Anti-social side of UC

Many people who worked a 12 hour shift would not feel like going out but I understand your hate of UC controlling your life. Realizing that symptoms are not controlled enough may be necessary to take the next steps to making changes. Perhaps you can talk to your GI and discuss what other RX you can try.

At the end of the day, you are making the choice to take care of your health and your body, and that should take precedence over everything. From my perspective, friends who don't understand this and the nature of the disease wouldn't be much of friends at all.

You also have zero obligation to your friends, and I wouldn't feel guilty about missing a few trivial outgoings. There isn't a single human being who wouldn't feel exhausted after working a 12 hour shift.

There is an interesting book called the power of no that goes into detail on how to say no to others. Basically, saying no means taking charge of your health, and you have to say no to say yes.

I personally think this is an issue outside of UC, but of course UC can make it a lot worse. It certainly does not make you anti-social, and that is just a label thrown around. It has no significance to me.

I'm glad you didn't force yourself to go out when you wouldn't even have eaten anything.
It's normal to be isolated as UC is very exhausting.
I hope you feel completely better soon

My two brothers and a few of their friends are going to the Illinois vs Northwestern college football game tomorrow. I said Id go a few weeks ago because I thought I would be feeling good. Earlier this week I told my brother to sell my ticket if he could cause I wasnt feeling that great.

Up until today he still had the ticket and I was gonna make a decision today. I have turned around a bit the last two days but still don't feel comfortable enough to leave tomorrow at 8am, go tailgate all day, go to the game at 2pm and then go out afterwards.

It sucks, especially since I don't get to see my brothers often as we all live at least 5 hours away from each other and we're all home for the Holidays. Oh well, they understand after I explained to them exactly what I'm going through right now, probably even too much info for them, lol. There will be other times. Just happy I'm starting to feel a little better.

I can relate. I hate how ever since I got UC my plans usually carry a cavaet that I may have to cancel or modify plans. While spending an afternoon with friends for most people is as simple as going, I feel like I'm planning a bank heist. Laying out where the bathrooms are, the exits, checking out the menus of places hours/days in advance to decide what if anything is worth the risk of choosing, ensuring if the worst happens I have a contingency plan in place. It does take a social toll on you (or at least me).

After 12 hours of working-UC or not-I probably would have canceled and just gone to bed. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Overall, I can only recommend you try your best to overcome some of the anxiety of it without pushing yourself too far. Get out of your comfort zone a little but do so with a grain of caution.

I found that you can tell your real friends by how they react. I know it sucks to cancel plans at the last minute but (provided they know about your condition), I am sure your true friends understand.

MarsRover said...
I can relate. I hate how ever since I got UC my plans usually carry a cavaet that I may have to cancel or modify plans. While spending an afternoon with friends for most people is as simple as going, I feel like I'm planning a bank heist. Laying out where the bathrooms are, the exits, checking out the menus of places hours/days in advance to decide what if anything is worth the risk of choosing, ensuring if the worst happens I have a contingency plan in place.

Planning a bank heist is like the perfect metaphor.

I recently got into a fight with my best friend because I refused to ride share to a wedding that was 2.5 hours away. I told her that, best case scenario, even if I didn't experience any UC symptoms, I would definitely have a panic attack about being trapped in a car with someone else for that long. She told me that she wouldn't mind if I had a panic attack. And I was like, "I would mind. I didn't say that because I was concerned about your comfort."
Attending that wedding took me literal days of planning and involved 36 hours of fasting, liquids included, and wearing depends under a dress.
Healthy people don't understand. They hear "ulcerative colitis" and equate it with the last stomach ache they had.
The constant pain, fatigue, and inability to control your bowels isn't an experience that others are familiar with. Most people can't properly empathize. I consider friends and family supportive when they don't question or make me explain when I say I have to do something a certain way.

notsosicklygirl said...

L Rachel said...

Attending that wedding took me literal days of planning and involved 36 hours of fasting, liquids included, and wearing depends under a dress.

That's how I lived for years. I am thankful that since surgery I am able to go out after a meal. Even if I need to get to a toilet, I can wait long enough that I don't need a diaper.


I was the worst about being antisocial. I seriously never wanted to do anything because of UC. People thought I was making excuses and eventually stopped asking me, i didn't care, i don't want to go out if there is any chance I am going to have an accident, and with active UC, there is a chance - unless you don't eat for a good 36-48 hours prior, which makes the outing a hassle, not fun. I wouldn't even be able to eat at the event, i would have to wait until I got home. It would be miserable for me to go anywhere. I'd be spending the whole trip waiting to go home so I could eat something.

Yeah, notsosickly, I read your posts and your previous symptoms sound pretty similar to mine. I haven't made it through all of the medication options yet, but surgery, which seemed like a worst case scenario a couple of years ago, is suddenly a much more attractive option.
Being able to eat at a restaurant or travel is pretty much inconceivable right now. I miss living a normal life, but like you said, I don't event want to try to do those things. The fact that surgery has helped you is encouraging for me. I can't imagine living my entire life suffering debilitating side effects from drugs that barely help.