Will Herpes (HSV I and II) affect my UC?

I've recently become involved with a girl who I care very much about. She revealed to me that she was diagnosed with genital herpes (HSV II) a few months ago but was symptom free while we were together. My ignorance on the disease caused me to believe that symptom free = cured, and am now somewhat nervous to learn that herpes is chronic and contagious.

I got tested yesterday and will get the result in the next day or so. The doctor I saw seemed to think that I was at an extremely low risk of contracting the herpes as I have no symptoms and she was not in the midst of an outbreak.

My issue is that I am in love with this girl and want to pursue a relationship with her. She is not promiscuous, she just obtained the herpes from someone in Latin America who was dishonest with her over the summer. I care about her too much to let something like this end what I believe to be a great thing. On top of that, it has been very difficult for me to find someone who I'm comfortable discussing my digestive issues with who will also accept me for them.

So I'm weighing the risks of staying with her and was wondering what it will mean for my UC (which has been mostly in remission for 2.5 years) if I do wind up infected with herpes.

If anyone knows anything or has any experience, I would really appreciate words of wisdom/advice.

I have HSV I on my mouth and seldom have outbreaks anymore. I have had a couple of minor outbreaks this past year and they always aggravate my IBD, but it is shortlived. The worst was one I had this past summer that got bad enough for me to call in for an antiviral - the Valtrex just killed my stomach. That gave me 2 weeks of diarrhea, and then it was fine.

Your girlfriend was right to tell you her status and you are right to be cautious. Plenty of people with Herpes have committed and loving relationships, and I believe there are strategies available for her to keep her virus in remission and for her to increase her awareness of potential outbreaks that might cause your risk to rise. It is good to be cautious but I don't think its something to break up over. Talk to her OB/gyn together to make sure everyone has the same information and all your questions get answered.

Talk to your girlfriend about having her go on daily Valtrex therapy... I believe it's gone generic now so it won't be too expensive, and for otherwise healthy people Valtrex usually doesn't have any side effects. Even if she doesn't have outbreaks, taking a daily low dose of Valtrex will significantly decrease viral shedding, meaning the likelihood of you catching it from her. Having herpes wouldn't be the end of the world for you or anything but if you were ever going to go on 6MP or a biologic there's a possibility that it could flare up as a result of the immunosuppression, which would be annoying.

Did you have a blood test for HSV? Was it type specific? I wouldn't be at all surprised to find that you already have HSV-1, many people have it and are completely asymptomatic. It is possible to catch HSV-2 when you already have HSV-1, but much less likely.

Anecdotally, my PCP told me that his wife of 20 years has HSV-2 from a former beau and he's never caught it (and they do have children :)). I'm not saying not to be cautious, but this does not spell doom for your relationship!

I'm glad I'm not in a situation like that. I wouldn't want to be with someone that has HIV or Herpes, or anything transmittable.

I understand your predicament. There is no easy solution. Sure you can take every precaution, but in the end, you never know...

Furthermore, sure there's a chance for long relationship, but there is also a chance that it will fail. And if it does and you guys go your seperate ways and you accidentally catch the herpes, you'll be in a lose lose situation. No longer with her and with herpes.

Well, genital herpes can be transmitted through oral sex. So, can't do much protection there if you go down on her, or if she goes down on your without any condom.


So, your solution is to have straight up sex with the most protection possible. Or no sex at all to be safe and little kisses here and there.

You can also have a relationship without sex, there's no problem there.

Maybe this is relevant, maybe it's not, and YMMV. Here is a link discussing risk management: http://www.livescience.com/3780-odds-dying.html with respect to dying.

Babies can die from Herpes but unless you are severely immune compromised the worst Herpes can do is make you miserable (much like UC, ha!).

I think what sfc425 is trying to do is wrap his head around the relative risk vs. benefit. It isn't something any one of us can decide for him and it sounds like he is doing the right work to find out how to manage the risk. When you're 27 you are trying to make smart decisions and you know that many of your choices are going to have forever implications (unlike when you're 17 and you are sure that you are invincible). I'm glad there is a forum here for you, sfc425. Maybe you might get some benefit from some short term focused counseling (with our without your partner) about your thoughts.

Sounds like a great plan, sfc425. I remember being 27. It was so long ago but seems like yesterday. ;-)

I met my future husband when I was 25, broke up with him after 3 months, and then reconnected when I was 28. There are a lot of compromises made when choosing to spend your life with someone. In my opinion the key test is whether the other person is someone you want to work with when making these compromises, whether or not you have similar goals, whether or not you will find that person interesting over the long haul. The counseling should help you formulate some of these thoughts beyond the discussion of herpes viruses.

Susan451 said...
I just have one question. Did she tell you about her diagnosis AFTER you had sex? If so, I would have a problem with that.

I would be careful about staying with her because you are concerned that you can't be in a relationship because of your UC. You are young and have plenty of time to find someone. Also, UC isn't something that your future spouse can "catch" form you. Just something to think about.

She told me about her diagnosis before anything happened. The only thing she didn't tell me is that it was a chronic condition, because she assumed I already knew. I didn't, which is why I'm only now becoming concerned a week after the time we spent together.

I'm not concerned that I can't be in a relationship due to my UC. I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to find someone who would be accepting of it. But I did. And it's in remission now anyway, so really all she needs to "put up with" are my 3-4 trips to the toilet in the morning due to IBS.

Look at it this way. You are with a girl you already know has it. Should you decide the cons outweigh the pros of staying with her, there is no guarantee the next woman you are with will tell you her medical history prior to sex. She could have something far worse than herpes!

If she is accepting of you and your disease, maybe you should try to accept hers. Be careful, be safe, and live life...after all we all have our dysfunctions.

- She makes you happy
- She accepts your IBD
- Her sister is a G.I

I'd take her on point 3 alone!





(just kidding)
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