At what point do you stop blaming Prednisone for your behavior?

At least with me, the steroid anger and moods are typical of the much, much higher doses of prednisone (20mgs and higher). By 10 mgs I tend to just have the more mild symptoms like acne and increased appetite. So I'd say at 10mgs that the pred isn't entirely the cause of it.

Coping with chronic illness is difficult, especially when newly diagnosed and struggling. We all go through the typical stages of denial, anger, acceptance etc. We can get depressed etc.

It certainly isn't right for him to act this way to you, the dogs, etc. He needs a healthy outlet to vent and get out his frustrations. Otherwise therapy might be needed from someone who is familiar with the struggles of those with chronic illnesses.

Sometimes I feel like just my presence in the house isn't good for his recovery, and wonder if I should leave, for both of our sake. He sometimes will say things that make absolutely no sense whatsoever...I feel like I am dealing with someone who is off their rocker sometimes. I'm afraid to go anywhere near him, because I don't know WHAT I will get..he's unpredictable. I just can't IMAGINE going through this for the rest of my life, which is terrible to say, because he is going through worse than me, but still, I'm human, not super-human. We all have a breaking point, and I'm very close to reaching mine. I have to take anxiety medication just to get through the day with him. I realize I'm probably just venting, and there probably isn't any answer for me...it just feels hopeless, and it feels like there is nowhere for ME to turn...it's a horrible feeling.

I was still a miserable bzitch on 10mg. I could even recognize it happening but there was no way to stop it. Perhaps you need a vacation by yourself? Have you talked to him about it? Would some sort of counselling help?

I wouldn't say it'd always be like this. As Ulcerative colitis includes periods of flares where our symptoms are awful, and periods of remission were our symptoms are gone. When we'll treated, our remissions are long and our flares shorter, mild, and infrequent.

Have you confronted him about his behavior and if so how did it go? Certainly communication is essential to any relationship. You can look at it as temporary and a grin and bear it while he heals kinda thing, you can look at it as he's just being a total jerk and maybe he is. There have been divorces over this sort of thing before posted on the UC forum. From your post it's hard to say exactly how bad it is. Sometimes it's a mefication that makes us angry, sometimes it's a frustration with not healing fast enough while life passes us by. We can be grouchy and depressing when we're flaring and not everyone has what it takes to live with a chronically I'll person.

I desperately need time away from him...BADLY...but I'm not sure that he can manage himself and our dogs by himself. Like I've said, he spends 99% of the day in bed (although I have yet to understand WHY he feels like he can't get out of it more often)....and since we don't have any family or friends that could step up and help while I was away, it's all up to me to help him when he needs it. I'm just worn out..and it doesn't help that he spends 100% of his day talking about UC, and all that comes with it..it's just exhausting to hear about it ALL the time, and for as much as I try and change the subject, it always comes back to how he is feeling, what happened in the bathroom...on and on and on and on..been this way for months now, and it's stressful listening to it ALL the time...

I understand that his behaviour is over the top. However, to play devil's-advocate maybe if you were trying to be more helpful rather than avoiding him then it might help. Little things make a big impact. Listening is helpful. Showing concern for how he feels or how his bms have been is helpful (how was this morning's bm?). Offering a hot water bottle to help temporarily ease a sore and achy lower abdomen is helpful. I find it feels good to lightly massage my lower abdomen, trace the outline of where the large intestine is from the front.

Have you been to his doctor's appointments? I'd go and ask for more meds. It sounds like he's under medicated and suffering as a consequence. Do you know how frequent he does his humira injections (it can be increased to weekly)? He might consider adding an immunomodulators like 6MP or Imuran. He might want to add anti-inflammatory medications in oral format (Asacol, lialda, or apriso) and in recall route like a rowasa enema. He might need to be admitted to the hospital and given intravenous steroids at much higher doses, or IV cyclosporine (an immunomodulator). Has he been tested recently with a stool test to look for a pathogenic cause to his symptoms like c diff (we're prone to this and it takes antibiotics to treat)?

