Again, I think people respond to these things differently.  Men respond differently than women.  Men respond with "how can I help?", what can I do to make it easier for her,  and the tangibles.  Men usually don't respond with too much emotional support.   Women usually respond with emotional support and understanding and compassion. 

I think if the "disease" becomes your identity(meaning we dwell on it constantly, talk about it, make it a problem, complain, whine), it becomes a problem for the significant other as well. 

While I don't hide the fact I have it I don't go into gross detail about it either. I did with my ex, whom I lived with and was practically married to... I needed the support, and she had to deal with it too, but with the girl I'm currently dating I'm fairly vague. She knows I have "stomach problems" and even UC specifically (her dad has Crohn's apparently) but I don't go into it very much. Of course it's easier to be like that when you have it semi-under control.. though I have indeed hid my use of enemas from her for now... because that's just plain weird. ;)

To echo what some others have said, it gets easier for others to accept the older you get. At 30 I find the more and more of the people I meet have health issues or baggage of some variety. *shrug*

And Mags... I hate to mean, but if the guy is so shallow to leave you or treat you badly because he thinks you're "flawed"... :/

Ha ha, you have me laughing Kiolm! You are so right; Dudes with UC typically do not have a beer gut! Sorry; I've taken this off topic.

I told my GF right in the first few dates about the UC because it was important for me to see how she reacts before I let the relationship move any further. This is something they need to understand and be willing and able to handle. Fortunately for me she was ok with it. She spent some time doing her own research (cried a lot, she told me later) and then she told me that she understands it and she thinks I am worth it. I went thru a major flare right when our relationship got serious and she has been the perfect support for me. I guess I got really lucky!

about the GF being the mother, I guess what that means is that they need to able to think of you first. This is a lot easier said than done. Human nature is to think of how things affect them first. Only a mother would always think of the sufferings of the child before how it affects her. I think it's ok that the GF doesn't think like the mother as long as she doesn't make it all about her.

about looking young, I don't know if it's the side effect of all the medicines, herbs, stuff... but my hair turns from gray back to black. I have, at times pulled out hair that are white at the top and black at the bottom. Has any of you guys notices this? My GF is totally jealous.