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my "best" friend called me an infant

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Ulcerative Colitis
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Posted 11/19/2012 5:54 AM (GMT 0)
Oh my gosh, I was crying when I read the Faithmac/Somedude plan....invite someone over, laxative in food, block toilets (most important part) and ask what's wrong? I have a long list of people I'd like to "educate" about UC... Lol. You should do it, bananagirl, then after his accident happens tell him he needs to be an adult and hold it next time. Then ask if he's ready to talk about his hurtful words from the other night.....
Posted 11/19/2012 6:33 AM (GMT 0)
Bananagirl... Best friend? No way you should call him that if hes never visited in the hospital. As for the comment, i understand how some people dont get it and would say that. But again, idiot for not getting it after so long so he better apologize. I support the exlax idea 110%.

As for a retreat? That sounds like an idea! I suggest you start a new thread for that Marsky and we can all discuss in detail.
Posted 11/19/2012 8:36 AM (GMT 0)
"When accidents happen at home, rinse your clothing in cold water with some soap right away...that will completely get the stain out...but you must use cold...heat sets stains...you could have completely saved your favorite undies by doing this (more than likely anyways)....I hate throwing undies away unless it's their time to be thrown away."

i have to say,..... screw that - toss em !

and Joanna, sorry , but as long as we're talking toss, give the insensitive idiot "friend" one too !
Posted 11/19/2012 1:55 PM (GMT 0)
I think people who have never had a serious health problem just can't understand. Even when people say "I know what it's like, I had a bad stomach flu" it drives me crazy. I had a very close extremely sympathetic friend tell me during a horrible flare that I should go away on a relaxing vacation. She meant well but she has just obviously never been in a situation where she had to question doing even basic day to day things (how can I go on vacation if I can't ride in a cab to the airport or sit in my seat during takeoff or risk being miles away from my GI etc). I know which people in my life can really grasp the depth of how UC affects my life and those are the only ones I share with.
Posted 11/19/2012 2:39 PM (GMT 0)
it seems your mate thinks he is gods gift to the world!

 

i have many Acquaintances who do not understand what we go through. when ive been out whincing in pain i get the old age line "its only a tummy ache man up!" the only thing you need to appreciate are the people closest to you understanding, and these people will make a concious effort to understand.

 

my closest friends had done research themselves after i became super elusive after being strapped to my toilet seat for weeks. if your friend actually took 15 minutes just to look at a forum like this one he will see the extent of our troubles and that missfiring chunks are only the easy part of this disease.

 

i would advise sitting down with the guy and give him a good explanation of why you are this way. wether or not he sympathises will show if he is worth keeping as a friend.

 

In truth to summarise this thread, people who do not suffer with it will never fully understand. but i am glad i have caring friends and family that make the effort.

 

hope you manage to resolve things.

       
Posted 11/19/2012 3:07 PM (GMT 0)
If you explain the physical reason for the urgency that may help. The ulcerations are open wounds. That's why we get bleeding. As fecal matter impacts the ulcerations your intestine reacts by urgently trying to move it out of the GI tract and away from the ulceration. That's why it's involuntary.
Posted 11/19/2012 3:57 PM (GMT 0)
****! I love the ex-lax idea.
Posted 11/19/2012 6:20 PM (GMT 0)
richard...not all who flare have bleeding or ulcerations...but all are inflamed to varying degrees. Not all who flare have incontinence, sometimes it's become a result of consistent inflammation causing permanent damage to the message sending/receiving.

I'd more explain it as the messages are totally screwed in the colon and rectum. One part rushes it out, the other says..but wait!!! and cannot control it.
Once it's past the urgent stage, it's rushed out at any cost. It's like vomitting..can't stop it once it's started bu shutting one's mouth.

q
Posted 11/19/2012 10:13 PM (GMT 0)
There are definitely people in this world that have no ability to put themselves in another person's shoes (or underwear) and understand a situation that they themselves aren't in. They think the other person either caused their own problems or may be exaggerating. The most extreme example of these kinds of people are psychopaths or sociopaths, they have zero ability to feel anyone else's pain or emotion. This has been confirmed scientifically with brain MRI's.

Your friend may not be a psychopath but he is lacking in sensitivity. This person would not be a "friend" in my world, just someone I used to know.
Posted 11/19/2012 11:59 PM (GMT 0)
Something Pluot said rang a bell...I once had a friend suggest hanging out by the pool with me to relax while I was flaring (ok, when was I NOT flaring?). She meant really well...but all I could think of was "one layer between my leaky butt and the rest of the world...umm, no!"

It's just another example of how a disease can impact your life in a way people just won't be able to see on their own. Just like the 20 minute cab ride from the airport to the hotel. Or just the plane ride! What, I'm not allowed to get up to go to the bathroom!?! Noooooo!!!
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