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Depression and UC

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Ulcerative Colitis
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Posted 11/17/2016 12:15 AM (GMT 0)
Just want someone to talk to. I'm having a bad day with my Ulcerative Colitis flare, actually a bad three days. My mom, who is usually so supportive, has barely talked to me this week and is currently out with a guy she is seeing. She makes me feel as if it's my fault that I feel like this, because I can't swallow pills (to take meds) and I'm not taking this herb powder that my nutritionist gave me. I'm home alone right now, and I feel so alone not just physically but mentally. I just keep crying, feeling so hopeless. I never feel good, and want to go on medicine but I seriously can not swallow capsules. And I swear to god if someone tells me it's all in my head one more time, I will scream. I know it is.
When I was in the hospital a year ago, and then again a few months later, I remember everyone telling me that it will get better and that it's not the end. This feels like the end. I can't remember a time I've been consistently better. I feel so hopeless. cry
Posted 11/17/2016 12:26 AM (GMT 0)
So sorry to hear what you are going through. I try to just take each moment as it comes when I start to feel that way.

What's stopping you taking the herb powder? Do you think it won't help? Do you trust the person who prescribed it?
Posted 11/17/2016 12:36 AM (GMT 0)
To be honest, I don't know what's stopping me from taking it. Probably the fact that it's not actual medicine and she said it would take weeks to work. Maybe in the back of my mind I don't think it will actually help. For the past 5.5 months I've been taking probiotics daily and bentonite clay and other natural, holistic stuff. None of them feel like they actually work for me. I know I need real medicine, stronger stuff.
Posted 11/17/2016 12:46 AM (GMT 0)
Unfortunately most of us can relate as ulcerative colitis can be deeply depressing when nothings working and we've all cried, screamed, and cursed a lot more than we'll admit. I've been there myself, and can say remission is a truly wonderful thing to fight for, and you should set your sights on it (you essentially are normal again).

We have a completely invisible illness as we look healthy from the outside and only suffer from the confines of our private bathrooms. So, we get lots of posts were a parent or spouse doesn't at all understand and makes light of our troubles.

It's a bit tougher when you have trouble swallowing pills. We had another post just a few weeks back from another user with the same issue. I'd ask for alternatives that can be crushed or at least come in smaller sizes that are therefore easier to manage.
Posted 11/17/2016 12:50 AM (GMT 0)
You need hope and a call to action if you're not improving over a series of months. Time to get serious and aggressive in finding your solution.
Posted 11/17/2016 1:21 AM (GMT 0)
I've had many conversations with my GI doctor about this. Ever since my last bout of C Diff and FMT I haven't seen her much because even she thought medicine was just not the right option for me. But when she did want me on meds, she said the capsules couldn't be crushed or emptied out into something because they are made to dissolve at a certain point in digestion. Nothing has come easy for me with this disease. My experiences with c diff were the worst, but my mom was always right by my side. At this point I feel like she doesn't take me seriously anymore, like she hardly cares. She's been focusing on other things in her own life now. I just want someone to comfort me right now and be here with me, but she's not. And it makes everything worse.
I tried to keep a positive attitude the first few times I felt like this. I told myself it would get better, I would find a way. But this long, painful journey just won't seem to end. I feel like I'm always going to be sick. And the stress that comes with missing school (I'm in my junior year) is icing on top of the cake. I get so emotional when it comes to this topic, it's like the word colitis is a trigger for me to start crying. Sorry for being dramatic.
Posted 11/17/2016 1:34 AM (GMT 0)
I've had a fine day up until tonight, which is weird because mornings are usually worst for me. For the past 2 hours it's been terrible stomach cramps, nausea, and I've gone to the bathroom 5 times. I feel like I can barely move because any type of movement makes my stomach go into knots. Like a big hand is squeezing my insides. I have my heating pad on, but does anyone know any other remedies for when you feel like/are going through this?
Posted 11/17/2016 2:20 AM (GMT 0)
You might want to try Delzicol. You can open the capsules and swallow the little pieces one at a time.

www.delzicol.com/what-if/what-is/

Pentasa capsules can be opened & mixed in with applesauce and swallowed

www.mayoclinic.org/drugs-supplements/mesalamine-oral-route/proper-use/drg-20064708

You should also be on rectal medication. Mesalamine enemas can help bring down rectal inflammation relatively quickly.

It's best to treat this disease both orally & rectally. Talk to your dr about Delzicol & the enemas. They are definitely worth try
Posted 11/17/2016 3:15 AM (GMT 0)
I have indeed tried Pentasa, did not work for me.
Posted 11/17/2016 4:05 AM (GMT 0)
I know this is crazy, but maybe you could try transdermal LDN or a biologic that comes in a shot. Can you take a shot? It's so far beyond what is probably needed to treat your UC, but if you can't take a pill... what else is there? How about VSL probiotics? They have powder that can go in a smoothie. I am sorry your mom isn't being supportive. I never had any support from my family, so I get it, it's hard. UC really alienates us. Now that I've had surgery and I am feeling as normal as I have since being diagnosed, I still see the repercussions of all the years I suffered. I have a weird social anxiety that I don't think I will ever overcome. Not to say I was the most socially competent prior to UC, but I wasn't THIS bad.
Posted 11/17/2016 5:47 AM (GMT 0)
Give the Delzicol a shot if possible. I'm in the same boat in that I can't swallow big pills either, so that was pretty much it for me as far as oral stuff went. I opened up the Delzicol and the little capsules went down fine with some water. It also gave me an asthma attack, so I couldn't take them again, but...meh, that's me. Most people are fine with it.

If that doesn't work, you could try suppositories. My doc is still trying to figure out what's going on with me, but that will probably be the route I'll be taking. I've heard some pretty good things about the suppositories, even if the, er, delivery method isn't as easy as a pill.

Don't feel bad about the depression! There's been some times when I've wanted to scream and yell myself, and my symptoms are nowhere near as bad as most of the people on here. You just have to keep the faith and keep busy, if possible. Vent if you have to! Try to find something funny to take your mind off of it, if you can (I prescribe two episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 per day). You're gonna beat this.
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