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Ulcerative Colitis
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Posted 6/16/2013 6:36 AM (GMT 0)
I was celebrating my birthday with several friends tonight, but there is this one new guy who is a mutual friend who is getting on every last nerve I have..I usually enjoy one or two drinks at the most, but this guy is in my ear CONSTANTLY asking me why I don't take shots, why I don't "let loose" etc...I'm extremely confident and comfortable and don't care what people think, but I guess I just felt violated because I finally turned around and yelled BUG OFF I have a stomach condition..that shut him up for awhile but it ruined my mood and rest of my night...I never tell anyone I've had UC..he asked about my "stomach condition" later and I told him I have ulcers...he said oh because you're so stressed out..I said NO because they're autoimmune..left it at that..I'm sure I will laugh about this later, but for now just needed to vent!! How can anyone be so nosy and obnoxious! To top it off, he had just bought my dinner which made me feel guilty for getting mad at him. He is in his 30's but I would have never guessed by the way he acts...I can't believe how the rest of my friends are bragging about how nice and funny he is and never comment on his obnoxiousness! Guess it's just me
Posted 6/16/2013 1:00 PM (GMT 0)
Sounds like he wanted you to get drunk and "loose". Hmmm, wonder why? Trust your instincts and don't be around him. Buying you dinner is a classic way to make a girl feel she owes something.
Posted 6/16/2013 1:06 PM (GMT 0)
He good looking?
Posted 6/16/2013 1:10 PM (GMT 0)
I TOTALLY agree with imagardener2
Posted 6/16/2013 6:59 PM (GMT 0)
Be more confident in telling people you have ulcerative colitis.
Posted 6/16/2013 7:58 PM (GMT 0)
misery also loves company...and I agree with imagardener and fightUC. I don't know what I would have said about the shots..I don't drink or have ever been encouraged to do anything I don't want to do.

Nothing to laugh about, actually. He's learning his boundaries with you.

Maybe he's calculating, maybe he was just trying to think that's a way you'll have a good time.
At least now you know. Anyone who tries to manipulate once knows whom he/she will continue to so. You set your boundaries.
Your stressed out and wonky gut has served you well.

Happy birthday!

q
Posted 6/16/2013 8:00 PM (GMT 0)
Dsm, just average-looking.

I agree, I spent a lot of time trying to figure him out, and I think he has some self esteem issues and he spends a lot of time talking about how to "pick up" women. I think a person is pretty pathetic if the only way they can get someone to give them attention is to get them trashed. He also expressed interest through a friend for me the first time we met a few weeks ago.

Fightuc, I have uc under control so I don't feel like it's anyone's business who doesn't know me very well, especially creeps like him. I try to stand up for myself because although I'm quiet and laid-back, I am by no means shy or a pushover. I'm afraid someone like him would see it as a weakness making me an easier target to prey on in his mind.
Posted 6/16/2013 8:02 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you quincy!!
Posted 6/16/2013 10:28 PM (GMT 0)
LOL, I thought 'he likes her!'

If everyone else thinks he's cool, and he was that obnoxious to you, he must think you're pretty cool. They don't know he's obnoxious because he probably doesn't act like a silly schoolboy around them ;)
Posted 6/16/2013 10:31 PM (GMT 0)

SouthernGirl6 said...
Dsm, just average-looking.

I agree, I spent a lot of time trying to figure him out, and I think he has some self esteem issues and he spends a lot of time talking about how to "pick up" women. I think a person is pretty pathetic if the only way they can get someone to give them attention is to get them trashed. He also expressed interest through a friend for me the first time we met a few weeks ago.

Yeah, this is classic "pick up artistry" which unfortunately is actually a thing you can "study" on the internet... Here you are hours or days later spending a lot of time thinking about and discussing a guy you think is just "average-looking"! Whether you like him or not, he would say "it's working".
Posted 6/17/2013 12:05 AM (GMT 0)
Tornado..while that might be true...he's obviously a careless and scary suitor.

q
Posted 6/17/2013 12:33 AM (GMT 0)
I agree what's being said about being honest with your UC. I made the experience that it doesn't scare people off. On the contrary, they want to know more. And often they say that they know someone with this condition.

I used to hide it and it makes people misunderstand you. Just be open about it.

I'm sorry your day turned out bad because of that though.
Posted 6/17/2013 12:34 AM (GMT 0)

Pluot said...

SouthernGirl6 said...
Dsm, just average-looking.

I agree, I spent a lot of time trying to figure him out, and I think he has some self esteem issues and he spends a lot of time talking about how to "pick up" women. I think a person is pretty pathetic if the only way they can get someone to give them attention is to get them trashed. He also expressed interest through a friend for me the first time we met a few weeks ago.

