Dating? How in the world?

Not a bad article DMC!

I especially like these words [quote]The key is to control your ulcerative colitis, so it doesn’t control your life.

"When you have a chronic illness, there's a tendency to place your identity with the disease itself," says Kim. "'You happen to have ulcerative colitis. That doesn't define who you are. When you go to college, you don't put your life on hold because you have this disease.”

Somedude said...
I wouldn't date anyone. I'm single right now. I plan on staying single for as long as I have UC.

It's dumb, going into a relationship with this type of problem invites more headaches.

Ohh honey, I don't feel well, ohh I shat my pants, ohh this oohh that, nobody that's healthy needs to live with someone that has ungoing issues like that.

Shiiiiiit, I have U.C. and I would be annoyed if my partner was always sick.

I don't plan on having U.C. forever. Either I manage to control it effectively or I have surgery.

Yeah, I'm the same. Still hoping that i'm going to be able to get rid of UC without surgery

I'm up by thousand oaks!

I'm 28 years old, and dating for marriage.

My present online dating profile tells that I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease as I was graduating high school. I tell in my profile that at times the my health is a challenge and I am humbled by my loss of control over things, but that I never give up and that I will always be strong and persevere in any way I can. It's allowed me to be truly myself, and to take that anxiety away from pretending to be something I'm not.

Meeting women randomly in person I don't bring UC up right away. It falls into my story of who I am though, so I prefer to explain that my life is the way it is because of the way UC has directed my life. This usually will happen within 3-4 dates.

I personally wouldn't be comfortable spending nights together with a woman that I hadn't even told such an important fact of myself to.

Also... the physically intimate experiences I've had were with women I was very comfortable with. If things turned romantic and I was unsure if I could make it through without needing to use the restroom, I'd just stop and use the restroom before things got too far. The women were understanding and it never at all killed the mood.

Do what you are comfortable with. At first there will be moments when you'll be trying to politely finish listening in a conversation before you make a mad rush for the bathroom. You will probably be nervous and sit on the pot two hours before going out for your first date. You'll try to pick activities near restrooms, without it being obvious that that's what you're doing. Those are normal. Just try to find people that are sympathetic to your situation and who don't mind waiting around while you figure out how you're feeling. I've seemed to find that many women are this way. It's a non-issue for me anymore, in regards to being worried about it turning them off or making moments weird.

Greg, im me anytime! You got a friend!

DMC2011,

My e-mail is under my profile,  feel free to e-mail me.  it will be nice to have someone to talk to who can relate. By the way I don't know your first name.  At 51 I'm feeling old not sure how to Im.  Will have to ask my daughter.

Greg

Post Edited (I need help) : 10/28/2012 7:57:32 AM (GMT-6)

Wow Bootstrap, you blog is A.maz.ing. just amazing. YOu look awesome girl! I just got down to my 5% loss at WW today and I am going for 7 more pounds. I am hoping with a good bodyweight I will feel better. I know for a fact that smaller meals are a must for me!

You got to live your life, if your currently in a bad flare, I can understand now wanting to, that would be hard, but otherwise go for it. You can't allow this to rule your life, especially if your mostly under control.

As far as bringing it up, I'd give it a little time, but not to long. To early and it could scare them away, to late, and they could get mad, not to mention you don't want to waste a lot of time with someone that doesn't want to be involved with somone with this disease. So play it out, you'll know when it is best to bring it up.

RSTOCUM:

You are way to young to give up.  If you are not a jerk and are basically a good guy, then a woman is going to want to be with you.

There, I just answered my own questions!  I decided that I am not this disease and yes, if were in a bad flare, then that would be hard.

Yesterday after some wine on saturday night, I had to stay home and take it easy, but that was okay!  I am fine today, as well as can be expected.

But listen, I am able to work, get out and about, enjoy walking and hiking (where I know where the bathrooms are) and also live normally. 

RESTOCUM, you are too young to give up.  And as far as sex I am not even considering that, but dating is not sex.  So I think I can DATE and get to know someone.  Gone are the days of the one night stands anyway!  So go have some fun, date if you can and try to live normally.   IF I met a man who is whole and doesn't have a poopy prob and he was a jerk over a man who has poopy issues (but is clean and careful) then I would choose poopy pants!

That is what I am going to try to do.  If I meet someone where I feel like I can have SEX THEN I will decide if I trust them enough for that, I can trust them enough to hear my whoas.  Then they can make the choice. 

 

Don't know if anyone has already suggested this but...are there any UC, IBD (or related) support groups in your area?

Might be a good place to meet people who would understand your limitations.

Rich: You are selling yourself short. First, there are many people who have health issues and date. UC isn't the only health issue in the world. Second, everyone has their good points and bad points. Surely you could offer more as a possible suitor than many others. Third, there are women who think there is more to life than having the perfectly healthy male. Fourth, you could always date women who aren't perfect themselves. Maybe they have a health issue of some sort and are sitting home thinking who could possibly want them?

Are your potential prospects cut down? Sure they are, but, there are still plenty of fish in the sea. Do you know how many ugly, fat, and scrubby looking guys I have seen dating beautiful women? It happens all the time. I don't really know how they do it but if they can do it surely you can too.

garylouisville said...
Do you know how many ugly, fat, and scrubby looking guys I have seen dating beautiful women? It happens all the time. I don't really know how they do it but if they can do it surely you can too.

moneh







(money)

I'm about to start dating again.  I think on the second date I'm going to mention UC.  I think I'll know right away if they can't handle it.   If they can't, their loss.  I know there is someone out there who can help me cope with it.

Greg