Believe me, I have done everything in my power to help him and listen, I truly have..but then he started turning on me, and would tell me how terrible (evil was his exact word) of a person I was, even though I was doing everything I knew to do to help him (in my opinion, he was in a completely irrational state of mind, which he seems to get into every now and then), which obviously wouldn't amount to much, considering I'm not a nurse and don't have any real knowledge of HOW to help him. I even asked the doctor (more like begged him) to tell me what I can do to help him, and he said that I'm not supposed to know what to do; that I'm just supposed to be there for him. I have been to every single doctor's appointment he has been to, and he recently (2 weeks ago), did the stool sample test, although we don't know what the results are as of yet. When we visited his doctor last week, he put him back on Apriso to go along with the Humira (he said that he should have been taking that all along, but somehow neglected to tell my husband this until just this past week). He takes his Humira injection every other week, and apparently it has been helping...his bloodwork numbers were much better than they were previously. He is scheduled to go back in 6 weeks for another follow-up. He doesn't complain about his abdomen hurting, but I AM constantly rubbing Ben Gay on his shoulders and back, which I'm *assuming* is because he spends so much time in bed. Is it typical for people to be bedridden like that for so long? I have asked several times WHY he feels the need to stay in bed so much, and I've yet to get a definitive answer. The closest thing I can get is related to needing to constantly elevate his legs, and because his back hurts. *I* would think his back hurts because he is in bed so much, but maybe I'm wrong; maybe it's the UC causing his back to hurt? I just don't know....

Thank you...I didn't think so. I would think it would make matters worse rather than better, which I've tried to tell him...I would *think* you need to try and function the best you can...

Hi RR, I have lost a couple relationships due to my illnesss, cuz I was sick and I was angry all the time and mad, so you're sick and emotionally you're pisseed that you are sick.

Your husband sounds really bad. Humira mad me so sick and sad where I didn't even shower. I felt hopeless. Are you sure it's working? What's about antibiotics to get the flare under control?

I'm sorry you are going through this. Please protect the dogs!!!

I'm new to here but I, myself, have been struggling with both being on(9months, 40mg) and coming off (mid 12/16) Prednisone...it took me months to understand that I had every.single. horrific side effect imaginable. I'm lucky to still have my job, my best friends and my family. I'm not going to make excuses for your husband, but I will share with you my humble opinion, because I am in the midst of living it and it is miserable-even still today...which is what brought me to join here--some much needed support.

I think I was a total jackass to my best friends and family because I felt safe being myself. I had zero control over my emotions and became a complete angry and volatile person--who had no idea the medicine could cause such behavior. My old GI never told me about ANY of the side effects that I experienced EXCEPT the following: I might have problems sleeping (total insomniac), I might feel invincible (yes, superhero strength) and my heartbeat might be fast (yep. check). Within a month of taking 40mg of Prednisone-I woke up one day and didn't recognize myself. For the first time in my life: I gained a TON of weight-(which I am having a horrible time dealing with), My eyes had started not seeing as sharp, I felt I was in a cloud, I had no patience for ANYTHING or ANYONE, I was capable of flying off the handle and becoming enraged about nothing important(not ever an angry person), had heart burn, some weird skin ailments, bruising that looked like I was being beat up daily, scratches from who knows what that made me look like I was hurting myself, loss of half my hair, self esteem that's still in the garbage, terrible pain-joints, back, neck, bones aching- and more---you name it--I am either working through it or have suffered with it since last year.

I alienated myself from the very group of people who love me and know me without being able to understand I was having very very bad reaction to the only medication that was slightly working, but eventually stopped. After learning about how many side effects I was suffering from were caused by the Prednisone, I ripped my GI a new one for not disclosing these side effects after I asked and was concerned (didn't think I needed to research on my own on google-I will never be that naive again) and started asking my family and friends if I had been a monster to them, found a new GI, who told me yes, it's common to have issues with anger and trouble dealing with emotions while on this...try to meditate they said...if you can physically handle yoga--get into it(which...so sad- I was too sick to be able to go) The happiest day was when my new GI told me I could start to SLOWLY come off...I stopped too rapidly the first time and could have died from the withdrawl, and brain aches that I had because I just didn't/couldn't handle being so awful anymore...I'm grateful my friends and family still love me.

Sorry so long...Sorry your husband is struck by the awfulness of this medicine...I think he is lucky to have someone who would stick by his side through such bad behavior.
I'm still very much coming off of the Prednisone...my doctors say I am not patient enough with my recovery, I think they're 100% right, but that is the medication still very much alive in me, unfortunately...they told me 3-4 months after my last dose and I will START to get back to normal...man, I hope they are right.

I hope your husband starts to feel more like himself sooner rather than like me...it took me 10 weeks to step down and I still had withdrawl pretty bad. I hope things get better for you!

Would he be open to talking to a counsellor? Unloading stuff on a stranger can be very useful.
Family is not the best for that.

It sounds like the pred is not really helping, and weaning off could be attempted.

Look after yourself Rebel.

i had the same anger problem when i was on it my wife went with me to the doc to ask about my mood swings. the doctor prescribed me zanex for the rest of my taper which helped me alot