A teen with UC....

My best friend of 33 years has a cousin who was diagnosed with UC about a year or so ago. He's only about 17 or 18. Last Sunday we went out to dinner, it was me, my hubby, my bf, her gf, this teen and his mother. All he are was a plain hamburger and some fries and immediately he was in the bathroom afterwards. We had to wait for him to come back and when he did he was pale and shaky.

But while he was gone, his mother told us that he's on Asacol and Humira. But they're not working for him. That they were going to try him on Remicade next.

The problem is, this kid won't talk about what he has - embarrassment? Anger? And when I do try to talk to him, his mother is usually there and I'm not sure if he wants to talk about it in front of her. I really would like to help him but I'm not sure how.

If this teen is too embarrassed or shy to talk about uc in person, why not shoot him an email or text message and talk about it that way instead? Perhaps it'd be easier on him than having to corner him and talk about poop at a get together where others might overhear.

We must've been typing at the same time IPoop lol

Could you just send him to the forum? It's easier to ask questions/relay experiences hiding behind a keyboard. I'll talk about IBD now with anyone who cares to ask, but I certainly wasn't like that at first.

"And when I do try to talk to him, his mother is usually there and I'm not sure if he wants to talk about it in front of her"

WHat, you ask a question and he doesn't answer or something? Why wouldn't he want to talk about his problem in front of his mother when his mother knows what he has. It's not like she's in the dark.

"No he doesn't. He just shrugs his shoulders and walks away."

Hmmm...Ask his mother if he cries and stuff, is he angry? Make sure it's IBD with her mom and then next time you see him you don't ask a question, make a comment. You tell him you suffer from the same bullsh**t and you understand what he's going through.

He'll open up then, he doesn't know you have the same stuff, he might suspect, but he doesn't know for sure. You open up and he'll come through. Or something like that. When you do that, you need to "corner" him, don't let him get away. If it was me, I guarantee I'd make him talk.

I can usually sympathize with people who have other problems at work. lol. I get angry with them. And when they see I'm angry because of their condition, they tell me more, I get angrier and nod and stuff, shake my head then I tell them all docs are idiots and they can't find crap...man they feel good, I can tell. lol

So when I see her, I go...how you feel? Like crap, she says. I go, well, me too! lol

I feel for him. Its hard enough as an adult to talk about this stuff and to be a young adult it would be mortifying. I agree with the leading the way to this forum where he can remain anonymous. I also agree he probably doesn't want to talk about it in front of his Mom and he is probably just so angry and unsure of what is to come that he doesn't want to talk about it period. Poor kid.

My son is not sick, but he doesn't talk about 'real stuff' that often either. Somewhat normal for that age, I think.

He doesn't like to talk about....that's lame...he needs to talk about it, it's raping his life.

One day he might meet the person that has the cure for him.

Hey, I got diagnosed when I was 14. I feel for him. If you feel like sending him over here, maybe that would be helpful... But ask him via email or facebook. No offense, but asking him about it in person is often times pretty scarring. Not only to his relationship with you, but to how he feels towards his mother. When family friends inquire and know more about it than I've told them, I get really embarrassed. It feels like my parents have told them everything, even if they've only shared one or two details. If he's uncomfortable talking to you, show him where he can talk to others, and leave it at that. Some people are too embarrassed or uncomfortable to find a support system; and others just don't need it. Let him discover what he needs on his own. If he wants support, he's a teen and will find it on his own like I have.

"I contacted him thru FB and at first he didn't want to discuss it so I replied back about my own experiences. He then started to open up."

told you lol. Once you talk about your problems, he will be more willing to talk about his.

Now tell him how you've been dealing with this for 2 decades and he'll most likely deal with this till he dies. Tell him to enjoy.

....wait...wait, disregard the last sentence. lol

Thanks all for your advice and insight! :)