I guess I will give my opinion since I've had UC for almost 20 years now and my brother has had the J-pouch for about
16 years so I have a little insight on both perspectives.
For me, I was in remission for 10 years and it really was like I was the pre-UC 'normal' as Somedude mentioned. I still couldn't eat certain things I learned upset my IBS (not my UC) like corn, carbonated drinks, raw veggies, wheat/grains, etc. But I was pretty much able to eat whatever else I wanted, workout as much as I want and do whatever I want. It was like I just had IBS and not UC.
Now I'm back in a flare though and trying to get into remission. So for me I am sitting here hoping to get back to that 'pre-UC normal' in a way - which for me is back to the same type of remission I had. But this disease changes over time for everybody and who knows if I will be lucky enough to have that again. Knowing I had it though keeps me from really ever thinking about surgery and I also have no interest in running towards the biologics unless I'm desparate (I am not even bleeding now).
My brother, on the other hand, had UC when there were barely any drugs available. I was so bad (in the hospital like you are), going at one point 50+ times a day! Surgery was his only option at having any life. He still struggled with it but with a little research and talking to a few people at Mayo (where he was in the hospital) who had just had the surgery, he decided to have it. It was pretty new back then. He is certainly much better than he ever was with UC but he has had plenty of pouchitis infections and even a fistula which was very painful. He also goes to the bathroom 10 times a day but he does eat whatever he wants (and sometimes pays for it!). He drinks too. He has a hard labor job installing sprinkler/fire systems in buildings and still does his job. He has a family too.
He does always say, however, he had more options back then to try out he would have tried them all first before surgery.