Went to a social gathering for first time in 2.5 months

Yep, it's been that long. I was barely making it to work and looking after my son during the last few months due to the extreme fatigue/symptms of the flare up. Plus being restricted to eating mostly just chicken soup.

So last night i went to this engagement party, and saw "normal" people there. It was interesting. It's like 'blast from the past' where everything feels new and strange.

I couldn't eat most of the food, thankfully there was rice and some chicken so i had that. In small amounts. Then i didn't have any sweets bc they all had gluten in them. The Others (normal people) had so much i would have barfed! But then im not Normal.

Oh i had a small spoon of the engagement cake. Just to taste. I figured what the heck i need to atleast taste that.

I felt a bit alienated. I dunno. Like i felt there was a big part of my life that most of these people didn't know about. And even the ones who knew didn't know how much it affected my life. I try to take it all in stride rather than play the sick role. I figure how would pity from others help me? It wouldn't really. But the down side is you feel like you are putting on a show sometimes.

Oh and putting makeup on was superweird. And i was the kind of person who rarely left the house without atleast my eyeliner on. I don't think i had used any the past 3 months!!

Well so thats my little quip about yesterday. I felt i had to share.

Any of you relate?

Conquer UC said...
Yep, it's been that long. I was barely making it to work and looking after my son during the last few months due to the extreme fatigue/symptms of the flare up. Plus being restricted to eating mostly just chicken soup.

So last night i went to this engagement party, and saw "normal" people there. It was interesting. It's like 'blast from the past' where everything feels new and strange.

I couldn't eat most of the food, thankfully there was rice and some chicken so i had that. In small amounts. Then i didn't have any sweets bc they all had gluten in them. The Others (normal people) had so much i would have barfed! But then im not Normal.

Oh i had a small spoon of the engagement cake. Just to taste. I figured what the heck i need to atleast taste that.

I felt a bit alienated. I dunno. Like i felt there was a big part of my life that most of these people didn't know about. And even the ones who knew didn't know how much it affected my life. I try to take it all in stride rather than play the sick role. I figure how would pity from others help me? It wouldn't really. But the down side is you feel like you are putting on a show sometimes.

Oh and putting makeup on was superweird. And i was the kind of person who rarely left the house without atleast my eyeliner on. I don't think i had used any the past 3 months!!

Well so thats my little quip about yesterday. I felt i had to share.

Any of you relate?

No I don't relate. Re-read what you just wrote and ask yourself if that is truly how you want to continue living your life like.

I, too am on a gluten free diet. But if I'm going to commit to something, I go all the way. Not go there, look at the people and not eat anything and making then feel uncomfortable. You're actions or inactions probably was noticed.

We had a retirement party the other day at work, a big cake was offered. They made a big cake with gluten. I don't give a f...I ate and ate extra. I was ok days after.

I believe you have to indulge every once in a while. Btw I just did 1h 30 min of biking at relatively big speed. And sometimes I biked even if my joints hurt. I don't give a f....

One time, this lady crashed into me in a curve while biking. One of my finger was broken, I had a little splinter thingy. I fixed my bike (200$) , went biking with the broken finger and with U.C why? cause I don't give a f...

You wanna live in detention all your life waiting for I don't know....for waiting then, ok.

You wanna push through, yeah I know you're tired, I had blood transfusion, so I knpw, but f... it, I'm going at it.

Understand your feelings...Just sharing how we manage..
We missed all the gatherings for 2yrs straight as DD being on diet.
Once things for sure got under control,she packed her safe foods with her for gatherings.She says when the urge to try the party foods hit, she reminds herself about her dark days!!!
Being mom it's hard for me to eat at parties when my child couldn't. So I always had food at home and spend time socializing at gatherings.That way I enjoy the best of what I need.
If she cannot make a food that matches the party menu , she just have food at home and stop by for gatherings just to socialize.

If your symptoms are under control try your best to keep it that way So that you can enjoy the rest of the things except food.

imagardener2 said...
I would never think to ask what they are drinking, I think that is intrusive and none of my dam business. "Hey is that gin or vodka you're drinking?"
?"

how can that be intrusive what someone is drinking at a party. Ir's pretty much a random question on what they like to drink.

bananagirl said...
i usually eat before i go some place so i'm not even hungry. i just refuse to poison my body with crap food since it's already so toxic from my meds.

