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Dr./Patient "Transference" - Has anyone had this happen?

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Posted 10/6/2012 6:25 PM (GMT 0)
Hi all!

I thought I'd throw this topic out for discussion and am interested to hear thoughts/stories.

I connected with a new GI doc back in May when I went into a flare for the first time in 6 years. I didn't choose him, he was assigned to me randomly since he was the GI doc on call that night in the ER. Almost immediately (i.e. the second I met him) I felt like I was developing romantic feelings for him and I still can't shake these feelings. (I have no intention of acting on this since I'm sure this probably happens to him all the time, btw). I've heard about this happening - where you think you're falling for someone who "saves" you in a time of crisis and wonder if that is what's happening. If so, what do I do? Switch doctors? I should mention he is hands down the best GI doc I've ever had and has managed my case very well. This has never happened to me before with another GI doc, either!
Posted 10/6/2012 7:05 PM (GMT 0)
laurar, this situation has happened to me more than once, so i know how you feel. i don't know why you'd want to switch doctors if you say he's the best GI doc you've had... and especially if you like him! that would make me want to stick with him haha
Posted 10/6/2012 7:39 PM (GMT 0)
Lol, yeah I guess it is making going to the Dr more fun! It's just making it awkward for me to talk about my bowel habits with him, and I wonder if I'd feel more comfortable talking about the real nitty gritty with someone I feel no attraction for. I'll probably get over it eventually. It's an interesting phenomenon.
Posted 10/6/2012 7:48 PM (GMT 0)
I think it's a natural thing to have an attraction for another who is caring and shows empathy and "saves" you in time of crisis.

You'll put it into a proper perspective eventually....but at least you'll look forward to your appointments..lol.

Put a huge positive to the fact that you're recognising it.

q
Posted 10/6/2012 7:52 PM (GMT 0)
That's interesting. Do you think he realizes it? If he does know, you think help might be uncomfortable having you as a patient. I would think not, considering he is a professional, but you never know, he might not be 100% himself/doctor if he senses something from you. shrugs.
Posted 10/6/2012 8:22 PM (GMT 0)
Oh boy...
I am in the same situation.. altough it's not with my GI but with an alternative doctor... I agree with Quincy that it's a very good thing that you realize it's transference. Just like you , I felt attracted to him the minute I saw him, and I still feel the same way (and think about him a lot) and I have been seeing him for a year and a half (and I have seen him often). I think , yes a lot has to do with the fact that the person is there for us, has empathy and really listens to us , and the beautiful part is, we don't have to do anything for them!

I think finding a very good GI is not that easy, so I would'nt change doctor unless it makes you feel very uncomfortable, but it's up to you. If he feels that you're attracted to him, I don't think he would make a big deal out of it, like you said, these things happen very often, and I think they learn how to deal with that in school

Post Edited (boumboumbambino) : 10/6/2012 2:25:05 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/6/2012 10:26 PM (GMT 0)
@Quincy - Thank you! Yes, the recognition factor feels very empowering.

@maroonbanjo - I'm guessing it's probably really obvious to him (I have a terrible poker face), but I've been super careful not to say or do anything inappropriate. I hope he doesn't feel uncomfortable, he doesn't act like it or anything.

@bouboumbambino - Wow, yes this sounds exactly like how I've been feeling. I have one more appt with him later this month and then (hopefully!) won't have to see him for a long time since I've been in remission. I'm hoping the feelings will subside during the long period of not seeing him.
Posted 10/7/2012 2:18 AM (GMT 0)
just remember, he is still a guy so keep these things in mind next time you see him or think (dream) of him :

he picks his nose (often in public)
he farts
he forgets important dates (birthdays, anniversaries, etc.)
he gives himself whiplash everytime a cute girl walks by (even if he's with his wife or girlfriend)
he loves himself unconditionally
he cuts his toenails once a year and leaves them on the carpet
he lets the dog lick his plate
he has about a 40% accuracy rate when he pees

hope these help :-)
Posted 10/7/2012 2:43 AM (GMT 0)
Well I don't know if it helps Laurar at all, but it gave me my laugh for the day. Cheers!
Posted 10/7/2012 4:49 AM (GMT 0)
I agree with Quincy. For sure this happens to many patients who are "saved" by a doctor, in many specialty practices. An elderly relative of mine once told her hubby that she did not want to move to Florida (from Conn.) for retirement because she would have to leave her cardiologist. Her husband accepted the situation! That doctor had helped her to deal with 2 open heart surgeries. / Old Hat (32 yrs with left-sided UC; presently in remission taking brandname Colazal)
Posted 10/7/2012 6:02 AM (GMT 0)
Wow i didn't knw stuff like that existed! Its the sort of stuff that happens in movies...
I guess thats one of the reasons i stick with my female GI, eventhough she is not the best.
Posted 10/7/2012 6:16 AM (GMT 0)
Definitely glad this didn't happen to me. He's overweight, balding, rambles and I question his credibility and intelligence.
If the first half of that didn't repulse me, than the last part did.

My friend had throat surgery done a few years back, and man she played the transference card like you wouldn't believe.

No harm to it though.
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