anyone else OBSESSED with this disease?

I was thinking about how I used to be a few years ago and how I am now. I am completely neurotic and obsessive about my uc. Even if I am better, I still think and read about it and constantly analysing everything from the slightest twinge in my tummy to a slightly looser poop! And if I do get symptoms then that is all I think about all day and night and its driving my husband insane!

I was never like this before even when I had UC. But since my last flare, my mind has changed. I think because this time my flare has been so difficult to control that I keep thinking the worst and that I am going to have to take stronger and stronger drugs for it. I think my GI doc and nurse are even fed up of me as I email them about the slightest symptom!

I need to change my thinking and be chilled out again like I was before. Two years ago, I would not have dreamed about chatting on a UC forum like this but now I am on this thing everyday! I am OBSESSED! Help!

I try not to be. I think the stress of it causes other issues (like reflux). I know I am doing whatever I can to be on top of it (stress reduction, exercise, meditation, eating healthy, sleeping well). The rest of it is in god's hands.

I think having the right attitude makes all the difference in the world. I learned this the hard way because I went through many depressive spells.

Best.

When I was first diagnosed, I spent a lot of time reading about UC, treatment options, etc. I still spend a fair amount of time here, but it's not because I'm obsessed about my UC - it's more to offer my opinion and to let the newly diagnosed know that some people with UC don't have much trouble managing their disease, and that it's not always going to be a struggle, etc.

Now, I might feel differently if I were having a lot of trouble controlling it, but who knows. The GI I had when I was diagnosed (and was very ill) complimented me on how well I was handling everything.

I just feel like such a loser! I mean that as no disrespect to those of you that are on here as I know that many of you are here to help others in dealing with UC, especially those that are newly diagnosed. But I have had the disease for the best part of 14 years and have been fine with it really, physically and psychologically. It's just recently, I have let it consume me. My condition is not even bad. I have looser stools and irritating cramps to my left side but that's it. I only go to the toilet once a day or twice if I have eaten a lot that day and have no other issues. My disease has been classed as mild and has never spread past my left side (touch wood).

So why have let it consume me like this where I can rarely go half hour without thinking about it. I think the pain is a constant reminder of it which does not help. And the times in the day when I do not have the cramping sensation, I am wondering why I havn't! I mean I have just gone completely mental!

Yes I think you are right fruit girl but I can not really afford counselling at the moment. It's very expensive privately. I need to know how to handle the disease better even at times when I am flaring. When I am flaring, I become like a depressive maniac. I stay in bed all day, no energy to move or get up an d eat even. I am lucky in that my husband's parents look after my little girl when I am like this but we will be moving away soon and I can not act like that anymore. I need to be strong for my daughter as she will need me more than ever. I can not let this disease consume my thoughts anymore.

Happychick, I feel very similar to you. You are not alone! I was fine with my UC until a year ago and now it's all I think about and I hate how it has changed me. I have seen a counselor for several years because I went through a painful divorce. Even with all of the tools I've learned from her, this is a whole new animal. Being a patient with chronic disease is challenging. I'm not sure I have any advice other than look into finding a counselor that accepts insurance. I have found that journaling helps also. Even worse is that I am a healthcare provider. I much prefer helping patients not being one.

Its hard not to obsess when something as horrible as UC wakes up every morning with you, taps you on the shoulder six or more times a day and wakes you up at night to remind you that its still there. I would like to think that rather than being obsessed by UC, we are more obsessed by finding a solution to it. And I think that is completely fine. I refuse to lay down and deal with it, I want it gone and I'll try everything I can until it is. Its on my mind all day, every day, and I don't feel that I have much choice in that.

For me, checking HW regularly and keeping a daily journal of my meds and bathroom activity gives me a sense of control. UC is unpredictable and I know I really don't have much control but this is how I cope.

Once you're well past this flare, the "obsession" will lessen. It takes time.

If you feel it's too overwhelming, a therapist or possibly meds, could be helpful.

This is like the CNN for UC, I'm on all the time, a news junkie about this disease. Yes, I'm obsessed with my condition and I talk about it way too much.

For what it's worth....

I pop in and out months at a time, and this April will be my FORTY YEAR anniversary of this wonderful disease. And yes, I still have my colon, never had or needed surgery. And yes, I have been hospitalized for flares. I have had short remissions, and 10 year remissions.

There is life beyond this all, and It takes years to NOT be obsessed with it. This is natural, and even as I got older I would go from being obsessed with it all to not caring. Yes, it does depend on flares. The only things I can say...and yes, I know, easier said than done, is:

1. GET A HOBBY.

2. Find a support person...not just this, but friends you can be with face to face...get out of the house.

3. Learn what you can, digest it all, and realize there is NO cure for this. When I started this in 1975 there were two drugs for this or have surgery..that was your only choice. DON'T believe in miracle cures/oils or diets. Some things may help, but never cure. We are living in a fantastic time for this, believe it or not.

4. If you aren't happy with your care, FIND ANOTHER DOCTOR. I have a fantastic doctor, and there is NO excuse for some of the treatment I read on here. Be proactive (but reasonable) about your treatment. Some doctors are just jerks. never be afraid to change.

5. This is not the end of your life. This is a disease that takes time to heal. Nothing happens overnight with this. Most likely healing sneaks up on you, and one day you will realize you feel better. Don't be upset with setbacks, they happen. Overall your good days will outnumber the bad ones. It's a fact of the disease we have. The sooner you realize it the better.

You have to accept all of these, and I know agree better than anyone, it is HARD to do. But when you agree to live along side it, you have a better understanding of it, your life will go on and you can no longer obsess about it.

I've been on Simponi now for 11 months (and it has put me in remission by the way)....it was a miracle drug for me. No more enemas or suppositories for me, only Lialda and that's that! I eat anything, no restrictions...so there is a life out there. This place does get to you at times as well. I found I couldn't hang out here daily because it was too much for me, but that's just my feeling is all....I had to separate.

You will NOT always be sick, and as you improve and medicines improve you will get better.

Either way....there is nothing wrong with obsessing over something that runs your life...but you have to realize this is something that will always, to some degree be there. You have to develop a skill that allows you to live along side it as well.

Depends on what exactly. I'm on here daily...sometimes a few times daily to see what's up.
FOR 12 YEARS!! lol.

Use the information for what it's worth. Experience is how you learn what that information means for you. Other info...no matter how bad, will still have a place possibly for someone else.

Eventually, you need to seek a balance to not make everything the worst case scenario.

Am I obsessed about UC? not that specifically....but I'm obsessed to have my bm(s) before I can start my day.

The butt rules, as I tell those who are needing to know.

q

Yes obsessed - and i therapy!

well at least I am not alone!! My husband also suffers with UC and he is the complete opposite to me. His first GI told him not to let the disease get in his head no matter how bad he gets and he has sort of lived his life that way ever since. I, on the other hand am nowhere like that!