Doctor Trouble

Hi....communication is tricky when issues/symptoms are distressing and confusing to the patient but sometimes straight forward to the doctor.
I usually make a list and try to touch on each of the points inless it's just one problem that's out of the ordinary.

I do ask a lot of questions and want expanded answers....im sure some doctors cringe when I'm there, sigh. Initial appointments are usually longer and all over the place for me.....and I have stated that I am a bit anxious and hyper in the moment.

I've had only two arrogant doctors ....one an ENT, another who did nerve testing. Otherwise, things have worked out well with all my long-time docs. Dealing with the assistants/office staff....only one has been an issue.

If I were to have a doctor who I needed to have but hated his attitude, I would probably bring forth the issue and ask how it can work out with my expectations and his/her lack of communication or attitude. Sometimes the quality of care and treatment options and flexibility can override attitude.

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The reality is most specialist doctors have very busy practices with short appointment times. They often rush you in and out. Aside from the superficial yet socially expected cordial handshake there's not a lot of real bed side manner. They're usually hardened, gruff, and quick to the point without a lot of sugar coating.

My aunt is a seasoned operating room nurse, now retired. My uncle said once that you'd think being married to a nurse would be the best thing ever when you're sick but he woke up once feeling horribly ill, told his wife who said you ain't dead get up and get your butt off to work. I think most medical professionals are hardened and gruff as a protective measure. As it's essential when you deal with sick and struggling people day in and day out for your own mental health. She deals with auto accident victims and emergency surgeries daily, his cold in comparison is trivial. No empathy or sympathy given.

I went to a GI back some time ago (very renowned NYC doc) and at first I thought he was great. But then after the third visit I saw the real guy. He was the biggest ass I ever met. He may have been really smart, but I couldn't take the God like attitude he had. I found another GI doc after that.

Doctors are people with specialized knowledge but some of them have poor ways of interacting with their patients. Sometimes it boils down to "Do i continue with someone with bad people skills but good GI skills"? My husband had a great surgeon for shoulder surgery with zero people skills, for example.

UC requires that GI's possess both people skills and medical knowledge because our symptoms are on an emotional spectrum. There are no definitive answers for RX meds, much depends on the GI listening to patients and tinkering with meds as needed.

In 16 years I've had 4 GI's and 2 were duds. I realized that my GI is a valuable resource but not a know-it-all. I am in charge of my health and they are my partner not the dictator. The quality of the office support staff is also very important, re-upping RX scripts timely and getting answers to my questions.

But we on Healing Well are waaaay more informed than 98% of a GI's patient roster. The majority do as they are told without a murmur. I wonder what my file says about me, maybe "requires explanation before she will comply". I only have one body and one life, my GI has maybe 1,000 patients, my medical care is on me and the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

Unfortunately with the GIs it's hit or miss. I am on my second one as the first one would send an intern in to gather the information then he would finally come in and literally give me 5 minutes of his time, this of course after waiting at least an hour to see him. My new GI is amazing. I have seen him 3 times and each time he has spent at least 30 minutes with me. I agree with Imagarderner2, I think my chart says "must negotiate treatment options" as we discussed this in the first appointment that I don't just take what he says as the gospel. We agreed that we would work together and negotiate a treatment plan that satisfied both of us. When I sent a message asking for a script for Uceris his nurse replied with his comments in quotes that he was "willing to negotiate" and would call in my script. I also think that we (on HW) are much more informed than the typical patient. I go into my appointments with a written list and he now asks me what else is on my list and if he has covered everything.

Dikid said...

as of now, I have worked on myself quite a bit and let my doctor know that I have been troble communicating and it worked well for me. but my doc wasnt arrogant, he just didnt pick up that I was keeping my mouth shut and I was minimizing...

Much of this stuff is a 2-way street, we as patients have to communicate too. The GIs are only as good as the information that we give them. You're lucky if the first GI that you go is the one that you like and stay with, I've fired a few GIs in the past before I found the one that I really like. I can't imagine staying with my first GI, he was an idiot and I suffered because of his carelessness.

If you don't think that your relationship with your GI is fixable then you should cut your losses and move on....if you can.

I've learned over the years and now I like to go into my appointments prepared with a list of questions, my current medications and symptoms. I even have the GIbuddy app on my phone that I use to monitor my symptoms when I am really ill; it tracks historically my bms, pain, urgence, etc and charts a score.

Richard in NY said...
I like mine, and I've been with him since I was first Dx'd. He's part of a 4 doctor GI practice that's attached to a local hospital. He's used to be bringing in journal abstracts from pubmed and takes time to discuss things with me. He can also do my colonoscopies in the office, which is a lot less hassle than having them done at the hospital. I'm in Westchester County NY (just north of NYC) if anyone wants his name.

Best practices is to have a colonoscopy in a hospital setting in case something goes wrong. No one likes Colonoscopies or hospitals but I think it is the best place to have one, I never would have thought twice about it before Joan Rivers' death.

I bet the regular posters here are the one's with the most stubborn and problematic ulcerative colitis cases out there. Likely, we have notes in our case files that we're difficult patients due to our uc symptoms being stubborn or hard to treat (and hopefully not because we're argumentative/uncooperative lol).

I'd like to think we're more knowledge than most patients. My gastroenterologist gives me the impression I'm more savvy then most of his patients are at least *shrug*.

the OP said...
I talk to people who see some of the best IBD specialists in the world.
oftentimes I hear that patients are frustrated with the attitued they get from their doctors
and this makes me upset, yes its nice that you might be an expert, but if you dont listen to your patient, surely you will miss something. and even if you wont, your patient is likely to switch to someone else who doesnt give off an air of superioity

do you have this kind of doc? how do you communicate to avoid these issues?

I try to have minimal contact with doctors for CHRONIC conditions. For example with UC that last time I had to interact with my doctor was to get a prescription for antibiotics. But I recently needed medical expertise for a detached retina which is obviously an ACUTE condition. This was an emergency and I didn't have the time to check out his credentials.

This guy definitely did not reaffirm my faith in the medical establishment. Most doctors seem to be late for their appointments but I would have thought a retinal surgeon would be an exception. I waited 4 hours! in his office before he could see me. Meanwhile the infamous 'black curtain' was slowly descending down my field of vision indicating my retina was coming apart.

That was only his first screw-up. To make a long story short I now have some permanent damage to my eyesight. I decided to travel several hundred miles for a 2nd opinion to perform some auxiliary surgery to fix another one of his screw-ups.

When I returned home the doctor said that I had gone against medical advice (his advice!) and he not only dropped me as a patient, but I am now blackballed from the 4-5 retinal surgeons in his medical practice. This is more than a minor inconvenience since they are the only retinal surgeons in the area. If the 'black curtain' ever returns, in one eye or the other, I would have to travel 7 hours for treatment. Hopefully my eye will hold out.

I don't have any faith or trust in doctors at all.

iPoop said...
I bet the regular posters here are the one's with the most stubborn and problematic ulcerative colitis cases out there. Likely, we have notes in our case files that we're difficult patients due to our uc symptoms being stubborn or hard to treat (and hopefully not because we're argumentative/uncooperative lol).

I'd like to think we're more knowledge than most patients. My gastroenterologist gives me the impression I'm more savvy then most of his patients are at least *shrug*.

Ha, ha, ha, not a difficult patient, so you think! Seriously though, it makes it easier for the doctor to have a patient educated and knowledgeable about their condition.