Yeah, this is classic "pick up artistry" which unfortunately is actually a thing you can "study" on the internet... Here you are hours or days later spending a lot of time thinking about and discussing a guy you think is just "average-looking"! Whether you like him or not, he would say "it's working".

this PUA, Pick Up Artist, thingy...
You can even take classes for it lol. Trying to be the alpha male.

it's pick up artist's aftermath effect
Posted 6/17/2013 12:35 PM (GMT 0)
I'd say this guy was trying everything he could to get you in the sack SouthernGirl6 and he thought being an overly aggressive jackass was the best avenue to get there lol. Regarding the whole pickup artist thing, which some inexperienced guys gravitate to on the internet, it varies from everything from using lines like "It must've hurt when you fell out of heaven," to advice that it is best to be viewed as the most obnoxious guy and therefore the alpha male in the crowd. While it is true that no woman swoons over a cowardly, timid guy who doesn't have the courage to ask her out, I also think no woman swoons over an overly aggressive guy who makes her uncomfortable by trying to force drinks down her throat either lol. There's a lot of advice out there for guys telling them to be someone they are not... and some fall for it...
Posted 6/17/2013 1:03 PM (GMT 0)
"How can anyone be so nosy and obnoxious!"

I think it's all relative. In your situation, I might not have found him noisy or obnoxious.

I would have told him, look buddy, I gotz UC. Alchool can mess up my intestine if I have too much.

Simple. But that's me. You seem to not want to disclose this too much.

Maybe he's into you. lol
Posted 6/17/2013 1:19 PM (GMT 0)
He likes you, it's obvious.
He was trying to get your attention, and he did.

Happy birthday :)
Posted 6/17/2013 1:40 PM (GMT 0)
Sounds like a dork. I would've done the same thing you did but maybe have him buy me a shot and then throw it in his face.
Posted 6/17/2013 1:46 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks all! Maybe women should teach these PUA classes! I'm a big fan of some of the ideas in Steve Harvey's "Think Like a Man"..kinda old-fashioned! I want the guy who is not going to stay with the "throwbacks" as he calls them...and I guess I get super offended when a guy thinks he's going to turn me into one of those. Somedude, what was obnoxious was trying to spend time with my friends and this guy is in my ear "don't you think it's rude not to take a shot" blah blah blah.."you're uptight" the ENTIRE night..even after I told him I had issues...I said I don't drink straight alcohol referring to the shot he said oh there's not that much in there...I felt like I was being pecked to death by a chicken. But oh well it's over, I know what his intentions are and maybe he will back off next time we're all together. He's from a totally different region and just moved here, and it seems like he just fell on the planet when it comes to picking up women.

Lol good idea bananagirl!!!

Post Edited (SouthernGirl6) : 6/17/2013 7:55:50 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 6/17/2013 1:58 PM (GMT 0)
Tell him you're not interested in a relationship. He'll back away. lol
Posted 6/17/2013 2:16 PM (GMT 0)
"“Ask any guy if sex is important in a relationship and the one who says no is lying. I just haven't met that guy yet. When you meet him, let's get him in to the Smithsonian - he's that special and rare.”
"

A quote for that Steve Harvey guy.

I wouldn't say sex is important to a relationship. If I had a woman that is nice to me in every way, but wouldn't want to have sex for whatever reasons, I'm be ok with it, as long as she has great qualities.

However, I will agree that sex plays a part. As how important, well it's debatable.

“We men are very simple people: if we like what we see, we’re coming over there. If we don’t want anything from you, we’re not coming over there. Period. Please highlight this part right here so you can always remind yourself the next time a man steps to you: a man always wants something. Always. And when it comes to women, that plan is always to find out two things: (1) if you’re willing to sleep with him, and (2) if you are, how much it will cost to get you to sleep with him.”


 

LOL...I guess the guy with the shots liked what he saw and wanted something.

Southengirl, you are the issue here. You played hard to get and he got desperate. You should have accepted to sleep with him, he would have stopped bugging you for shots.

"You say, allright..alllright, I'll sleep with you tonight.geez"

He'll be like: Yay! ...then watch him not bug you for the rest of the night. He'll be in anticipation mode. lol

Posted 6/17/2013 3:10 PM (GMT 0)
I don't agree with everything in that book and it's been awhile since I read it (and watched the movie), but what I got from it wasn't the sex part, but the what it takes to be respected and not fall into the trap of being played over and over...somedude I for sure don't think that would have made my night any better lol
Posted 6/17/2013 7:11 PM (GMT 0)
Shots are for punks. I don't drink to get drunk, that's for children.

Constant unwanted pestering from a man is akin to having your pigtails pulled in grade school -- he wants your attention, and even negative attention is better than no attention at all, and he's not sufficiently mature to know how to get positive attention by being a gentleman.

I would just look down my nose at him and say, "If you want my attention, you'll have to try a completely different tactic. Try being polite, for a start." Then flounce off.

P.S. Happy birthday, Gemini! My bf and I are both geminis, so we heartily approve of the sign!
Posted 6/17/2013 7:48 PM (GMT 0)
I don't either, just like to enjoy something different with friends and laugh and relax..not sure if I've ever been drunk. Wish I could have come up with something more clever than bug off, but I'm really surprised I didn't punch him, he had me so irritated!

Thank you!!
Posted 6/17/2013 7:56 PM (GMT 0)
You really told him to bug off?

How did he take it?
Posted 6/17/2013 8:02 PM (GMT 0)
I YELLED bug off..and he was really quiet for the first time all night for at least 5 minutes and I felt really bad..then he moved and sat by my friend on the other side of the table and started talking to her like he was trying to make me jealous..then I felt better
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