Did you know "You are lucky." ????

My cholesterol isn't low...even at my lowest weight .. hmph
q

Q - that is one of the reasons why I dumped that PA a long time ago! LOL

yeah, I think a lot of times people just don't know what to say when they hear you have a chronic illness. It goes back to that old argument, when you say "How are you?", nobody REALLY wants to know how you are, it's just a polite formality. And people tend to want to look on the bright side, so if you hear that someone is ill, unwell, etc. you tend to want to point out the silver lining. And hey, we are lucky- UC isn't fatal, it's not terribly life-altering (compared to an amputation, say), & there's a ton on treatment options out there. Soooo.... and yes, truth be told, if I've got to suffer some illness, I'd rather suffer with something that makes me thin, than something that makes me heavy. Bad girl, I know...!!!!

Your right Eva Lou about people not really wanting to know how one is doing if they are bad. I ran into an acquaintance the other day (i hadn't seen in a while)and asked how she was and i got a tragic story about a baby in their extended family who died of SIDS. I was stunned. I felt like that was a total over-share to place on someone you rarely see. On the other hand, maybe I looked like a shoulder to cry on. Regardless it was very awkward to deal with. I gave her a hug and told her I was sorry to hear such tragic news. I didn't know what else to say. I imagine it's the same with UC. I don't usually tell others about this problem unless there is a discussion regarding health issues or it can't be avoided.

I had the same thing happen to me this year. A friend said I'm blessed with being small and I'll never be overweight. And I should be glad I have a disease that prevents me from being fat.
At the time she was losing weight and it just seemed she was jealous. I told her she could get it because her mom has crohn's. She refused to believed it.

I totally feel all of you... I'm a college student and a acquaintance of mine had the nerves to tell me it was unfair that my teachers gave me extensions for my projects or exams. At that time, I went to the bathroom 20 times + a day, I couldn't sleep more than 2-3 hours without waking up because of diarrhea, I was anemic (the week after I was hospitalized 5 days with blood transufsions). When I asked her why she thought that, telling her that I was dead on my feet and could barely stay awake, she compared UC to somebody playing footbal, because both of us didn't have time to do our homework. So yeah... People tend to be really insensitive

@Eva Lou - I guess you and I are destined to be alone in preferring to have a disease which makes us thin instead of fat.

Don't see how anyone can miss the general fat-loathing that abounds, it's so prevalent. I see it in casual internet posts; I see it in my two nephews and their horror of fat people; I saw it as a fat child (I rather suddenly put on a lot of weight when I was about 10) growing up with 3 thin brothers who had no love for me.

As somebody who was overweight for most of my life, then normal to under weight, and now overweight again after a year and a half on Pred, I would choose to be underweight every single time.

This may be a bit 'anorexic' or shallow in thinking, I don't care. It is absolutely impossible not to notice that slimness has all the desirability, that slim girls are thought of as beautiful, etc. etc.

Hell, look at skinny jeans. Even slim men are preferred nowadays.

So either go on Pred for a year straight or embrace your socially desirable figure.

Post Edited (NiceCupOfTea) : 11/5/2013 6:35:42 PM (GMT-7)

The real question isn't whether you want to be fat with IBD or thin with IBD, the question is: would you rather be healthy and overweight, or skinny with IBD? Because when our friends and relatives say they're "jealous" of us, that's what they're implying. And I find it hard to believe that even you, NCOT, would pick skinny with Crohn's instead of overweight and healthy.

These comments are offensive because at the root of it it implies that even the people who are close to us don't understand how painful and hard it is to be sick. If they did, they wouldn't "wish" to have what we have just to be thin.

And I find it hard to believe that even you, NCOT, would pick skinny with Crohn's instead of overweight and healthy.

Depends on what the weight was. If I was morbidly obese, I'm picking Crohn's and thin, yes.

And, yes, many women would choose to be "sick" if it meant being thin. If you are going to despise anything, despise the culture that makes them hate their bodies so much, they would feel the need to go to such drastic lengths in the first place. I'm not gonna go into why dieting isn't a workable solution to obesity, but it isn't.

I understand where those women are coming from and I feel empathy for anyone who hates their own bodies that much. I know how it feels.

Of course healthy people are not going to understand being sick. When I was first diagnosed with Crohn's, it was very mild for the next 5 years. I literally couldn't understand what all the fuss was about with this disease: it baffled me. I went to the toilet a few times a day, what was meant to be so bad about that??

You might say I got my just desserts and then some. And fair enough, I accept that. I've experienced for myself first hand what severe IBD is like and I do not wish to go there again.

But were people any more sympathetic to my plight? Not much. The world continued to revolve around them and their problems. And, yes, there were times when their indifference hurt. But every time a relative cooed to me 'oh, you look well', despite me being underweight and feeling like I was at death's door, I just smiled and said thanks. I never took the slightly stupid, but well-meaning, comments personally. Apart from once, and that was with a brother.

So, no, I don't find such comments offensive.

And I don't know about Crohn's and overweight, but I do know one thing: I would choose Crohn's vs. non-depression over healthy vs. depression without fail. Every single time.

There are worse things in the world than UC and if you think there aren't: you either haven't experienced them or you have depression which makes you see everything in the worst possible light. You are "lucky" in a sense. You are doubly "lucky" because your disease has a final "cure", which most diseases do not have. Including Crohn's, I might as well add. I'm relatively lucky because I'm still in remission after my surgery: but there are people who have to have surgery after surgery because, for them, the disease keeps on coming back.

Sorry, I know this ended up a rather long and rambling post. I just feel there's no empathy for anyone who doesn't have UC on this board sometimes, though. There seems to be a prevailing attitude that UC is the worst disease there is and that it must be taken with the utmost seriousness, and heaven help anyone who doesn't have UC and know all this.

*shakes head* Oh I'm sorry. Did I say there were worst things than UC in the world? That must have hit a sore spot.

Of course there's no silver lining when you're dealing with the worst disease in the world. I have a friend with Crohn's who's in dreadful pain from it and for whom the last operation didn't solve a thing. There isn't endless small bowel to remove so he doesn't want another operation. But I'll tell him he's lucky because it could be worse: it could be UC.

And the fat-hating is starting to come out now. Good, I'm almost glad. I like to know what I'm dealing with.

Perhaps if you read more... wrote less... you wouldn't be so confused and irritated.

My first lines were:
"Of course we can say we are lucky we don't have some other awful disease, cancer, heart defects, etc..."
How exactly does that translate to "UC is the worst."

Then again, I am not really one who speaks very much in absolutes so perhaps you weren't talking about me.

But, I am interest to know why you find it sociably acceptable to declare your envy for someone else's pain/misfortune. That is intriguing to me.

And if there is any "fat-hating," it is from my own relative who seems to have such a personal complex about her own body that she is declaring her envy for a condition that causes pain/discomfort. And for the record, she is about 5'4 130lbs... so not sure anyone would call her fat, other than herself.

When people ask me how I'm doing, I always answer "fine" or "good." People who really care can tell in a heartbeat just from looking at me, and others don't need information, just reassurance that I'm not going to be a drag.

If someone tells me I'm "lucky," I usually say something like "Oh yes, that's me, really lucky." Then I find someone else to talk to. Life is too short to waste time on idiots.