Body Image/Food Issues

I'm a 22 year old female who was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis at the age of 14, back in 2006. I'm writing this post because I'm wondering if anyone else has struggled with body image/food issues as a result of their diagnosis?

I think it first started when I went from being severely underweight (back in 2006) to then rapidly gaining weight from being put on prednisone. I felt ashamed and self-conscious and absolutely hated how I looked. Even though I was eventually able to get back down to a normal weight, the negative impact that this incident had on my body image has continued to this day.

On a given day I can go from feeling too tiny and weak and skinny to then feeling bloated, and ultimately "fat." I think my problem is that whenever I get bloated, I get so anxious about how I look and appear to other people and get worried that I look fat. Whenever I'm feeling gross inside (i.e. inflamed) I think that I assume that it will somehow translate to my external appearance. I know it sounds superficial to be focusing so much on how I look, but I can't help it.

Another related issue that I am currently struggling with is food. As a result of having colitis, I've had to cut out a lot of enjoyable foods and always need to watch what/how much I eat. Combined with my existing body image issues, this has had a negative effect. I'm really struggling with finding the balance between wanting to eat healthy in terms of my colitis and wanting to eat healthy and limit my food for other, unhealthy reasons. I don't know if any of that made much sense as it is super difficult for me to articulate this internal battle that I'm going through.

Overall, having this disease has made me hate my body and it's destroyed my relationship with food. It's an uncomfortable topic for me to talk about and I was wondering if there is anyone out there who feels a similar way or can at least relate on some level?

I know you started this thread for a different reason but can you tell us what your UC condition is right now and what treatments you are currently doing? UC feeling better goes a long way to you feeling better about yourself.

Thank you everyone for your quick responses!

Garylouisville, here's an answer to your question:

I recently started Humira but up until a month and a half ago, I was on Lialda and 6 MP (and had been on these medications ever since getting off of Prednisone back in 2006). For the most part, I'm relatively symptom free (and feel incredibly lucky for it) but I still experience some pain on a daily basis. I also have IBS so sometimes it's hard to distinguish the source of my pain/discomfort.

I'm at a healthy weight, am eating a healthy diet and am exercising regularly. But I'm still struggling with these left over body image/food issues that developed as a result of my diagnosis.

Also as a side note, even though I do struggle with these issues (and have for quite some time now) I've never been anorexic.

I have huge body image issues since being diagnosed. I look nothing like I used to.

Zed - I am sorry to hear about your issues. I am a guy so my perspective is going to be a bit different (possibly).

My father took prednisone for an extended period of time due to Chrones. I saw the the results and that has impacted my attitude. I pretty much refuse to take the stuff. Although I have caved and taken in once for several weeks. The crap is bad news. Stay away from it.

What else I will tell you is my wife has/had similar body issues. It is funny that people would never say you are too fat and eat too much. However they have no problem saying you are too skinny and do not eat enough.

I will also say that guys are ******s and it takes us a long ass time to mature. However once we get close attitude counts for a lot more than weight.

UC causes enough issues in our lifes try not to let the other crap make you crazy. Concentrate on the important things and don't worry about the little crap. Life is too short to get hung up in worrying about the body image. Do your best and go from there.

Now trust me I know this is all easier said than done. As a guy I have my own similar issues but I try to push them to the back burner.

it's not a pred thred gar -

Quite a few girls start worrying about their weight, food and body image and it starts younger and younger due to advertising and subliminal messages. Ulcerative colitis would magnify this and be hard to separate mentally if a girl was dealing with both (UC and adolescence) at the same time.

My UC arrived in my late 40's so body image was not an issue but I sure feel for you (OP and others).Of course it's not limited to females. I know a male (without any medical probs) that still thinks he's overweight because of teasing (I'd say bullying) as a chubby boy, he really watches calories.

Yes UC has changed my relationship with food. I used to be able to eat absolutely everything but now have to eat "mindfully" because it affects my UC/IBS symptoms. Like having a BFF (food) you can't hang out with like you used to. Now certain food is my frenemy.

Always use the equation: mind first, and body will follow (and be okay)

If you look around you'll see crippled people hobbling around, extremely obese people, blind people, I can go on and on. It's really what we think, and believe, and hold to be true and of value what makes us happy and at peace. Not the state of our appearance.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to write a response to my post, I really really appreciate it!

As DMC2011 pointed out, I do NOT have an eating disorder. What I'm trying to explain is just my negative view on my body in general and how Colitis has played into that.

I was just curious to see if other people had damaged views on their bodies as a result of being diagnosed with Colitis.