How Happy Are You? Why?

Hey guys, just curious about this. I am trying to plan my life out with my fiance, and we're trying to form some sort of balance between a life with the resources we need to live comfortably, and a life with balance and contentment.

Of those of you that are happy, what things have you done to keep a balance up between work and personal life? I'm asking this as a person who needs more personal time to recoup from work due to illness than normal people. My fiance has needed 9.5 hours of sleep a night for her entire life. So... we're both in the category of people trying to live happily with limitations.

Very nice, Levi. Thank you for the reply. It sounds like you're able to be successful with your career, have a faith that keeps you grounded, and enjoy very simple things on your own and with your fiance. That sounds very peaceful.

My fiance and I are doing pretty well. We came together in a strong way over the last four days after a big argument we had a week ago. We saw a counselor, which was good... and affirmed that we are actually doing really well together. We had a great weekend too; we went out for a nice dinner Friday, and spent Saturday visiting an expansive apple orchard, seeing what they had to offer, and picking our own apples.

Overall I'm still stressed though. There's a big burden on me to get my home sold, make other investments with the home sale money, direct my dad and I's business, set goals/direction for my fiance and I. I understand that there doesn't necessarily need to be a hurry... but I feel like I need to get some of these things done so I can move on to the next phase of my life, which is marriage.

I used to feel pretty peaceful about my life on my own. My home I loved was paid for, I had money to invest, I enjoyed my work, I was looking to doing more things I was interested in. Now that I'm getting married I am struggling to find out who I am as a part of that relationship. I'm trying to make an easy life for her as well, and it's turning out to be a bit of a struggle for me to shoulder it all.

for me, fun = happy !

when I was in my late 20's like you guys, I had fun all the time -

now in my 90's (that's how old I feel sometimes), I don't have as much fun, hence not as happy -

fun for me is getting out and doing physical things - I don't recall ever having fun sitting on the couch thinking -

even at my advanced age tho, I still can be happy - jumping on the bike and playing in the dirt makes me happy - unless of course the bike is having one of it's "moments" and I have to kick the snot out of it to get it started - but it eventually fires and lofting the front wheel brings on a smile again -

btw, glad things are better with you and the future missus T -

Just do things that make you happy, as often as you possibly can, and better yet do them together as a couple. The wife and I have pretty much the same interests, and we spend most of our time doing things together. Sometimes it's sitting in the lounge chairs in the backyard or gardening. We're both outdoorsy types so that means hiking, kayaking, camping, walking, xcountry skiing, snowshoeing, and other such things pretty much anything that gets dirt all over us and sticks in our hair lol. We're happy sitting on a mountain summit after multiple hours of climbing, paddling down the river, eating smores on the fire, scratching mosquito bites or looking in the woods for salamanders, snakes, frogs and other such critters (she's a bit of a tomboy and she's just as excited about finding a frog as I am lol).

We don't have everything in common; but one of us will "take one for the team" and go along anyways just to keep the other one happy. She'll got to microbrewery festivals with me and the guys, and I'll got to agricultural fairs with her, etc.

I think volunteer work or anything that gives you a feeling of service is often the missing piece for a fulfilling life. It's made a big difference for me.

I'm pretty happy. I tend to take on too many things in my life. I love being busy, but it's easy to keep saying yes to people and get stuck with tons of obligations. I generally find happiness the most when I'm distracted from all the reasons to not be happy. It's like being an attorney that's defending your happiness. It's all just a matter of how you look at it. If my life gets real hairy, I usually take a step back, look at my life on a grander scale so I can see things that cause happiness. Think about your life as Google street view(stay with me folks): you can only see as far as the objects near you. Where as if you zoom out, you can see so many other things... a lot of which will be a cherishable aspect of your life. Ok, enough of that analogy...

I work two part time jobs and am a full time college student. It is becoming more and more clear to me that one of these things may have to give... I just can't find the time to do it all and still have time to sleep/ have a social life. I also have a toooon of hobbies, most of which involve the outdoors. I can't wait to move out of Buffalo and get near some mountains... until then, I have to(or at least really should) finish school (1yr left).

Music is also a pretty big part of my life, and there's a little bit of hope on the horizon there.. I'm moving in with a good guitarist friend of mine and I really want to start playing gigs(i'd be on drums). So, I'm considering significantly decreasing my hours at a job to make room for that.

I guess the moral for me is to get out and do something that makes a noticeably good impact on the world. Doesn't have to be huge, just as long as you leave your surroundings better off than when you entered them. If I'm ever feeling down I try and do random acts of kindness. Just to see a genuine smile on a stranger's face. There's enough energy there to power a freakin lighthouse, I tell ya.

Sorry for the rambling, I'm just excited to not be sitting in the toilet 21 times a day. thinking of those days and how quickly they could return with a vengeance is another great way to stay happy; if indeed you're not really ill.


Cheers everybody.

I question my mental health constantly!!! I wake up in the middle of the night and worry like wart. Life is so utterly complex and crazy. I don't have a "significant other" to rely on, or lots of friends so usually it's just me and my mind!

After my morning coffee, running to the bathroom quite a bit, feeding my dog, I'm off to work and pleasantly satisfied I have a job. When my worrying mind starts it's thing I usually let it drift into imagination. Imagination and worry are pretty closely related and I highly value the latter.

I also tend to watch myself quite a bit saying things to myself like, "boy, look at you, you sure are tense right now" or "there goes your mind again, worrying, worrying, worrying." It separates me from ME, and reminds me how fleeting life really is. I rarely try to gauge how happy I am, and just live and let live.

John

I struggle daily on a variety of things, and I would say generally that I'm happy in the moment.
I'm excited with the prospects of being able to accomplish the goals/lists of stuff that I've been putting off for a long time.

I need to make more changes for my physical self to feel better...sleep schedule is one in the process.
I'm in a fairly privileged life situation in the way I don't have to fully support myself, I've just turned 59, and my husband will be retiring in 4 months. There will be much change...while some of it is scary, I'm looking forward to it with hope rather than dread.

You and your future wife will work it out together. No one plan will be written in stone, for there are so many variables one will encounter that have the potential to change things in an instant.

Start with the basics and move forward.  Everyone has limitations whether they admit it or not.   Just living has limitations. There are always options...

q

For me, it's more about being content, and having acceptance, rather than what most people think about in regards to "happiness". I do practice a fair amount of meditation and reflection, which probably gives me a different take on things.. these days (in my 40s) I don't place much emphasis on things I used to such as "making it" in the world.. I consider myself very blessed to have a comfortable job (esp helpful for UC issues), and able to support myself with essentials (place to live, free time, etc.). I definitely subscribe to the idea that lots of small joys and contentments add up to big contentment. Of course, when "sht" happens, I try to remind myself that it is impermanent, and will pass, and I ride out out as best I can. I try to live one day at a time.
Best wishes for you and your partner too.