Those dreaded spontaneous moments

On Friday morning the person I report to popped his head into my office and said “I think _____ is taking us to breakfast.” He was referring to the head of our entire department.

Well after battling with UC for countless years this really was my most dreaded type of moment. Fortunately I was having a “quiet” morning and was pretty empty. I rationalized with myself that I didn’t have to eat anything, take along some emergency medication, but none of this helped me relax.

The restaurant wasn’t far at all but the entire time I just could not relax. I forced myself to engage in the conversations but couldn’t help thinking, here I am sitting with the two highest people that I report to for my job – I hope I don’t suddenly get some weird kind of gastro problem!

Even though they both ate huge breakfasts, they couldn’t believe I didn’t want anything. I just acted preoccupied with my sad cup of herbal tea. LOL

After they both finished and the check was paid I must have been acting fidgety because the head of my department said, “John, you just need to learn how to relax!”

Funny thing is her comment actually helped me relax, but I was also embarrassed that my tension showed through. Maybe next time I won’t be as tense, but it’s those spontaneous moments that I really dread! In my job I guess I have to be prepared at all times! LOL

Besides medical complications I think what you described is the hardest thing about UC....no one around you really understands. I always feel like everyone thinks I'm being overly cautious and in reality I'm just being realistic, but they don't get it.

When I go out for meals, be it work or personal, I get nervous too.

John, when are you finally getting meds which help you gain remission? I cannot believe you have been flaring for years.

My in-laws live out of state, and when they come to visit they love to go out to eat for breakfast in the mornings; it's a big thing with them. Mornings are rough for me, and the thought of going out to eat in the early am is something I worry and worry about. Like my in-laws, but going out to eat in the early am well no, not so much haha.

Same for me, ks... I had a job interview this morning. First of all, it was early in the morning and I had no anxieties about getting there. But more importantly, in between interviews the manager asked me if I needed a restroom break. In the past I would have been SO RELIEVED for someone to offer, and probably already agonizing about how to ask for a bathroom break etc etc. But this time I actually just said "Nope, I'm OK!" and continued on with my day! I can't believe how much better my QOL is now.

but I do hate those surprise moments - even now - old habits die real hard !

soystud said...
if you think about it, how many times in your life buc (before uc) did you have conversations with your buddy's about someone else regarding their bathroom trips - it's not like, "hey joe, did you see how many times fred had to run off to the craptter ?" or "man, that guy before me used the WHOLE roll of tp !"

Yes I've had many of those funny gross conversations but its a little different when you have UC. My gross friends don't crap their pants, have accidents or even come close to having the same type of urgency that I had with UC....sure they've had plenty of disgusting bathroom experiences but nothing close to UC. AND they don't have the exhaustion, malnutrition, side-effects from the medications & the UC.

None of my friends had to spend time in the hospital because they had food that disagreed with their digestive tract. It's like comparing Apples to Oranges.