Ready to give up

You need to call your doctor, any doctor but one good with depression would be best, and get some help for your mental condition. Don't wait. Feeling better mentally will help you feel better physically, and vice versa.

Help yourself by helping yourself.

I watched as my 18 yo son got handcuffed and hauled to jail the other night for failing to pay a fine for a previous offense."

Where do you livethat they have a dumb*** rule like that. Here, in Canada, all they do is add interest on your fine and if you give them 5$ and tell them your poor and can't afford, they will reason with you and you can take 5 years to pay that sh**.

handcuffed and hauled to jail for not paying a fine....what a retarded rule.

Somedude: He had a bench warrant issued for not paying his fine. The court made a deal with him to pay over time. He missed a payment. That's how they handled it.

Malkavian: I am here with no one but my immediate family. They do make me miserable, for sure. I do not endure physical abuse, but definitely emptional abuse from both my son and husband. We have a young daughter...I'd be already gone if not for trying (failing) to provide an intact home for her.

Sorry about the fine thing. When my son missed payments for his court crap they just sent his stuff to collections and then said that they could garnish his wages, tax returns etc. He was back in jail at the time. I was like good luck with that. He got out of jail and set back up another payment plan that I am paying because he doesn't work, can't drive (license revoked) and is on probation that requires him to take a weekly class that costs $30 each class. If he doesn't go he is in violation and goes back to jail but yet he doesn't have a job. Its all a bunch of bs and they just want to make money either by having you pay for this garbage or they get their money for landing your rear back in jail.

I do agree with the others that you need to talk to someone. You have a daughter who you need to get better for both mentally and physically.

geeker,

I know some of your pain. Last 2 years has included a layoff, bankruptcy, foreclosure, and when I finally did get a job working for the state I was making almost 40% less. My GERD meds are pretty cheap no matter what, but my Asacol, if I didn't buy from Canada I wouldn't be able to afford it even with employer provided health insurance. There was a point, while laid off, that I was considering whether we'd have to move to Canada to find work and get health insurance.

Wife and I go back and forth from time to time where I think we might kill each other and/or divorce. We're already right at the financial edge, so if we did divorce I think we'd both be homeless and the kids living with relatives.

Right now, the state doesn't have a budget, so come July 1, if there's no budget, some of us are probably not going to get paid. If that happens, and we have to pack it in and move somewhere, I suspect there'll be a firesale, as it were, on everything that won't fit in a minivan with 2 adults, 3 kids, and 2 cats.

When I was on unemployment, going to the state unemployment office (ESD) twice a week for Job Club was strangely therapeutic and helpful. I got to see and meet people who'd fallen much farther than I had, and some who probably had homelessness in their future.

It's not that I can "put on a happy face" or "smile at adversity". It's that I'm at peace with a situation where I know what I can and cannot change. There is comfort in that because you cannot go through life scared and worried about things.

Do I still worry? Of course, at times, and maybe too much. But I don't let it consume me.

Regardless of what you decide to do in terms of leaving your husband or staying with him, you need to find an escape. Alcohol and drugs are the escapes of some, which obviously leads to very bad places. Bicycling does it for me. I bike commute daily, plus I go out and ride at least once a week with the local bike club.

Sewing, believe it or not, is another escape for me. There's a local place, which is something of an odd mix of boutique and sewing school. I'm not really an artistic sewer. It's more of a utilitarian skill, but there is some art in it for me.

Also, you need to find reasons to laugh. I highly recommend "Christopher Titus: Rockwell is Bleeding".

youtu.be/DvINZZnEJCU

Thanks, everyone, for the words of encouragement.  I do hope things improve, for all of us.