Ok, so you went to a cookout. Explain to me what was the "crap food" offered there. I am curious.

bananagirl said...
Haha well, my family is german, so it was sausages in sauerkraut, potato salad, pound cake, pies, coleslaw. I guess typical cookout fair. I didnt sit at the table when food was served so i sunbathed in the yard.

I wouldn't consider this crap food. Crap food is deep fried stuff, greasy stuff. Honestly, would you have considered that crap food if you were never sick?

Sounds to me like it was more a missing time thing vs a food thing. In your case 2.5 months. Which can be hard for a normally social person to go without much contact.

Now that I'm feeling 95%+ better, I was finally able to comfortably go to a great friend of mines 40'th birthday party. At the party, when I first arrived, we realized it's been well over a year since we've even spoken, let alone seen each other. There were friend stat that I had not seen since becoming ill.... about 12 years ago... 12 years. It really dawned on me then just how much I was unable to leave the house when I was ill. Rare contact with any friends.

It was awesome to finally get out again, and my friend and I were the last one's standing at the end of the night... but I couldn't help being extremely and overwhelmingly envious as I listened to all their stories of where life took them over the last 12 years. Married, children, new work opportunities, vacations....

It was.... I'm not actually sure I can describe what it's like to have "lost" 12 years of life....

Its easy to be self absorbed when you have health issues but remember everyone has problems and issues. That couple over there that looks happy is going through a divorce. That women sipping her wine just found out that her mother was diagnosed with cancer and so on. Thats life. Its rarely easy for anyone. Sure everyone looks care free from the outside but so do you.
Have fun. You only live once!

Good on you for making the effort, sometimes I can't be bothered to go out, and that's due more to being a bit anti social than UC, but I make the effort sometimes, and even enjoy myself, the big downer for me is I can't really drink, but of course I do, I can't sit opposite people in a bar with a soda, it would make me feel like crap, and if I've made the effort to go out, changed clothes, put on make up, I figure I might as well go the whole hog and suffer the consequences later...with regards to food, like someone mentioned, I make sure I'm not hungry, and then I will pick at something innocuous like a plate of fries, if people are eating bar food, but I am never too fussed eating out nowadays anyway, unless its a really nice restaurant, clean, rather than a grubby bar with revolting toilets.

Rice and chicken... exactly what I would go for!! Even though I agree that food doesn't affect my disease.... I try to eat "clean" .. whatever the heck that means (in my own little head.)

But I too would have eaten the cake.... not to fit in... or even to "live life like a normal person" but because I have no self control! HA!

Your post made me so happy... to know you got out and socialized... I see that as an issue for a lot of people with UC; but your use of the word "normals" really got me down!

I try not to isolate myself with terms like that. Though I am probably the most social UC girl crapping her pants there is.
Out in the world... pooping everywhere! lol

I also enjoy hosting, so I have people over, socialize, and they eat my food. Though... I usually have something naughty... and again, NO WILLPOWER! so I end up eating little cookies that have frosting INSIDE them... ***?! thanks HUSBAND! actually haven't crapped my pants yet from those little buggers. Amazingly.

Sweets and alcohol are my iffy areas. Food doesnt seem to HELP my symptoms... but sweets and alcohol sure can make them worse! And if someone asked me if I was drinking beer and my can was in a coozi... I would sure give them a hard time. Eff that, weird question. What is this? high school?

BANANA - invite me to your family's cookouts! I would DIE lol. coleslaw.... omfg... love it. MMmmm! Can't wait to eat all that "crap" again! nom nom nom!

The crappiest of crap food to me is def deep fried low quality junk... but there is such a diverse selection of CRAP FOOD out on the market today... I could never limit it just to deep fried ;)


I hope you continue to socialize amongst the "normals" conquer! But I hope you are able to see yourself and them as one in the same.
Sure, we have this disease, but they have something going on too. We're all f**cked. So might as well be f**cked together. At least get some laughs in :)

Lol katie you are hilarious.

Funny most of the comments here actually infer that i shouldn't feel so different and that maybe being isolated due to illness, and self absorbed due to this illness demanding so much 'alone' time, is more of the issue here.
And thinking about it i totally agree. Everyone has their own woes and life troubles. But when your life issues seclude you from the rest and when so few people share the same problems with you it can feel lonely, isolating and depressing.

I hope there will be more awareness of this disease at some stage. Im pretty sure celiacs don't feel as isolated eventhough they have strict diet to stick to but because it's become almost a fad saying you are gluten free is no longer frowned upon. It's almost in vogue to say that you are GF... I mean im not suggesting that should be the case with UC but it would be better if people understood, even just a little bit.