Going back to work and dealing with extreme anxiety

Hello Everyone,
I haven't posted in a while because things have been going well. I haven't worked for 4 1.5 years and that ends tomorrow. I start a new part time job and am flaring (of course). I don't get my next course of IVIG for another month and honestly I think this is anxiety more than anything as IVIG is very effective.

My thoughts are probably about the same issues you go through...the hour long drive, what if I'm in a meeting and have to go, what if I have an accident, etc etc.

A big fear is dealing with the food issues. Even if I'm not flaring after I usually go within 10min after eating. At home or running errands it's ok, I just don't go out until after the bathroom. What do I do at work around food? What if people ask why I don't eat? Or what if they want to go to lunch?

How do you guys handle these things?
Has anyone just come out and said "I have colitis" and left it at that? I don't think I'll be doing that until after probation and benefits kick it but sometimes I'm tempted to just stop hiding and stop feeling so ashamed.

My plan of attack is 1 immodium and 2 capsules of metamucil 3 x daily and that should get me into a controlled flare along with 800mgx 6 asacol and cortifoam.

Thanks everyone,

Ruby

Good luck Ruby. It sounds like you have a good plan. With any luck you won't find it as bad as you think. I think you should feel your way and don't make any hard and fast decisions just yet. Some of it probably is nerves. My guts get quite active when I'm nervous. Immodium is a good idea just for the peace of mind. The first day is always the worst.
Let us know how you go.

Ruby what medication do you take? Does your doctor know that you are starting to work?

Yes it is a good idea to take clothing with you in case you need to change.

 

I hope you get good medication because without any you won't do as well. I cross my fingers for you.

if youre going within 10 minutes after eating i woud think that you would still be considered in a flare because that means you have urgency which is caused by inflammation.

Eat light while at work but it shouldn't matter too much. You are at work so you can use the restroom whenever you want. I work on the road so that's a totally different situation. Stop worrying about it so much and you should be fine.

well...

i solved this problem in a verry simple way: i've told anyone i know: hey peple i have UC.

they said: what is that?

i've said: i shi-t faster and harder and more than any of you can.

this put an end to all the questions regarding what i eat, how i eat, when i eat, what i am doing in the bathroom and so on. and i am living a happy life with my co-workers :)

Ruby,

I don't know if this works for all people but when driving if I feel it coming on I take deep breathes and calm myself.. I focus on just the road and block everything out.. I normally start to sweat and the pain is excruciating but 9 times out of 10 I can fight it off until I make it to a tim hortons or McDonalds... I also intentionally take a route that drives by public bathrooms in case I have to make a stop or two.

At work, I just told everyone about it.. It's a medical condition and is nothing to be ashamed of. When people see me running to the washroom they know lol.

Anyways, Good luck at your new job!

Kyle

Hi Everyone thanks for the responses.

Alinus too funny! LivingAgain...very right and I should know better.
No nuts for me right now. No raw veggies, fruit, salads etc.

I've had a horrid 4.5 years but IVIG seems to put me in remission, until this anxious flare. I have no blood or mucus so it does lead me to believe this was more anxiety. After all it's been so long since I've worked!

Well I made it through my first day with immodium. It helps but if I don't eat it seems to cause mucus. A main problem is there is no privacy in that I share a room with 5 people so taking my meds makes it difficult; as does taking a few minutes if I don't feel well.

I work in a mental health facility where my client sessions are video taped, so darting out the room and leaving a potentially unsafe client alone is a problem.

If I do eat even with immodium I have excessive gas. I had yogurt and a couple of raisins. At home and had fish and now you could run your car off me!! So eating at work is more difficult. Tried lots of things to rid myself of gas, but nothing works.

Even I know that I'll eventually just have to casually say "I have colitis." The time has come to stop hiding. But I think it's best I wait until my probation of 6 months is over.

My urgency is terrible too. So by the time I've thought "I need to pull over to find a bathroom" I've gone. I worry about being in meetings etc. The look on my face says it all and I too break out in a sweat. Will try the breathing suggestion Kyle.

I'll have to find ways to cope in the mean time, like all of us. I'm going to try and work so I don't have to go in consecutive days and try to not be there early mornings when I'm really bad.

Anyway I am proud of myself for applying for this job, interviewing and procuring employment. I have every legitimate reason to remain on disability, but I wanted more. I'm too young to retire even if I have an illness :)

Ruby

Dear ruby, I applaud your incredible courage. If your having such urgency can you maybe change medications,add one, change dosage, try a new one ? Maybe try to get stabilized on a better regime. It dosen't seem like the colitis is under control.telling people is hard and embarrassing especially with new co workers. I think waiting 6 months is a good plan. As far as eating I would try apple sauce or chicken soup...easy to digest. Best of luck and keep your chin up. Don't let fear take over it makes the symptoms worse. Better days are coming. Keep your faith and hope up. I bet you are great at what your doing. our struggles with this rotten illness help us to be compassionate toward others.