Dating Issues

Relationships can be hard, be it new ones or even old ones once IBD (or even IBS) enters the picture...but they can be hard even without bowel issues so it's hard to say for sure if it's necessarily the IBD or just the way it often goes with relationships. I think regardless of having IBD, if you don't get those "butterflies" it's likely more to do with not having a special connection to another person. Being in flares can definitely have a negative affect on libido that's for sure. For me, when I finally started to feel better IBD wise (still not great due to my IBS though) I noticed my libido woke up but because of what having gut issues has done to me physically it sadly had effected me deeply emotionally so I don't feel very good about myself in general which has added to straining on my relationship in ways....other things have added to the strain, it's not all due to my gut issues by any means but I definitely know that my gut issues have held me back from being allowed to be happy in general and that puts strains on relationships too, many things do which is why relationships are often difficult.

Don't be too hard on yourself though, the fact that you're not feeling those "butterflies" likely isn't all to do with you gut issues but likely more so to do with human attraction, you just haven't found the right person that can wake those butterflies up IMO. The good thing about those butterflies is it's a great indication when you finally do find that person and a good indication for telling you that you haven't yet and nothing's worse than wasting your time with the wrong person...except for maybe gut issues themselves ha!

The very reason why I've been single for the last 2 years is that I feel that my UC would get in the way of any new relationship. It has literally run my life and dictated my mindset and I wouldn't be able to hide that for very long. Plus don't think it's fair to impose UC on someone else - I imagine it is a pretty s--t ride for a partner to have to come along for. Unfortunately, this approach has resulted in a lot of lonely nights but I don't see any other way around it.

I also tend to think that you have probably just not met the right person for you. Having said that, you are ill and this kind of disease can take its toll, not just physically, but emotionally as well, its just such an ugly disease to have! One aspect of this illness is the effect it can have on one's mood, our bodies produce Serotonin, which is manufactured in the brain and the intestines, and the majority of the body's serotonin, between 80-90%, can be found in the gastrointestinal tract, and that is what regulates our moods, happiness, and so it makes sense that if our gut is not right it will affect everything else.....

I hope you know there is no shame in taking antidepressants, as often people with UC struggle with depression. I do feel bad for you, it must be awfully difficult sometimes dating with this disease.