Somewhat OT - Finding Work That Makes A Person Happy

Hey guys. Question:

My fiancee has been telling me how unhappy she is at work. She has a good paying secure job with great benefits. She doesn't mind the work, but being stuck in a cubicle alone with not enough to do makes her feel lonely, bored and depressed.

I asked her tonight about me going on her health insurance, and she said I need to find out what would happen if she didn't work there anymore. It's a good idea and I am going to ask... but now I'm concerned about her.

She envy's my freedom that I experience with self employment. She says she would like to not work at her present job long term, but could be okay with it for ten years if she had some goal to work towards.

I just don't know what to suggest to her for career ideas. Most likely within the next five years I can get her and I to a point where rental properties pay all our expenses, and even with just one of us working making less than we do now we could still save a couple thousand a month. So... we have options. I just don't know what to tell her. I have told her that life usually helps open our eyes to what will work when the time is right. Is that a bad suggestion? What would you tell her?

I myself just keep on pushing on with my dad and I's business, and getting slowly into rental property. I am going to start up college courses again in accounting and economics soon because I love those subjects. I have just gotten myself to a point where one way or the other I'll be able to meet my needs without feeling in a pinch, and am practicing faith that all will work out happily because it's better than worrying.

Thanks.

A cubicle job is what finally "put me over the edge" two years ago.

I also found it boring and depressing.

Im all about people getting into careers that make them Happy. There are lots of online quizzes and tests she could take to start some Career Exploration.

I work at a non profit... only part time and no benefits... but love what I do! My brother on the other hand has tried to get out Insurance Call Centers so many times... but he always just ends up back at them. He likes the money and the benefits... so he seeks out pleasure from his hobbies/weekends.

I think it's weird and you have to go for what you want and find what excites you. I love animals, any job where i am working with animals would instantly give me a ton of happiness and a feeling of accomplishment but since i need money, I work as a web developer and I love it. I love challenges, i love finding solutions and I love living on the edge of technology. some people find this stuff to be very boring but it has been at the root of who I am for the past 20 years and I can't imagine my life without it. as much as i complain, I always find myself desiring to learn and pursue the next big thing. It's a passion of mine, and if i am not out geeking, i am not me. not only that but being a part of that community is something i am passionate about. I wish everyone felt this way about something. find what you love and do it! everyone envies that life of freedom and working for themselves but there are stable jobs where they will give you freedom. I work at sort of a startup and i love it. I have flexibility, i love the young, fun, intelligent team and I really feel like all my fighting to get to where i am, leaving stable "good jobs" and seeking what I wanted was the right decision. Complacency is evil.

All due respect Thoreau, but unless she clearly asked you to help her figure it out or help her find more career options... sounds more like she was tell you about her thoughts more than asking you... (common woman vs man communication thingy! :) )

As for the insurance issue.. do you currently buy your own insurance? if so perhaps consider keeping it as back up if not too expensive. You could still join hers but have yours as back up. If you don't have any right now , then no harm right, join hers, get some coverage even if just temporary, and if and when she changes jobs, you see at that point if they have individual plans it can be switched to, or convert to her new plan if there is one.. imo.

canadagal said...
All due respect Thoreau, but unless she clearly asked you to help her figure it out or help her find more career options... sounds more like she was tell you about her thoughts more than asking you... (common woman vs man communication thingy! :) )

A problem I suffer from often, unfortunately.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg

Back in grade school my teachers told us that "vocation" was from the Latin word voca meaning "calling" and that we should listen to ourselves and try to hear what our calling was. Yes they were nuns lol and very smart women.

Your fiancee should listen and look within herself. There are also career/personality tests available to determine 1) what you lean towards wanting to do and 2) what you are naturally good at. These are not always the same thing.

My life has been spent following my vocation but it changed several times within the field of art, notoriously hard to make a living at. Money was never my goal but once I met my spouse, and settled into being a photographer, financial success was achieved through hard work doing the thing we both loved.

A career in real estate ownership offers so much freedom if she joins you. Just make sure she is a worker not someone you'll be supporting while you do all the work. And let me tell you working together as a self-employed couple is very challenging.

I strongly suggest she finds a great job with great benefits so you don't have all your eggs in that one basket that lies on your shoulders. UC and stress do not mix well.

Post Edited (imagardener2) : 2/14/2014 7:58:59 AM (GMT-7)

When I worked full time doing what I thought I loved, I was very sick. I finally figured out it was who I worked for not the job itself. Stress for me is a BIG trigger. Now working at a vet hospital one day a week with really no stress unless its crazy busy has been ok for me. Granted that isn't paying the bills. I don't need to work to support our family but I do like making my own money.

I've been feeling like I need to be doing something more for myself so I just started selling Pampered Chef. I figure if it bombs I have some really great kitchen stuff. What I love is that they let you do fundraisers and I am trying to do tons of them for different animal rescue groups. That makes me feel good which is helping some of the depression I have felt lately.

Ima, thanks for your insights. Funny enough my fiancee really likes photography. Her grandfather was a photographer for the newspaper and lived a good life (while all his brothers became lawyers... haha).

She is still growing and I'm trying to give her good advice when she asks for it. I have to get running to work, but should be able to reply late tonight or tomorrow more in depth to you all.

Have a good day!!

what if you're like me and not interested in anything ?

I mean every job I've had I usually enjoyed, but if you ask me what I want to do ......... haven't a clue -

never working again would be fine with me

Im with Soystud on this too... I have had like... a million jobs. Seriously: terrible work history... but not work ethic! Lol.
I manage to convince everyone I ever interview with that im a good worker... because I always get hired... and ive mostly only worked management jobs.

But I digress. I am coming up on my longest tenure... I have been work I in the human services field (used to work customer service/food) for 9 months. I'll be 28 before i hit my year. Longest ever! Lol. Since running my own subway (which i always wanted to do. Subway was my first job) 2 years ago and going bonkers. (9months) and a cubicle job when i was 19 (9months, AMAZING coworkers/environment.)

So basically what im saying is ive had a billion jobs and ive been to 3 school (had applied at a 4 right when I got sick... so putting that off) for 6 different majors.... and im almost 28. I ain't got crap figured out. But ive been on my own since 17 and besides keeping a roof over my head: no real responsibilities.

Since you guys aren't planning on having kiddos... this might be a good time for her to explore her options. Or wait a couple years until your rentals are pulling in thr big bucks...

....but honestly... if she's already off handedly mentioned to you that she might not be there much longer.... she's probably bashing her head against her cubicle wall every day, dying to get out.

Us women tend to make up our minds long before we open our mouths.

If work was fun, would it really be necessary for them to pay to do it? Haha I think few truly love their job, rather it is something that is necessary (I like having a roof over my head and eating food each day thank you). I think many would say I like my job a little or perhaps there are worse things I could do.

Hey everyone, thanks again for your input.

I am going to support her, go over our goals for the next 5-10 years, and then just talk things out as we go along. She and I are both having times of being exhausted, tired and out of energy to think lately. I think getting married even if we're doing it simply is still a good bit of stress... even if it is "good" stress.

that's it t man !