I know what you mean - I was so depressed driving home after picking up the prescript
ion, thinking that after all these years its come to taking this. All I can think about
is 'what if I'd done this??....would I be sick?'. Wondering if I wouldn't be in this situation if I hadn't listened to the inexperience previous doctor I had and had instead insisted on seeing the senior doctor I see now. I could kick myself for letting the other doctor make me feel like I was crazy for thinking I had UC and for letting him convince me to stop my meds. I'm trying not to think about
it too but I know how hard that is. Especially wondering if this medicine will somehow shorten my life in some way or harm me. I guess UC harms us too but its not like we want to cause even more harm to our bodies!
It didn't help when the pharmacist told me I was taking a 'high' dose - 125mg is a 'high' dose, what does that mean??? I thought transplant patients too even higher doses of this stuff!
I know I want my normal life back though to be able to do all the things I could do before for so long in remission. I don't want to feel sick all the time and spend everyday thinking about this disease - I just want to go back to not thinking about it at all and living my life.
I really hope this drug helps both of us!
I'm starting right at 125mg tonight with dinner, so hopefully it doesn't affect me too much. Hang in there, if this makes us feel better hopefully in the end we'll be glad we did it!